Whatever Yurei had envisioned for the after-party, this was definitely not it. Standing in the middle of a lively, noisy room filled with festival-goers, she found herself saddled with a rather unique problem—a completely drunk Soi Fan clinging to her arm on one side, and an equally intoxicated Yoruichi draped lazily over her shoulder on the other.
Rukia, standing nearby with a cup of tea in her hands, couldn't hold back her laughter. "Yurei, this is an amazing sight! I've never seen Captain Soi Fan like this! And Yoruichi-san, too? This is priceless!"
Yurei, however, was far from amused. "You think this is funny?" she muttered, her tone filled with equal parts exasperation and disbelief. "Do you know how heavy they both are?!"
Soi Fan, her usual stern composure nowhere to be found, looked up at Yurei with a lopsided grin. "Yurei… Yureiiii…" she slurred, tugging weakly on Yurei's sleeve. "You're always so… so graceful… I'm proud of you…"
Yoruichi let out a boisterous laugh, her golden eyes half-lidded as she leaned more heavily against Yurei. "Soi Fan, don't hog her! She's my student, too, you know! Yurei~" She poked Yurei's cheek playfully. "You've got such soft skin. What's your secret?"
Yurei's face burned with embarrassment as she struggled to support the weight of the two women. "This is not what I signed up for," she muttered under her breath.
Rukia was practically doubled over now, her laughter echoing through the night. "This… this is the best thing I've seen all week! I mean, Captain Soi Fan, the stoic and composed leader of the Second Division, reduced to… this? And Yoruichi-san acting like a clingy cat? You're like a walking comedy routine!"
Ichigo, standing next to Rukia, scratched the back of his head awkwardly, trying—and failing—not to grin. "Uh… Yurei, do you need help? Because it looks like they might pull you to the ground at any moment."
Yurei shot him a glare that could have melted steel. "Yes, I need help. Unless you want me to drop them both right here, right now."
"I don't know…" Rukia teased, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "This might make for a great memory."
Yoruichi giggled, clearly having the time of her life. "Come on, Yurei, lighten up! We're celebrating! You're way too serious for your own good…" She trailed off into a soft chuckle, her head resting against Yurei's shoulder.
Soi Fan, meanwhile, seemed to have shifted gears entirely. "Yurei… Yurei, I… I want you to know…" She hiccuped, her cheeks flushed a deep red. "You're the best lieutenant… no, the best student… anyone could ask for. I'm so… so proud of you…"
Yurei's face softened slightly at Soi Fan's heartfelt, albeit drunken, confession. "Thank you, Soi Fan," she said quietly, her tone gentler.
But Yoruichi wasn't about to let the moment go uninterrupted. "Hey, hey! Don't get all mushy on me! Yurei, you're mine too, you know! My first student, my favorite—"
"You've only had one student, Yoruichi," Yurei interrupted flatly.
"Exactly!" Yoruichi grinned.
Ichigo finally stepped forward, shaking his head. "Alright, alright, let me help." He moved to take Soi Fan off Yurei's arm, but as soon as he reached for her, Soi Fan swatted his hand away.
"Don't touch me!" she snapped, though her words were slurred. "I don't need your help! Yurei can handle it!"
Yoruichi cackled. "See? She's fine, Ichigo. Back off, kid."
Yurei sighed heavily, looking up at the night sky as if praying for some sort of divine intervention. "This is my life now," she muttered.
Rukia finally took pity on her, stepping forward and patting Yurei on the back. "Come on, Yurei. Let's get them back to their rooms before they embarrass themselves any more than they already have."
"And how exactly am I supposed to do that?" Yurei asked, raising an eyebrow.
"With our help, of course," Rukia said cheerfully, grabbing Yoruichi by the arm and trying to pull her away.
"Good luck with that," Ichigo muttered, earning a glare from Rukia.
After several minutes of struggle, negotiation, and near-mishaps, the group had made absolutely no progress. Yoruichi and Soi Fan, despite being completely drunk, were still far too strong and stubborn to cooperate.
"This is impossible," Yurei muttered, sighing heavily as she tried—and failed—to pry Yoruichi's arm off her waist while also fending off Soi Fan, who was clinging to her other side like a lifeline.
"Should we just… leave?" Ichigo asked hesitantly, glancing at Rukia, who looked equally torn between laughing and escaping the chaos.
"If either of you leaves," Yurei growled, shooting the two of them a withering glare, "I'm going to use my Bankai. I swear it."
Ichigo took an instinctive step back, raising his hands in defense. "Okay, okay, no need to go that far! Geez…"
Rukia smirked, clearly enjoying herself far too much. "Why don't you just carry those two to your room, Yurei? Surely someone like you is strong enough to handle that, right?"
Yurei arched an eyebrow at her. "You think I can carry one of them? Yet two at the same time? Not to be offensive or anything, but they're pretty… heavy."
"Ehhhh? Yureiiiii~?" Soi Fan slurred, her voice muffled as she buried her face against Yurei's shoulder. Her usually sharp, commanding tone was nowhere to be found. "What do you meannnn by thatttt? Are you saying I'm—hic—fat?"
Yoruichi, who was leaning lazily against Yurei's other side, suddenly burst into laughter, her golden eyes gleaming with amusement. "Oh-ho-ho, Soi Fan, did you hear that? Yurei just called you heavy!" She grinned wickedly and poked Soi Fan in the side. "Guess all that discipline doesn't apply to your diet, huh?"
Soi Fan's head snapped up, her drunken stupor briefly forgotten as she glared at Yoruichi. "I'll have you know I'm perfectly in shape! Yurei didn't mean it like that!" She turned to Yurei with a wobbly pout. "Right? Tell her, Yurei!"
