"What a load of bullshit."
I cracked my knuckles in front of me and started typing.
[Author what the hell is this?! The story started off so well, and now its just a load of bullshit! I could let the tropey plot slide, but everything else is trash! In what world does three kidnapping events happen in one year?! Not to mention, now gates have opened in the world and the 'Demon King' is starting his attack? This is terrible. You should go back to how it was in the start. Mostly, dialogue and slice of life. You aren't cut out to write an action novel. Dropped.]
"fuuuuuu"
I sighed.Â
This wasn't the first time I've done something like this. In fact, I've done it so many times its become almost a routine for me. Pick a novel I know is going to be bad, get mad when it turns out to be bad, and review bomb the shit out of it. It was almost like an addiction at this point.Â
However, this novel was particularly bad. It was one of those where a nobody on Earth dies randomly, then gets reincarnated into a novel as a villain. They say to themselves: 'I shouldn't mess with the original plot too much, and I definitely shouldn't get involved with the main cast of characters!'. Then they proceed to change the course of the whole story, becomes best friends with the main character and starts to create a harem out of the main cast of heroines.
Yeah, one of those ones.
Except this novel had no redeeming qualities at all! The characters were bland, the fan-service was the most detailed part of the novel and the major events were so cliché I had to re-read a few chapters just to make sure I was seeing them right.
But, whatever! I don't know what I was expecting in the first place.
As I clicked off the novel and started looking around the home page for something else to read, my laptop dinged and a small notification popped up in the bottom right of my screen.
[You have 1 message from: The_Best_Writer_1]
Ah, The_Best_Writer_1. He was the one who wrote that shitty novel I just review bombed.Â
I laughed inwardly, I wonder what kind of things this guy will say.
I clicked on the notification.Â
It was short, and to the point.
[You wouldn't say that to my face, bitch.]
Huh?
Fuck this guy!Â
"Of course I would puss-"
*Ding* *Ding* *Ding*Â
Before I could finish my response my doorbell started to ring.
Closing my laptop, I stood up and peered through the peephole in the door.
Standing there was a man, clad in a black suit, smiling ever so slightly. He looked normal, yet there was something off-putting about him. Something that told me nothing good would ever come out of talking to him.
I slowly backed away from the peephole, back to my laptop. Hopefully he would leave if I just didn't answer the door.
I opened my laptop, trying to take my mind off the man standing at my door.
*Ding* *Ding* *Ding*Â
The doorbell rung again.
Would this fucker just leave already?!
*Ding* *Ding* *Ding*Â
Again?!Â
*Bang* *Bang* *Bang*
This time he tried banging on my door.
Seriously! If I wanted to talk to you I would've when you rang the doorbell!
"Fuck"
I reached into my pocket and grabbed my phone, hurriedly dialing 911.Â
Normally, I wouldn't resort to such measures, but the unsettling feeling inside of me kept growing, like I knew something bad was about to happen.
"911 what's your emergency?"
"There some crazy gu-"
Mid-sentence I stopped.
My body wouldn't respond to my commands.
I couldn't talk or move at all.Â
I was paralyzed.
My eyes shot to the door. Whatever was going on had to be the work of that man.
Suddenly, the door opened, somehow completely ignoring the locks.
Almost like they never existed in the first place.
With his hands behind his back, the man in the suit strutted in.Â
"How unfortunate that we have to meet like this"
The man said as he plucked the phone out of my hand and hung up the emergency call.
"You know, I waited for you a long time at the door."
"But you didn't answer, so I had force my way in."
The man grabbed the chair that was in front of me and sat in it.
"We've meet before... Do you not remember me?"
"Or not met, but we've spoken before."
He stared at me, seemingly forgetting that I couldn't move.
"I'm The_Best_Writer_1."
If I could move my body my eyes would've popped out my head.
"I know a lot about you... You've left 574 reviews on web-novel. 573 of which were one stars. You're notorious for review bombing novels. Stories that writers pour their heart into. Stories that are more real than you can ever imagine."
His face darkened as he continued.
"You're always giving advice. Change this, change that. Like you're the perfect writer, like you represent what everyone wants to read."
He stood up.
"So I'll give you a chance. You be apart of my story. You put on the performance! Give me a great performance and you'll be rewarded handsomely! Give me a one-star performance and you will..."
He started laughing manically out of nowhere.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
He snapped his fingers and disappeared.Â
"Haaaa Haaaaa Haaaaa"
Finally I could move my body freely again.
What was he talking about?!
Be apart of his story?!
What in the fuck?
That fucker was actually insane.Â
"Fuuuuuu"
With one deep exhale I finally calmed myself down enough to think rationally.
Before I could fully gather myself my laptop rang out.
*Bing*
[You have 1 message from: The_Best_Writer_1]
My heart started to beat faster as I hovered over the notification, debating whether to click it.
"Fuck it"
Clicking on it showed another short, concise message.
[Remember all of those things you said about my novel. Show me something great.]
As soon as those words registered in my brain, a burning pain seared through my chest.
"AHHGHHHHH"
It was a pain like nothing I've ever felt before. The kind where death is the more preferred option.
"ARGHHHHHH"
The pain traveled throughout my whole body, not stopping in any one place.
It lasted for what felt like an eternity before my world faded to black.
[...]
"I've always wondered what it feels like."
"To what?"
"Have your soul transferred."Â
"I mean, you just saw the guy"
"Yeah"Â
"Shut up you two. Have we all picked our contestants?"
"Yes."
"Yep"
"Alright, lets start. Shall we?"