Chapter 36 - The Politics

Ten years ago...

"I have a job for you..." said a voice in her earpiece. "There's a bunch of Tickers in the Slums. Thirteen of them. I want you to investigate them all."

A girl in an Ant-like costume sneaks into the skylight of a strange compound. She crawls on the walls and climbs into a hatch similarly to an ant, leading herself into a dark hallway. She smells the area well and crawls around the walls.

"PUTANG INA MO!!!" A man could be heard beating someone whimpering.

The girl is revealed to be a younger version of Myrmex.

"TUMAHIMIK KA!!!" 

*SLAM!!!*

Some blood drools from a crying woman. Several women are seen tied-up, beaten, and these men may have done something terrible to them. She smelled their scents thru the airstreams and realized something...

"Human traffickers... rapists... Sheesh... This is kinda out there in my job description..." she thought. "I wish Mr. Beastark was still alive to see this..."

"GODDAMN IT!!!"

Everyone goes quiet.

"I can't believe I'm part Spanish!" yelled Prometheus, walking in thru a portal.

The Reaper whispers. "(Pro, please. You don't have to define yourself according to your own race. And quit shouting.)"

"Dude. I'm practically a colonizer! I'm a complete failure! My Dad was right about me!" he sobbed. "I ahahahaham gay!"

"(Pro. You ARE a colonizer. That's your literal job description.)"

"But, I'm a Filipino!"

"(Prometheus. It's the mid-21st Century in your world. According to EVERYTHING you've told me, the colored people HAVE BECOME colonizers! Colored Supremacy is APPARENTLY A THING... Ahem... Sorry...)"

"Nuh-uh!"

"(Yuh-huh! Now, please listen-! Someone else is here... Two people...)"

"Yeah. It's the guy pointing a gun at our heads..." said Prometheus.

"What-?" The Reaper grabs the gun, making the man scream in the distance. Guns can be heard being shot only for him to scream as bones could be heard snapping and breaking... Then... silence...

Myrmex gulps, realizing that there's company. "(Ew. One of them didn't take a shower... *SNIFF*... Huh... Smells like they know I'm here...)" She begins crawling into the darkness.

*RATATATATTATATA!!!*

Several men, Filipinos, strangely enough, transform into Aswangs and shoot at the Reaper.

The Reaper blasts flames at them and burns most of them alive before pouncing at one and beating him to death. The Reaper then went to the next one and decapitates him.

Prometheus sighs. "Aw, man! My shoes are reversed! C'mon!" Prometheus sighs and casually takes off his shoes, removing some sand in it by slamming it in the wall before wearing them again. He ties his shoes. 

"QUIET DOWN!!!" yelled the Reaper

One Aswang pounces at him only for Prometheus to yell "JUST A SECOND, PLEASE!!!" and grab his jaw only to crush it, killing him.

The Reaper takes out his scythe and slams it into the chest of an Aswang before tearing him vertically in half. The Reaper then burns all of them alive one by one. One Aswang pounces form behind. He swiftly spins and decapitates him. Another Aswang pounces from behind and the Reaper kicks him down and stabs his neck, killing him. One Aswang manages to pin him to the wall. Several more Aswangs charge and grab onto him as the Reaper begins charging up and yells, "HEATWAVE!!!" then blasting a massive wave of fire that melts their skins, killing all of them.

Myrmex, who is nearby, even says, "(Ow! Hot, hot, hot, hot-!!!)"

The Reaper growls.

Prometheus is revealed to have protected the women thru a bubble shield. "You could've burned the women."

"Yeah. But I knew you had it," said the Reaper.

"That technique's too dangerous. You could've hurt someone."

The Reaper gets annoyed. He then jostles on Prometheus' shoulder.

Prometheus sighs and facepalms. "Right... Let's get these women to -..."

"NO!!!" Myrmex lands before Prometheus, then jumping and dropkicking him, but he dodges with relative ease.

Myrmex throws punches left and right only for Prometheus to dodge all of her attacks, yawning evening.

"Wait... Aren't you Mechaman's kid? That guy was such a nerd!"

"He died for this universe! TAKE THAT BACK, VILLAIN!!!" yelled Myrmex as she throws another punch only for the Reaper to place a blade near her neck.

"Back off, lady," said the Reaper. "He may be a pain in the ass, but he's my master. You one of these heathens, too?"

Myrmex frowns. "Why don't you find out?"

