The shadowy figure stepped into the light, revealing a towering woman clad in a golden apron, wielding the most ornate rolling pin the group had ever seen. It shimmered with an otherworldly glow, and the faint sound of dough being kneaded filled the air around her.
"Behold!" she bellowed, her voice resonating like the clanging of pots and pans. "I am Lady Crustacia, Keeper of the Rolling Pin of Doom, and the final guardian of the Golden Bakery!"
Sylvara squinted at her. "Why does she sound like she's narrating a cooking show?"
Lady Crustacia ignored the comment, pointing the rolling pin at the group. "You dare defile the sanctity of the carb guardians with your petty antics? Prepare to be flattened like dough beneath my might!"
"Great," Kazuya muttered. "Another carb-related nightmare. Can we just skip to the part where we beat her?"
"You underestimate my power, Chosen One!" Crustacia roared. "I wield the power of yeast!"
Kazuya blinked. "The power of... yeast?"
Battle of the Breads
Lady Crustacia twirled her rolling pin, and waves of golden energy shot out, transforming the battlefield. Loaves of bread rose from the ground like golems, their crusty faces menacing as they marched toward the group.
Sylvara groaned. "I swear, if I never see bread again, it'll be too soon."
"Less complaining, more smashing!" Ravynne shouted, slicing through a baguette golem with her twin daggers.
Kazuya lunged at Crustacia, dodging flying dough balls. He swung Eggscalibur, but Crustacia deflected it with her rolling pin, sending him skidding backward.
"You'll have to do better than that!" she taunted. "I've kneaded dough tougher than you!"
"Is she... making bread puns?" Sylvara asked, half-amused and half-annoyed.
"Focus!" Ravynne yelled, cutting through another wave of bread minions.
Sylvara's Secret Weapon
As the battle raged on, Sylvara rummaged through her bag. "If we're fighting carbs, we need an anti-carb weapon."
"What do you have in there?" Kazuya called out, barely dodging a sourdough boulder.
Sylvara grinned, pulling out a bottle of wine. "Time to get saucy!"
Before anyone could question her plan, she uncorked the bottle and hurled it at Crustacia. The wine exploded in a cloud of vapor, causing the bread golems to falter and crumble.
Lady Crustacia staggered, coughing. "What sorcery is this?"
"Just a little pairing suggestion," Sylvara said smugly. "Bread and wine—they go great together!"
The Rolling Pin's True Power
Angered, Crustacia raised her rolling pin high. "You think a cheap trick like that can stop me? Behold the ultimate power of gluten!"
The ground shook as a massive bread titan rose behind her. It was a towering monstrosity of braided challah, wielding two baguettes like clubs.
"Of course," Kazuya groaned. "Why wouldn't there be a bread titan?"
"We're gonna need a bigger plan," Ravynne said, eyeing the colossal carb.
Sylvara smirked. "Leave it to me."
She grabbed Cluckminster, who squawked in protest. "What are you doing?!"
"Trust me, birdbrain," she said, hurling him toward the bread titan.
Cluckminster flapped frantically, clinging to the titan's face. "This is not what I signed up for!"
But his panicked flapping dislodged a vital piece of dough, causing the titan to wobble.
Crustacia's Downfall
Seizing the opportunity, Kazuya charged at Crustacia, leaping over flying bread debris. With a mighty swing of Eggscalibur, he struck her rolling pin, shattering it into golden crumbs.
"Noooo!" Crustacia cried as the bread titan collapsed behind her.
The battlefield fell silent, save for the soft sound of dough deflating.
"We did it!" Sylvara cheered, brushing crumbs off her dress.
Ravynne sheathed her daggers, eyeing Crustacia warily. "What happens now?"
Crustacia fell to her knees, defeated. "You have bested me... but the carb trials are not over. The Golden Bakery still holds secrets you cannot imagine."
Kazuya sighed. "Of course it does. Why wouldn't it?"
The Path Ahead
As Crustacia faded away, the group found themselves standing before a massive set of golden doors.
"Let me guess," Sylvara said, inspecting the doors. "This leads to the next ridiculous challenge?"
"Probably," Kazuya said, exhausted. "But at least we're carb-free for now."
Cluckminster landed on Kazuya's shoulder, still covered in dough. "I hate all of you."
Ravynne smirked. "You'll get over it."
As the group pushed open the golden doors, they braced themselves for whatever absurdity lay ahead. But deep down, they knew one thing for sure: in this world of chaos and carbs, the only certainty was more insanity.