Chereads / The Blood of the Aswangs / Chapter 5 - Face Man

Chapter 5 - Face Man

"Ugh... They've been gone for a while now..." said Anna. "I hope they're okay.""I found them," said one Athena clone. "They're nearby.""Oh, thank Go-... OH MY GOD!!!" yelled Anna, seeing Jedan, carrying Miguel's unconscious upper half and Lord, carrying Miguel's legs with all three being bloody all over."Yeah. I'm thinking we need a lot of band-aids."Later...Anna sews their wounds closed."Wait... You said Miguel's body recombined after the fight?" asked Anna."Yeah... It got separated again for some reason..." said Jedan.Happy Hornet activates his built-in flashlight to show his body."Athena," said Anna. "Patrol the area in case of more bears or mountain lions.""So, we're clearly in the Americas, right?" asked Jedan."Yes..." said Gerard. "This is my world, after all."Everyone turns to Gerard. "WHAT!?!?""What? This is my world.""EXCUSE YOU!?!?" asked Anna. "THIS is Post-Apocalypse World!? But it says on the file that the world is still at a primitive state.""Legends say that a thousand years ago, there was a war that broke out over ideological differences. It was the third one in its own series. A legendary war that ended with an attack that blew up the entire world leaving to a massive ice age for 400 years mutating the world's lands and turning most men now into primitive savages. We have civilized kingdoms nearby, however. I came from Nueva Yorca. Hero of the-...""So, you could've killed the Bear... You could've helped us out in this adventure... YOU COULDA AIDED THESE THREE WACKJOBS!?!?" said Anna, crossing her arms."Y-... Yes..." said Gerard."What the fuck, Gerard?""No one asked! Thought these guys had the hunting thing going!""NOOOO!!!" yelled Jedan, Anna, and Lord."Liver..." Miguel said softly."What's that, Miguel?" asked Anna."Liver... Balut... Heart... Either of the three, please...""Uhhhh..." said Anna, weirded out."Liver, balut, and heart is very yummy. Chug it into my torn-up tummy," he said while smiling, singsongy."Hey, Fred?" asked Anna. "Could you... like... uh... check that radar of yours if there are creatures nearby?"Fred rolls his eyes. "Fine... Hm... Real suspicious-lookin' bipedal creature up north.""Sussy baka... Imma sucka deez nutza waka waka..." smiled Miguel, asleep. "Biddy babiddy bibingka, bitch.""By jolly goodness..." said Happy. "I can feel that the creature has sentience. I believe it isn't a threat. I sense no danger in it.""Let's kill it!" smiled Jedan."Wait..." said Miguel, asleep. "Don't... come close..."Suddenly... Face Man appears..."Hello..." the face in his belly spoke, softly. "Ohoho. Hello. Please kill me...""Well, isn't that straightforward? Haha!" smiled Anna. "I'm Anna! These are my allies and-...""And whatever. Please just obliterate my body in the most painful and seething way possible. Just please murder the shit outta me. Tear me to pieces. Hang me up on a tree. Toaster bath me. Please.""Why...?" asked Anna. "We were hoping to ask you to not kill yourself, actually.""We agreed on that?" asked Jedan."Yeah, did we?" asked Chris."Killing people... bad..." said Miguel, asleep."Welp!" Anna claps her hands. "Hey, Miguel? Running out of words here...""No kill," said Miguel."Yeah. What he said," said Anna."Anna..." Miguel grabs Anna's face, making her turn red. "Anna... Tell the freak of nature that we won't kill him.""I just did, dude. Just did...""Alright. Bet, Anna. Balut, please. I'll be good wife to you. I promz..." smiled Miguel, as Anna sighs and facepalms."So... You won't kill me...?" asked Face Man."Yeah, no. We won't," said Anna.Suddenly, Face Man grabs Jedan's face and begins tear it off. Face Man begins yodeling hysterically and doing a Native American War Cry."AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" screamed Jedan. "WHAT THE FACK!?!?!? HE'S TEARING IT OFF!!! GET THIS FUCKWAD PSYCHO OFF OF