Prometheus laughs. "Yeah! Sure! Fight her! This'll be fun!"

Myrmex punches at him but the Reaper dodges and immediately kicks her down to the ground.

Myrmex stands right back up and sends a flurry of strikes and punches only for the Reaper to block with relative ease and swipe her legs before knee-kicking her belly and catching her. She shakes in pain upon the impact.

"Not bad... But judging by your smell, you're a woman," said the Reaper. "Nice perfume. But it's for kids, so I'm guessing you're young."

Myrmex blushes, yelling, "I'M NOT A CHILD!!!" and sends a high kick, but the Reaper dodges, grabs the foot, and breaks it in half. "AH!!!" Myrmex falls to the ground with her leg broken.

Myrmex backs away, ready with a fighting stance only for the Reaper to pull off her mask.

The Reaper sighs. "Hm... I can't believe that you almost made me kill a kid," he angrily turns to Prometheus.

"Hey. I'm God's Avatar," said Prometheus.

"'Used to be.' That doesn't mean you act upon his will. Not anymore."

"Pfft..."

The Reaper takes off his mask, scaring her with his scarred face. "The name's Miguel Kojoji. He's my alter, Prometheus..."

"I'm not taking off my mask-..."

"No... I can smell you. It's cool," said Myrmex.

"Gross," said Prometheus.

"I have heightened sense of smell."

"Even grosser. Can you smell your Mom's period-...?"

The Reaper punches Prometheus' gut.

"That didn't hurt," smiled Prometheus.

"My Mom's dead," said Myrmex.

"Can you smell her from-?"

Myrmex slams her non-broken foot into Prometheus' face with a specialized high kick.

Prometheus, however, caught the foot in an instant, shocking her. "Hm..." smiled Prometheus. "Recruit her! She could be useful..." Prometheus heals her up and she falls to the ground.

The Reaper sighs. "You alone?"

"Yes..." she sighed.

"Where's your parents?"

"Dead. I live with my Uncle... He doesn't have any money right now. He's been between jobs here in New York. If you kill me now, you'll have a broken family in your-..."

"Come," said the Reaper, opening a portal.

"Where do you think I'm going?" she asked. "Frankly, your costume's the literal personification of death and he's a fucking creep."

"You wanna job to help your dying Uncle?" asked the Reaper.

"How'd you-?"

"I can give you that job..." said the Reaper. "We just need your help... With... a certain woman named Aurora Morningstar..."

Now...

Myrmex hugs the Reaper. "AND THAT'S HOW I MET MY DAD!!!" she smiled, adorably.

"Get the fuck off of me, twerp," growled the Reaper, looking away while in the hospital bed.

"Aw, shucks! Look at 'im blushing over there!" smiled Prometheus.

"Haha! ISH A BABY!!!" smiled Miguel.

"Miguel, don't make me come over there and feed you Gerard's spit again," said the Reaper.

"You're bluffing!" laughed Miguel.

"Nah, he caught me once," said Gerard. "He will absolutely do that."

"Right. Sorry, sir," Miguel bowed his head.

"Where's Prometheus...?" asked Anna.

"He's in another room. He's in a meeting with the United Nations..." said Miguel. "Says he's changing how... things work... That Prometheus over there, is a robot, right...?"

"Yep..." said the Reaper.

Meanwhile... in the United Nations' Hague...

The countries of the entire world, all 192 leaders, including the ones from Russia, North Korea, and several Anti-American nations appear before a giant screen with Prometheus.

"Okay... So! Hello! Turns out atheists were wrong! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!"

"YOU PROVE MY COUNTRY WRONG!!! MY RELIGION!!!" roared the Hindu Prime Minister, as everyone begins throwing insults at him.

"So... Robot me is with my family and everyone in the Hague is a fucking dumbass..." Prometheus snaps his fingers as his Disciples appear and prepare for attack with their different Usog abilities. "Dear United Nations of Main World. You will now be having a change of rule, here. The Philippines will now become the capital of your universe, as the Philippines is the capital of mine. Not really, it's New York HAHAHAHAHA!!! Ah... Rise, current President of the Philippines, President Fernando Narciso III, son of the former conservative Dictator Fernando Narciso Jr. and grandson of the first President, Emperor Fernando Narciso I. Rise."

The President rises.

