I wasn't a fool.
It was clear to me that Nicchi had at least a basic interest in me.
What I don't understand is why she waited so long to express that underlying intent, waiting until the year is almost over to even try approaching me.
.
To her, I must only be a play thing… Someone who she could easily pick up and throw away again and, well, she wasn't wrong.
.
.
Classes finally finished for the day so I begrudgingly pick up my drowsy hand and pack up, for what was another boring day.
I found myself seeing school as nothing more than a simple waste of time. For me, getting back home as soon as possible was my only priority.
Yet… even at home, I had nothing to do, often resorting to reading or mindlessly consuming media until the next day arrived.
.
Disturbing my sorrowful mind, the classroom door gets slid open in an aggressive manner, unveiling the young girl standing behind it.
My classmates being left just as confused as I was, the girl walked over to my desk and plopped down the basketball in her hands.
"Marin, is it okay if we start with Basketball? We're doing our grades next week, so I need to get some practice in.", she carelessly said loud enough for everyone to hear.
I just couldn't understand how she seemingly didn't care at all about what others might think.
Well, on the contrary, exactly that could have been her intention as well.
"I-I'm not really good at basketball. Are you fine with that?", I said, desperately trying to avoid her chasing gaze.
It was clear that I was not confident in my basketball skills, so why would she keep insisting on this stupid lie.
Surprising me, she picked up the ball again and grabbed my left arm, dragging me with her.
I could practically feel my classmates confusion, as well as the denouncing words that left their mouth at Nicchi's easily misunderstood display.
"Was that guy always in our class?", on of them muttered to her friend.
"So even losers can get laid but I can't?!", another exclaimed, causing the class to break out in laughter.
.
.
Arriving on the school's sports court, Nicchi passed the ball over to me, causing me to shakily catch it.
I wasn't especially thrilled to be embarrassed. Yet, I couldn't find a way to stop it this time, so I decided to just stop trying altogether.
So I passed the ball back, sitting down on the bench near the court.
"I'm sorry, I think I'll just watch you play."
"That would probably be more beneficial for your learning.", I added honestly.
Additionally, I wasn't wearing my sports clothes, so I figured I wouldn't want to start profusely sweating in front of her. I had to do anything to stop her from forcing me to play.
.
She went silent for a bit, until she finally dribbled the ball a bit and got into a shooting position.
"You're pretty lazy, aren't you.", she said, barely hiding her disappointment.
'I know… I know it better than anyone.'
Out of all of my classmates, I had the worst grades in sports class. The worst part about that was that I was actually trying my best.
Although I gave it my all and did all I could, I got even worse grades than those who barely even attended.
"J-Just start shooting.", I said, but my mind was racing.
What was even the point of me tagging along if I'm not going to end up helping at all?
Oh well, she was bound to lose interest in me anyways, so it wasn't all that bad that it happened earlier, rather than later.
After this, she would probably stop talking to me… I could go back to my solitary life.
.
.
The next day's walk to school was even more excruciating than usual, leaving me in a horrible mood.
My mind kept plaguing me with thoughts about yesterday, even though I knew that it was all futile now anyways.
I couldn't wait for those stares to end and for my life to go back to how it was.
.
Or was that really how I thought of it deep inside?
Going back to the desperate life, filled with annoyance and miserable emotions?
I wouldn't know. I just wanted to stop thinking these unnecessary thoughts.
The birds chirping outside the window, the light breeze through the open window, even the teacher teaching, all of these things never changed, so why should I?
.
That was until after the first period had ended and a squeeling chair in front of me made way for my classmate, who was now facing me.
He was someone I could easily recognise as one of the more popular guys, yet what I couldn't recognise was why he would even bring up a conversation with someone like me.
"Dude, you bagged a woman?", he asked with a low tone.
"I didn't."
Annoyed by my answer, he put his hand on my desk and continued, despite my obvious resignation.
"Don't pretend, bro. We all saw Nicchi yesterday, so what's up with the two of you?"
"Don't tell me you of all people got in a relationship with someone like her, haha.", he added, completely full of himself.
.
"Fuck off and ask her if you're that interested. After all, you and I are no friends, so I see no reason to tell you anything.", I say, grabbing my backpack and rushing out of the classroom.
Just as expected, Nicchi didn't come today. If anything, that was to be expected.
Yet, subconsciously, I found myself at the sports court again.
I-I just wanted to bask in the feeling from back then again. I wanted to remember how it felt. The embarrassment, the anxiety.
Suddenly, a voice from behind me caused me to shudder.
"So you were here, Marin. Sorry for coming a bit late today, our teacher made us stay a bit longer."
"T-That's alright. I don't mind."
Letting out a sigh, she sits down next to me,
"Hey, do you perhaps not like basketball? I thought you hated it, so I brought a volleyball today."
The truth was, I loved being with her.
No… Having someone to talk to itself was such a freeing feeling. It was as if the weight on my shoulders was just an illusion all along.
"You didn't have to. I'm just scared of embarrassing myself, so I didn't want to play yesterday."
I'm shocked that something like that would actually leave my mouth, yet it felt natural.
It felt like I just wanted to tell her the truth. I wanted to make her stay.
"What?! You don't have to be, okay? Wait here for a second, I'll go back and pick up the basketball instead."
But... did I really deserve such an angel?