It's been three weeks since the scary incident at the breakfast table.
The incident that happened with Sikara had kept me on edge and always looking over my shoulders, monitoring and noticing every one of my surroundings...I became scared for almost everything and everyone who walked past me.
I groaned in displeasure as Sikara's words flowed in my head again for the hundredth time "Be safe, Sara".
Now, the question was...
What exactly was I protecting myself from?
What and who was out there to get me? And,
How can I be safe when I knew nothing about Sikara and the specifics of the rest of her dreams?
Three weeks ago, after the bomb Sikara dropped on the table when Sikara had a premonition of my death, she started behaving in a strange manner. It was obvious she had been seeing more and more of these dreams lately. But when asked about the details of the dreams, she wouldn't talk, she would brush it aside saying "It isn't important."
My death was nothing important??
But, I get that she doesn't want to tell me. Because if she told me, I wouldn't even come out of the house anymore.
Sikara, a once happy-go-lucky child, not giving a care about the world, suddenly became so detached, cold, and depressed. She slept after everyone and woke up before everyone—waking everyone up with her screams. Those episodes were making her miserable, timid, and always afraid of the littlest of things.
It was such a huge shame that as her older sister, I couldn't do anything to help her at all. The only thing that I could do was to support, comfort, and sing to her every time she woke up from one of those episodes. But those didn't help because, with each day, she was getting more and more miserable.
She had also become very close to mom, and it seemed mom something. There was something she wasn't telling us.
These dreams had become my headache. Apart from being clumsy and not paying attention to certain important things, I had become a mess.
A walking mess.
Despite my paying attention to my surroundings, everything and everyone had become so insignificant to me. If I cared about what they said about me before, now, I do not give a fuck.
Mom was talking to me, but I didn't care. I had long zoned out of the conversation we were having. I was running late for school but she didn't care. She insisted on talking to me before I left for school. What she was saying wasn't new anymore. It was just the same—take care of yourself, don't talk to anyone about this, make sure nobody finds out about your sister's situation, keep your mouth shut and your ears and eyes open at all times, come straight home immediately after classes but do not forget to see Dr. Chen. That is an absolute necessity —that I was hearing every day. It's like an anthem now.
"Sara." Mom called out "Were you even paying attention?" She looked at me in a 'seriously' kind of way
What do I tell her? That her speech was boring? "Yes mom, I listened to every word, I even know them by heart now" I gave her an awkward smile. "I could recite them for you if you want. But unfortunately, I am running late for school and I need to go"
"Yes, you can head out now," Mom said and I stood up from the place I was sitting opposite her and turned to leave when I remembered Sikara had to go to school too.
"Mom, where is Sikara?" I asked "I have to take her to school too" I dragged my bag to a more comfortable position on my shoulders.
Mom sighed "Sikara won't be going to school today"
Again? "Mom, again?" I asked. The shock was written on my face.
"Yes child, again"
She can't be serious "Mom it's three weeks now and Sikara hasn't been to school. What do you think people at her school would say?" I asked in disbelief.
"Well, I do not care about people's opinions" She stood up, walking to the kitchen with a kind of saunter as if she hadn't a care in the world.
Incredulous.
"How can you not care about people's opinions?" Giving her a suspicious look, I continued "You should care, you've always cared. That was what you do every day, right? So what happened now? You've always cared about people's opinions! So why not now?"
Mom murmured something under her breath before speaking "I am surprised" What? "Yes, I am really surprised..." she turned to face me, keeping eye contact as she spoke "...You had it in you to rebel against my decisions. Wow! Just Woww!!
"What do you mean by that mother?"
She snickered "No offense, but you've always been this quiet mouse who never spoke up, raised her voice, and always obeyed every single thing without questions"
How can she say all these about me and still tell me not to take offense??? Unbelievable, because the offense was very much taken. I frowned. I wanted to say "Fuck you mother" but I still knew my boundaries, no matter how much 'I've changed' according to her. So, I settled with "I got a sick woman for a mother" instead. Which one was worse? Fuck you or sick? I think sick...but there was nothing much to do as the word had already come out before I could hold it in.
Reaching for my shoulders, she patted them, smiling "Go to school, my lovely daughter" Tchhh. No way I was going to leave this house without mom telling me the reason why Sikara needs to stay at home and not go to school. There must be something mom doesn't want to tell me, and that is what I want to find out. Fuck lateness.
"Sikara needs to go to school too" I shrugged out of her grasp.
"No, she doesn't," Dad said from behind me. When did he enter? I was sure mom and I's loud outbursts brought him here. I turned to look at Dad with a bewildered expression. The shock evident on my face was such that if anyone was to walk up to me now, asking me about my family, I'll say nothing. Because I know nothing about them.
The other family members —Samuel and Sikara, stood behind him. And if they could come down because of the both of us, I'm sure the neighbors could hear us too. Great! Just Great!!
"Why?" Samuel asked. Exactly!! Just the reason I want to know
Mom exhaled "She needs to heal"
"What? To heal?"
"Heal from what exactly?"