"You come from the most powerful political dynasty in Philippine history. Narciso I was the most powerful General of the Philippines known for killing literally most of the Philippine heroes in history. He had betrayed the Philippines by offering it to the Americans. The next few Presidents were puppets to the American and Japanese colonizers. His son, Fernando Narcos II, or Junior whatever, became President due to his popularity with the state and his connections with the, what do you call this, oh yes, the CIA. This allowed for the Decontrol Program: The complete removal of the FOREX Program, causing the Philippines to become a neo-colonial slave to the Americans. The Americans soon lost control over him when he rebelled and became a Dictator of his own nation, becoming a tyrant out of irony where he would be destroyed by the Biloganos: A political party of liberals that overthrew your father. Then, this liberal leader, sadly, was mistaken, having been manipulated by the American leaders and technocrats, using their wealth and power to gain political control over the Philippines. Then, the most debated battle of last year: You versus Sandra Rodrick, an American mestizo and popular liberal. Rise, his rival who had lost the election."

She rises as well.

"Though, the Philippines had for so long existed as a multi-party system, your battle was indeed legendary. And guess what? I have decided to remove BOTH of you from power..." said Prometheus, as the entire court had an uproar. They yell, argue, and insult the Emperor.

"But-!" Prometheus held up his hand. "You do realize that I, myself, had signed the Imperial Magna Carta of Maharlica-152. I shall exist under the law. Every action I take is still liable.

I shall appoint you two as the first Consuls of the Philippines. Nononono... of Maharlica..."

The people are shocked, surprised, realizing that this strange new strategy is unheard of.

"Now. Both of you will pick one of the newer political parties. BUT I WARN YOU!!! The process to change a party is very, very meticulous. I had made a system so bureaucratically strong that you would HATE to exchange from one party to another, thus, NONE OF THAT SHIT NO MORE... GOT IT!?!? No more political butterflies."

The people mutter to each other.

"Second. Political Dynasties. Only up to two people from the same family outside 7 degrees of consanguinity can be both politicians. Third. Alter Dynasties. This is a new phenomenon in my worlds. You cannot have an Alter be a politician in the same country and in the same world. Fourth. The Branches. There shall be four.

First is the Executive branch. This consists of the Consulars and the Prime Minister, King, or yours truly. There shall be three persons ONLY in the Executive Branch. Second is the Judiciary. Each nation shall have the Supreme Court, but each world shall have something called the Summus Tribunal, or the Ultimate Court. Finally, the Legislative. Any nation can have different Legislative Branch, but we best recommend our version... The Maharlica-152 Legislative Branch is made up of the Supreme Prime Minister or Monarch and Supreme Consulars of each world meant to answer to me, the Maharlican Emperor, known as the Multiversal Lakan. I have two Summite Consulars for myself to control my power.

Fifth. Summite Consulars are voted by the people and for the people. I have no control over that.

Sixth. Vote-buying is bad. It is punishable with... severe consequences... and I get to decide what happens to you." He sneered.

"Seventh. The new political parties. Here we are. There shall be two. One is the Nationalist and the other is the Unioneers. The Nationalist Party is a party meant to empower each nation's individuality and to maintain the nation's culture and differences. The Unioneers is a party meant to empower the world's unity. Now, every election, there will only be TWO parties competing: Unioneer vs. Nationalist, which will determine the administration every four years. Each of the party shall have a sub-party: Conservative and Liberal. One Consular for each sub-party, and these Consulars shall work together for the power of the nation..."

"Question... Who drafted this exactly?" asked the current President of the Philippines.

"A friend of mine meant to combat the ideologies of Aurora Morningstar. Basille Sisa of Wonder World," said Prometheus.

"Unrelated question. Are the Hindu gods really fake?" asked one Hindu guy.

"No. They're real," said Prometheus. "I was an Avatar. I should know."

"But... You're the Avatar of the Christian God?" asked the Hindu guy.

"Yeah. False gods are a thing. Sorry! That was actually racist kinda... in my world. Um... The Ancients. Or... the Pantheon are indeed real. These guys... The Hindu gods... Uh... They actually serve the Christian God..."

"Not Brahma."

"He IS Brahma."

"NOT YAHWEH!?!?" asked the Pope.

"No. He's still Yahweh." 

"Adonai Elohim!?" asked the Israeli Prime Minister.

"STILL!!! YES!!! HE IS ONE GOD!!!"

"KAMI-SAMA!?!?" asked the Japanese Emperor.

Prometheus slams his head on the table. "YES!!!"

"SATAN!?!?" asked the random guy.

