The following day was different.
Kaito could feel it the moment he saw Hana in the hallway. She didn't greet him with her usual quiet smile. She didn't even look in his direction as they passed each other between classes. It was subtle, but Kaito noticed it immediately—a shift in the air between them.
During lunch, Kaito sat at their usual spot in the courtyard, waiting for Hana. The sun hung low in the sky, casting long shadows over the benches and trees around them. He had already spotted her walking across the field, but for some reason, she wasn't walking toward him. She had her head down, her eyes focused on the ground as she approached the benches, sitting at the far end, away from him.
It felt like a slap to Kaito's chest. The warmth that had existed between them seemed to evaporate in an instant, replaced by a cold distance he wasn't used to.
Hana had always been quiet, but today, she seemed closed off—almost like a different person. She hadn't smiled, hadn't even acknowledged him when they locked eyes. Kaito's heart sank.
"Hey," Kaito said, trying to break the silence as he slid into the seat next to her. "What's up with you today?"
Hana didn't respond immediately. She simply picked at the food in front of her, her movements slow, almost mechanical. When she finally looked at him, her eyes seemed distant, as if she were somewhere far away.
"I'm fine," she replied, her voice flat. "Just... tired."
Kaito frowned, unsure of what to make of her words. This wasn't like her. The Hana he had gotten to know—the Hana who laughed at his jokes, who tolerated his constant teasing, the one who'd shared her dreams with him—was gone. She was replaced by someone who seemed far away, as if she were already preparing to leave, even though she still had days left.
"Are you sure? You've been acting strange all day," Kaito pressed, his voice filled with concern.
Hana gave a small, humorless smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "I'm just trying to get through the day, Kaito."
"Get through it?" Kaito echoed, his brow furrowing. "What does that mean? Hana, you're acting like—"
"Like I don't care anymore?" Hana cut him off, her voice suddenly sharp. She didn't look at him, her gaze focused on her food, though her hands had stopped moving. "Maybe I'm just tired of pretending like I can handle it. Maybe I'm just tired of being here."
Kaito's throat tightened, her words stinging more than he expected. "What do you mean, 'tired of being here'? You've been fine up until now, what happened?"
Hana's shoulders sagged, and she finally looked up at him, her eyes filled with something Kaito couldn't quite place—frustration? Sadness? Both?
"I don't want to talk about it," she said softly, pushing the plate away from her. "I just don't want to make things harder than they already are."
"Making things harder? Hana, you're already making it harder by shutting me out. What's going on with you?"
Hana didn't respond at first. Her lips pressed together in a thin line, and her eyes darted away from him. Kaito could tell she was struggling, but she didn't want to admit it. There was something deeper than just her leaving—it was the fear, the pain of saying goodbye, of facing the reality that their time together was limited.
Kaito leaned forward, trying to catch her eye. "Hana, if you're going to leave anyway, don't you want to at least make these last days count? You don't have to shut me out like this."
Hana finally met his gaze, and Kaito saw the conflict in her eyes. For a moment, he thought she might say something, but instead, she shook her head, her lips trembling.
"I can't do this, Kaito," she whispered, barely audible over the noise of the other students around them. "I can't... get close to you. Not now. Because I'm already starting to care, and when I leave, it's going to hurt. It's going to hurt so much, and I don't know if I can take that."
The words hit Kaito like a punch to the gut. He could see the pain in her eyes now, the raw, vulnerable emotion she had been hiding behind her calm demeanor. Hana was afraid. Afraid of the pain that would come when she left, afraid of letting herself feel too much for him because it would make the goodbye harder.
Kaito didn't know what to say at first. He could feel his own heart tightening in his chest, but he knew he couldn't let her push him away like this—not now, not when they still had time left.
"Hana," he began softly, reaching out to place a hand gently on her arm. "I understand. I do. But you don't have to shut me out. I'm not going to make this harder for you. We don't need to pretend like we don't care about each other. I... I don't want to pretend either. I know it's going to hurt when you leave, but we can still make the most of the time we have left."
Hana's eyes flickered with doubt, but she didn't pull away. The silence stretched between them, filled with unspoken words.
"I'm scared too, Kaito," she admitted finally, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm scared of how I'm going to feel when it's time for me to leave. I don't know if I can handle it."
Kaito squeezed her arm gently, trying to reassure her. "We don't have to handle it right now. We can just... be here, together, for as long as we can."
Hana met his gaze again, her lips trembling as she fought to hold back tears. For a moment, Kaito thought she might break down in front of him, but she held it together, just barely.
"Please don't leave," Kaito whispered, his voice raw with emotion. "Not like this."
Hana's eyes softened, and for a brief second, she looked like the girl he had come to know—the girl who laughed at his jokes, who teased him in return, who cared for him in ways she didn't even realize. But then the wall came back up, and she quickly stood up from the bench, pulling her arm away from him.
"I need to go," she said, her voice steady again, but the distance between them felt wider than ever.
Before Kaito could say anything else, she turned and walked away, leaving him sitting alone with his thoughts, a hollow feeling in his chest.
The rest of the day passed in a blur for Kaito. Every time he saw Hana, she seemed further away. Her smile had faded, her voice quieter, her steps more distant. The cracks that had appeared between them only deepened as the hours wore on, and Kaito realized with a sinking heart that Hana was pulling away because she didn't want to face the inevitable pain of saying goodbye.
And Kaito wasn't sure how to fix it.