Yurei blinked, her expression caught somewhere between exhaustion and disbelief. "I… That's not what I meant—"
"Oh, so you did call her heavy!" Yoruichi interjected, her grin widening as she leaned more heavily on Yurei. "Tsk, tsk. Such a cruel lieutenant."
"Don't twist my words, Yoruichi!" Yurei snapped, trying in vain to shake them both off. "And can you two stop using me as your personal pillow?!"
"I'm not a pillow," Soi Fan mumbled, her voice muffled again as she tightened her hold on Yurei's arm. "But… you're comfy…"
Rukia snorted, clearly struggling to contain her laughter. "You're doomed, Yurei. Completely doomed."
"No kidding," Ichigo muttered, crossing his arms as he watched the spectacle. "Honestly, I don't know whether to feel sorry for you or impressed."
"Neither," Yurei replied through gritted teeth. She glanced down at Soi Fan, who was now half-asleep against her arm, and then at Yoruichi, who was grinning like a cat who had just caught a mouse. "I don't suppose either of you would consider letting go so I can actually breathe?"
"Hmm… nope," Yoruichi said cheerfully, her arm tightening around Yurei's waist.
"Nope," Soi Fan echoed, nuzzling closer.
Yurei groaned, her patience wearing dangerously thin. "Rukia. Ichigo. Do something before I actually make good on my Bankai threat."
Rukia waved her hand dismissively, a sly smile on her face. "You'll figure it out. This is your punishment for being so composed and perfect all the time. Consider it karma."
Yoruichi giggled at that, her golden eyes sparkling. "Exactly. You're too uptight, Yurei. This is good for you. Builds character."
Ichigo sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, I'd help, but honestly, I don't think I'd survive trying to pull either of them off you."
"Coward," Yurei muttered, glaring at him.
"I'm not wrong," he shot back.
Soi Fan, meanwhile, stirred slightly, her head lifting just enough to glance up at Yurei. "Yurei… you wouldn't actually use Bankai on us, right?"
Yoruichi burst out laughing again, throwing her head back. "Oh, she's serious, Soi Fan. Don't underestimate her. Our little Yurei has quite the bite when she's pushed too far."
Yurei sighed, her shoulders sagging in defeat. "I give up. This is my life now. I'm just going to accept it."
The room erupted in laughter at her expense, with Rukia doubling over, Ichigo shaking his head with a grin, and Yoruichi teasing her endlessly. Even Soi Fan managed a small, sleepy chuckle, though she still refused to let go.
As the chaos finally began to die down, Yurei couldn't help but let out a small, reluctant laugh of her own. "You're all impossible," she muttered, though there was no real malice in her tone.
Deep down, she knew she'd remember this night for a long time—even if it was one she'd never fully live down.
At last, after a grueling team effort involving some less-than-coordinated maneuvering, Yurei, Rukia, and Ichigo managed to wrestle both Yoruichi and Soi Fan onto Yurei's bed. The two drunken women had put up a surprising amount of resistance even in their inebriated state, but now they lay sprawled across the bed, snoring softly and completely oblivious to the trouble they had caused.
"Well, that was…" Rukia began, pausing to catch her breath as she leaned against the wall for support. "That was something."
"Never again," Ichigo muttered, rubbing the back of his neck as he straightened up. "Don't ever let them drink again, Lieutenant Yurei. Seriously." His tone was laced with exhaustion and a hint of pleading.
"You don't need to tell me twice," Yurei replied, crossing her arms and glaring at the two sleeping women. "Next time they even think about drinking, I'm cutting the bottle into a million pieces. No—forget that. I'll evaporate the liquid before it even touches a glass."
Rukia, still catching her breath, glanced at her with a raised eyebrow. "You… you can actually do that?"
"I don't know," Yurei admitted with a shrug. "But if it comes down to it, I'll figure it out. Consider it part of my training."
Ichigo let out a short laugh, shaking his head. "That's some next-level dedication to avoiding chaos."
"Dedication?" Yurei snorted. "This is survival, Kurosaki. You weren't the one getting yanked back and forth like a human tug-of-war rope for the past half hour."
Rukia giggled, covering her mouth as she glanced at Yoruichi and Soi Fan. "Well, to be fair, they did seem pretty attached to you."
Yurei shot her a withering glare. "Don't even start, Rukia."
Ichigo smirked, his exhaustion fading slightly as he joined in on the teasing. "Yeah, Lieutenant. You're pretty popular, huh? Must be tough being the center of attention."
"Both of you, out," Yurei said flatly, pointing to the door.
Rukia and Ichigo exchanged amused glances before shrugging and heading for the exit.
"Good luck, Yurei," Rukia said with a sly grin as she stepped out. "You're going to need it."
"Yeah, try not to get dragged into any more trouble tonight," Ichigo added with a chuckle. "But if you do, at least it won't be our problem."
"Out!" Yurei called after them, shaking her head as the door clicked shut behind them.
She turned back to the bed, her gaze softening slightly as she looked at the two women sprawled across it. Despite all the chaos they had caused, there was a certain peace to the way they slept now, their usually serious expressions replaced by unguarded, almost childlike serenity.
Sighing, Yurei grabbed a blanket and draped it over them. "You two are more trouble than you're worth sometimes," she muttered, though there was a faint smile on her lips.
She straightened up, brushing a stray strand of silver hair out of her face. "But I guess it's not the worst thing in the world to have people who care about you."
With that, Yurei dimmed the lights and left the room, her mind already drifting to the next day and whatever new challenges it might bring. One thing was certain, though—this night was going to make for an interesting story later on.