"What? Ew. No. He's established as one of the actual bad guys, here," said Prometheus.

"Damn it," said the random guy. "What about the Flying Spaghetti Monster?"

"Okay. Weirdly enough, yes."

"Ahura Mazda?"

"YES. SAME HIM-DARNED GUY!!!"

"Is God a woman?" asked a feminist.

"Sometimes..." said Prometheus.

Strangely enough, people are beginning to nod to each other and agree with each other's differences.

"Atheism?" asked an atheist scientist.

"You guys are wrong."

"But do we go to Hell for it? It says in the Bible-..."

"No! Jesus was saying that if you're already seeing God and you still DENY Him, THAT'S bad. But did you see him in this time?"

"We see him now!"

"Well... There you go!" smiled Prometheus.

"Huh... That makes sense..."

"How does the Multiverse work!?" asked a scientist named Neil.

"I uh... Have a couple of sacred inscriptions in my office. I can give it to you and you can learn," smiled Prometheus.

"YES!!!" smiled Neil.

"Yeah. But Lovecraft was technically right about alotta the gods, y'know. And Hawking was RIIIGHT there. So was Einstein and weirdly enough Schrodinger."

The people are beginning to agree with each other.

"Question!" yelled the Chinese President. "The West Philippine Sea-!"

"We are terraforming the Moon and dividing each territory equally in proportion for each country. Portal travel WILL BE available. So is Space Travel. So... If you guys want more raw materials, just go there."

"Mars-?" asked a guy named Elon.

"Terraformed."

"Jupiter? Saturn?"

"Moons terraformed and new mini-stars on the way."

"DAMN IT!!!" yelled a guy named Elon, there. "Could I at LEAST be a part of-!"

"Fine. Since I illegalized Twitter, that could be your new project," sighed Prometheus.

"YES!!!"

"What about Venus?" asked Neil.

"We're building a sky city above the toxic hot clouds," said Prometheus.

"Wait... What about Commun-?" asked a certain country's President.

"Okay. How about I give you and your people enough materials from the solar system and MAYBE the Alpha Centauri system if you work hard enough so that I could reintroduce some materials for you to expand your countries' power."

"But Communism?"

"No..." said Prometheus.

"Can we unite our countries at least?"

"You already have a country. Why make it bigger-?"

"Power."

"Well, you have a portion of space now." 

"Oooh!" smiled the certain country's President.

Everyone begins agreeing with each other.

"HEY!!!" yelled the Middle Eastern nation's Prime Minister. "WE STILL HATE EACH-!!!"

"God'll be maaaad..."

"ALLAH WON'T!!! ALLA-!!!"

"Let me stop you right there. Allah IS God."

"Quran?"

"Canon in its own way."

"Bible?"

"Same."

"Torah?"

"SAME."

"Shintoism?"

"Yes. They're STILL a thing. Just agree with each other and work together to achieve a utopia. Please. AND NO SPACE PIRATES!!! That has been a GODDAMNED problem for years."

"LAAAAAST question," said Narciso of the Philippine Consulars. "War?"

"No. Or I'll kill you."

"Last, last, last last, LASTEST question..." said Sandra of the Philippine Consulars. "How much resources is in this new... terraformed Solar System of yours?"

Prometheus smiles. "Enough for 20 trillion Human-..."

Everyone happily mutters to each other. 

"We'll take it," said Fernando. "Oh, yes! The drug problem-!"

"Drugs don't exist anymore." 

"How-?"

"I'm magic."

"Oh."

"And I have a legal alternative. It's this VR game that does a specialized kind of ASMR."

"What-?"

"Yeah. Just wear it. Trust me. It solved every drug problem in the world. ASMR dude..."

"What about the Splooge-?"

Prometheus then looks left and right. "Oh... Oh geez... Uh... Cutting out... KSSH!!! Uh... Wow... I uh... Aliens-!!!" Prometheus slams his laptop closed, sighing.

And that is the story of how Prometheus achieved world peace.

Prometheus is pushed by a nurse on a wheelchair, meeting with the group, whose jaws are all dropped. "What?"

"Y-... You just solved every world problem," said Miguel.

"Yeah. Been doing it for forty years... *cough!*"

"Why...?" asked Miguel.

"Pfft! Why not?" laughed Prometheus. "Plus... I uh... My Dad wanted me to be a lawyer. I couldn't be what he wanted. I could at least try to make the world a better place, y'know?"