ME!!!""LOLOLOALALLAAAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!!! HYAA!!! HYAAAAAAA!!! HYAAAA HYAA HYAHYAHYAHYAHYA!!! HYAAAAAAAA!!!"Happy Hornet then tackles him as he crashes into a tree.Gerard charges at him and points his katana at the Face Man's neck."Oh... Oh shit..." said Face Man. "YES!!! KILL ME!!!" He tries driving his neck toward the blade only for Gerard to pull away.Angered, Face Man slaps Gerard into a tree, causing Gerard to turn himself into gas to phase through the tree and avoid damage.Athena's clones hold Face Man down as Face Man shakes his head-like structure and shrieks like an animal.Anna uses strings from her body to hold him down. Jedan uses his hands to hold him down as well.Chris uses his body to pin him down.Happy Hornet also holds him down.Gerard also holds him down.Meanwhile, Fred just eats some deer meat in the background watching all this. "'Ey. I know this is a real bad time, but do we at least have any spices and/or condiments?"Miguel mutters while asleep. "Anyone watch MCU Phase 4? No one watches MCU Phase 4. Reminds me of the time Howard the Duck violated some lady's bestial sanctity. Can somebody gimme a fresh raw liver, heart, and/or fetus of literally any animal, please? Preferably poultry. If I was turned on, I'd go for mammalian."Fred scooches over away from Miguel, who is behind him."Please, someone kill me before I tear off somebody's face..." said Face Man."HAVE YOU TRIED NOT TEAR OFF PEOPLE'S FACES!?!?" asked Jedan, as his face regenerates completely.Face Man then yells like a wild man. "I'M GONNA TEAR YOUR FACE AND RAPE IT!!! BLYABLAGUYABLYABLYABLYABLYABLUBLUBLUBLADIBLA!!!""IMMA SNAP ITS NECK!!!" yelled Jedan."Don't do it!" yelled Anna."IMMA DO IT!!!""NO!!! HE CAN'T HELP IT!!!""CAN HELP HIM!!!!"*SNAP!!!*Face Man goes limp as Jedan's arm squeezes his neck and snaps it.The group lets go of his body.Anna, Jedan, and Lord are all traumatized by this."It had to be done..." said Gerard. "He's a heathen. A creature of the night. That was the only way to help-...""Hello," smiled Face Man.Everyone screams in horror.Face Man does a cartwheel and spins around the entire group. "LOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOO-!!!"Face Man pounces at Happy and begins tearing off his face."RUBBER LAUNCHER!!!" Jedan slams his face into Face Man, who dodges, causing Jedan to punch Happy's face instead. "Sorry, Haps!"Gerard tries decapitating Face Man but Face Man manages to grab his face and wrestles him to try and pull it off. Gerard turns into gas and phases through him as Lord appears and punches him with his fist while wearing rock gauntlets.Face Man then slaps Lord's face over and over again and yells, "BLOOLILOOLILOOLILOOLILOOLILOOLILOOLILOOLALALALALALALA!!! KYAHARHARHARHAR!!!" he cackled while scratching Lord's face over and over again.Jedan then tackles him and begins seeping his cells into Face Man's body. "It's Puppet Time, baby!"Face Man's mouths and eyes vomit him out and bites his head with his belly mouth to tear his head off."Face Man! Face Man! Face Man! Face Man! Face Man!" yelled Face Man. "I AM THE GOD OF FACES!!! CURSED BY THE GOD OF THIS LAND, DOOMER, TO HAVE MANY FACES!!!" he yelled. "I MUST STEAL FACES!!! MORE FACES!!! I NEED FACES!!! KILL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"Miguel, in his Aswang form, pounces at him and vomits flames into Face Man's head, burning his brain as he screeches in pain.Miguel grabs his head and blasts fire into its head.The face slowly turns into the face of a sweet old man, tearing up and crying. This old man had scars all over his face. He had something written on his face, "Chernobyl Project 12785..." The face begins crying, but smiling. He smiled sweetly, staring at Miguel with loving eyes. "Thank you..."The body falls over and burns to a crisp.Miguel screeches while raising his snout to the sky and ticks his wings out-loud.