VIOLET'S POV
" We should go for a swim at the river tomorrow," Silver is talking to me as I search for my calculus test book in my locker.
" I stole a can of beer from my Dad, we can duplicate it multiple times so we'd have enough alcohol for everyone that will be coming."
Her tone becomes teasing, " Jacob is coming, he says he misses you and—"
I shut my locker loud enough for her to shut up. He would have told me himself if he truly missed me.
Silver shakes her head as if trying not to be offended by what I did. " Wait, why did you guys even break up in the first place?"
I'm walking away, and she is following me, still talking non-stop. I've stopped listening since she said Jacob misses me.
My heartbeat becomes louder as I approach my classroom.
I hope Ethan is in school today. He often skips school and when he comes to school, he has a fresh set of injuries on his body. The sight of it always makes my heart break.
I wonder how he gets them. I want to know. I want to trace my fingers on his scars. I want to tell him he'd be okay. I want to stitch him up and treat his wounds. I want to be a part of his world. There are a lot of things I want from Ethan Reed before I'm dead.
As soon as I enter the classroom, Mr. Parker throws a glare my way but it immediately softens when he realizes it's me. Dad must have already informed the principal I'm not returning to school after today.
" Welcome, Miss Griffin, you can take your seat and turn your textbook to page 175." His smile doesn't reach his eyes.
Everyone's eyes are on me as I walk to my seat. Everyone except Ethan who is wearing a black hoodie and looking down at his textbook.
" Psst!" Jacob is waving at an empty seat with a smile on his stupid face.
I ignore him and sit in my usual spot in front of Ethan.
Jacob clenches his jaw in anger and I don't feel the slightest regret. I felt pity for all those I've cut out of my life except him. Although he was my boyfriend, I don't feel a single spark in my heart for him ever since he slept with another girl at a party and spoke badly about me to his friends.
" Hey, Purple." Ashton is sitting on the chair beside me. He is smiling at me like the old sun at dawn.
" Hey Greyton." I greet him with a chuckle.
He mouths some gibberish and winks at me before focusing back on Mr. Parker's teaching.
I nibble on my pencil as Mr. Parker teaches differentiation. I have no clue how to confess my feelings to anyone. Silver makes it so easy when she just walks up straight to a guy and tells him she likes him.
I look over at where she usually sits. Her seat is empty, and so is Austin's. He is her sixteenth boyfriend and I've caught them countless times in the bathroom stalls making babies.
My head nearly hits my desk when my pencil slips from under my jaw and falls to the ground.
" Careful Purple," Ashton says with a concerned expression on his face.
I wave him off like it's no big deal but I know if my head had hit the desk, I would have entered a coma. My body system is as fragile as a baby's when I haven't taken the morning medication I usually take after the first period.
I dive under my desk and search for my pencil just to see it next to Ethan's foot. It's behind his heel, so I cannot get it by one stretch. I sit back up and release a breath. My heart is tearing apart as I exhale.
I should ask him to help me pick up my pencil.
I'm suddenly shaking and blushing and going crazy inside just by the thought.
I take a sharp breath and turn to see him still looking at his textbook. I wonder if he is awake because I can't see his face.
He smells like all the scents of hope.
" Ethan." My lungs are constricting.
I see his body shake slightly when I call his name. He is awake but he doesn't look at me. He never looks at me.
" My pencil is next to your foot. Uh, can you help me get it?" I don't know why I'm shaking.
I feel the eyes of people looking at me like I'm committing an abomination. Someone whispers for me to stop talking to him.
Everyone says he is a monster. No one speaks to him because of what he did to Cody three years ago. Cody stayed in a coma for six months. I heard his face was completely disfigured, his bones were twisted and he was utterly paralyzed. It was all Cody's fault, he insulted Ethan publicly, poured his food over him, and said a lot of nasty things about Ethan's mother.
Ethan was walking away till Cody called him a coward. Ethan snapped and beat him up very badly.
Ethan doesn't respond to me. He keeps on staring at his textbook. His body is rigid now, he seems alert. I don't know if he's hearing me.
My hands are moving of it's own accord. I touch his shoulder and he flinches. He flinches because I touched him. He is shaking. He is no longer sitting down, he is breathing so loud I am panicking.
Everyone's attention is fixed on him.
" Ethan Reed, how dare you interrupt my teaching?!" Mr. Parker shouts at him.
Ethan's wide eyes look everywhere but at me. He looks mortified. What have I done, what have I done?
" Eth—"
He walks out of the classroom. Mr. Parker is shouting at him to come back but he doesn't return.
I'm immobile and unable to move. I touched him and he looked mortified.
Ashton touches my shoulder bringing me back to life. I almost slap his hand away from my shoulder.
He looks the least surprised.
" Don't hit yourself in the head about it, he is that way to everyone. Including me."
My heart is still racing very quickly and it remained that way till recess.
" I told you that you shouldn't talk to him," Vera says as she walks past me. " You are lucky he didn't punch you in the face."
My feet are rooted to the ground when I spot Ethan by his locker. I heave a sigh of relief; he is still here; I thought he'd leave the school after what happened.
Maybe he doesn't like it when people touch him. What if I had touched a fresh bruise on his body and it hurt a lot?
I should apologize. I will apologize.