Shooting gallery, the Terror on the edge of the Pool, Fatty Olympics.
"All right," I put the gun to my shoulder, holding up the iron sights as I aimed, "This is a problem."
The small monster, a goblin, started to swing the spear around. It laughed and the other goblins turned green eyes to the first. Then they started to kill each other.
Like murderous nesting dolls, a slightly bigger goblin stabbed, slashed, or crushed the last one holding the Spear as the Spear floated on a river of blood toward the biggest Goblin. I watched in shock as the bigger ones that were attacking the shield turned, each falling in frenzied lust. Finally, there was a rather large goblin that picked it up and was threatening the final and biggest one, who was circling from a safe distance.
They barked and growled in some kind of chittering language before the one with Grandpa's spear lunged. The enormous one put out his hand, catching the spear tip with his own flesh and stopping the other monster dead in terror. Then, with the sword in the other hand, the largest goblin claimed his prize.
Dropping the sword, the monster turned to me with the spear raised and grinned evilly with a mouth full of rotten teeth.
"Hey," I said, lining up my sights with his heart, "those teeth are more like it."
BA-BA-BANG!
Three rounds exploded in a burst, at least one of them hitting his chest and another hitting his head as the recoil pulled the muzzle off. The monster staggered, and I wrestled the gun back on target to let off another burst of death. The monster, the biggest of all the goblins, fell unceremoniously to the ground, twitching as I heard another ding.
"Ah shoot," I said, watching Grandpa's spear fall with the goblin half a football field away, "I should have waited for him to get closer."
I waited and scanned the environment, trying to see if I had missed any goblins. But there wasn't any movement. So I put the gun down, and carefully approached the fence. Only sparse slots of moonlight filtered through the trees, and the slippery carnage was not good for my heart. Three or four metric tons of viscera in the moonlight had a way of turning the fear organs.
Grabbing onto the fence, I listened to an entirely quiet forest. No crickets, no birds. Just a void of sound. This would be my first time leaving the shield on purpose, and all to get Grandpa's spear.
Something moved in the corner of my vision. A twisting shadow with just enough glinting malice to strike me in the trembling bowels.
"Nope!" I turned away, heart thundering, "Nope nope nope!"
Surely, the spear wouldn't be that powerful if another goblin picked it up. But who knew what was out there? That was the problem though. I knew what was out there, and it was death.
"Ahhh," I said, turning back, "Grandpa! Why couldn't you give me a spear that came back?!"
The fence was low, only a couple of feet high, and I swung my leg on it as my head swiveled for danger. Then, still holding tight to the fence, I swung the other leg over. No change accompanied this, the movement I thought I saw before didn't reappear. But a lifetime of bullying had honed my instincts. I knew that, at that moment, something cruel was smiling at me.
"NOPE!" I hissed loudly, feeling the depth of that distance before me. I was well acquainted with bait. The bullies would use it all the time. Clothes, books, food. A spear was new for me, but it was still bait.
"I need that," I hissed, "It's my grandpa's."
A fake friend had stolen things from my grandpa when I was young. A piece of one of Grandpa's treasures. I'd punched the 'friend', taking it back. Everything my grandpa treasured was my treasure. And he'd left this spear, this land, and this home to me. For me to treasure.
I trembled, feeling the malicious grin in the darkness. I bunched up my legs, pressing my feet against the fence, and remembered my swimming lessons. The deep end of the pool was terrifying, but if you push off hard enough and fight to keep going, you can make it to the other side.
"HAH!" I screamed and exploded outward, newfound strength blurring the forest as I hurdled the corpses. I was doing it. I was faster than an Olympic runner. I was strong enough to-
And then I slipped.
The ground had a solid inch of blood on it, and I fell face-first. But this time, I locked my arms in front of me and skidded along on my belly. I was hydroplaning on blood.
It wasn't fast enough. I could feel the jeering grin falling on me as a falcon in the dive, and I desperately paddled, pushing off with my arms and using my legs to steer. Still, I felt the shadow's pleasure. I hadn't changed course, still beelining for the spear..
At the last second, I kicked off one of the fallen trophy skulls and knocked myself to the side, missing the spear as a shadow descended. I managed to spin, putting my legs up as I collided with a tree. I didn't even look as I launched off. I couldn't stop now.
Analyzing my course, i spotted the giant sword that the enormous goblin had wielded driven into the mud. I pushed myself up to my knees, using my belly as a stabilizing third leg and managed to catch the giant sword in both hands. Using it to pull myself to my feet, I braced my weight and pulled myself out of the mud.
I turned to face the shadow. Its details remained obscure, save for the bone-white smile with absolutely perfect teeth. It curled a long and delicate hand and grasped the spear as it grinned at me. Why didn't it pick the spear up?
I charged forward, my lumbering form bulky and slow again. The corpse of the enormous goblin lay beside the spear, blocking off my route back home. That was fine. I could use that obstacle.
I swung early, about five feet further than the blade could reach. The shadow's smile seemed to grow, creeping into giddy disbelief. Then I let go, the giant blade flying through the air and hitting the shocked shadow as it tried to twist out of the way. The sword made a sickening crunch as it hit, and the weight flung the creature away.
I managed to grab the Spear in time to see the shadow skitter back toward me, undaunted with a limp. I grabbed the enormous Goblin by his belt and steadied myself. The monster lunged for my throat, disregarding the spear entirely.
I grunted and leaped, hauling on the loincloth as I pulled myself up into the air. Twisting midair, I pushed the goblin's corpse as hard as I could toward the shadowy grin.
I felt the smile disappear, although the presence still persisted.
Skidding on the blood, I scrambled and slipped back to the fence. Back to safety. Once again I lunged head-first into the shield, but just before I burst into the shield I felt a sharp pain in my right leg. A searing agony cut across my right leg. Then I plopped safely into my grandpa's yard.
Missing one foot.