"This here," Anko gestures at the giant fenced in forest, "is the Forest of Death. The second stage of the Chunin Exams."
"Why is it called the Forest of Death?" Someone asks.
"Glad you asked random gennin number 24! It's called that because it's a forest, and people die in it."
"Pfft! I'm not afraid of a forest!" Naruto shouts out.
A kunai whips past his face, lightly scratching him. Anko appears behind him and drapes herself over him.
"Ooh, a tough guy. Your type makes the loudest screams when they die." Naruto pales. "I can't wait!" Suddenly Anko whirls around to see female Orochimaru holding her kunai.
With her tongue.
"Your kunai." Orochimaru moves her tongue to hand it over.
"Thank you, but if you value your life never try to sneak up on me again."
"I couldn't help myself. I just get so excited when I see blood." That quiets everyone, they're suddenly worried about crossing paths with the blood happy Grass kunoichi.
"Ew. Gross." My voice breaks the silence. "Who knows where those kunai's have been and she put her tongue on it. Disgusting."
"Moving on!" Anko yells. "This is how the second exam is going to work. Each team will get a scroll. Either heaven or earth. You'll have 5 days to get to the center of the Forest of Death and enter the tower.
To get in you'll need both scrolls, so you'll have to confront other teams! Yay! Oh, also nothing is off limits so we need you to sign these forms. They're saying we aren't held responsible if you die." Anko passes out the forms. "When I call your team name, enter this booth. You'll hand in your forms and take a scroll."
"Sasuke. Observe the booth."
"Hn."
"Sakura. You watch the shinobi that have come out of the booth. See if you can spot a scroll."
"What are you going to do?" Sakura asks me.
"Me? I'm going to get a plan together, and maybe steal a scroll or two. Depends really."
I desperately need a plan. I have two main goals, survive and get a scroll. Survive first. Well, there really is no way I can affect whether Orochimaru shows up or not. No point in trying to plan around that. That will have to be done spur of the moment.
Second goal is doable though. Get a scroll? Easy. My team is going to be fine, we just need to know which teams have which scroll. Sasuke and Sakura might narrow down our search.
Other options to get scrolls: steal one from the booth. Possible, but needs refinement once I enter the booth. I can work with that. If I can I'll grab one scroll each, then I will look like the person who made them counted one short. Easy. Maybe. We will find out.
"Konoha Team 7!" Here we go.
"Sasuke, Sakura, I have an idea. But I need the least amount of attention on me as possible."
"We can work with that!" Sakura assures me. Sasuke nods in agreement.
We enter the booth. There's a table with a stack of papers on one side, and a white scroll pile and a blue scroll pile. Game time. I loosen the fasteners on my travel pack. I get strings on one of each scroll. Now we wait. There is only one chunin in the booth overseeing us. Sasuke walks right up to him and slams his form onto the table. The chunin reflexively twitches.
"I have some questions about the wording. Anything goes, does that include bloodline theft?" Whipping out the big guns, eh Sasuke?
It works, the chunin goes stark white. Chance! I move the scrolls into my pack. Easy. The poor chunin is floundering around, trying to assure the last Uchiha that the form is not meant to promote bloodline theft. After letting him sweat a few more seconds, Sasuke backs off.
"Fine. Just give us a damn scroll already." The chunin hands Sasuke a heaven scroll. He puts it in his pack. We exit the booth.
"Success." Sasuke and Sakura grin. "That was really mean Sasuke. I approve."
We wait for the other groups to get their scrolls.
"Anko! We're 2 scrolls short! We need another heaven and earth scroll."
"What the hell dipshit? You made them, can't you count?"
"I... well... I must have been given the wrong numbers!" Smooth. Blame someone else.
"Fine! New Rule: the last two teams to go into the booth don't get a scroll because they were lazy."
"But that doesn't make sense. You called us off a list!" One of the shinobi who didn't get a scroll shouts.
"Don't care! Now, each team will enter through their own gate, as displayed by this map here. You have one hour to get to your gate. Wait there and listen for the bell, once you hear the bell the gate will open and the second exam will start!" We find our spot on the map and head to our gate.
Once we are alone I inform Sasuke and Sakura "I have both scrolls in my pack."
"I knew it! You're the reason they were two short!"
"Yep! It was easier than fighting a team. Now we can haul ass to the tower."
"I wanted to fight someone. This seems to easy, like we are cheating."
"Please Sasuke, we are shinobi. We don't do fair play. If you aren't cheating, you aren't trying!"
"This is why I won't play cards with you." Sasuke bluntly states.
"That is a horrible motto to live by Alvarcus."
"Well who asked you Sakura?"
"Don't start arguing now. I don't want to deal with that." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Sasuke the peacekeeper.
DING DONG
The gate opens.
I turn to my team, "Well, here goes nothing." We enter the forest.
...
We decide to head straight to the tower. It makes the most sense. Besides, we could end up dodging Orochimaru. Everything could work out in our favor. We might even set a record time at this pace!
"Contact left!" Sakura shouts.
The forest is being ripped to shreds by a wind jutsu. Orochimaru. We didn't escape him.
Reacting on instinct, I attach strings to the ground. The raging wind slams into me but I don't budge. I can't say the same for Sasuke and Sakura, they are blown a ways behind me, still in line of sight if I turn around. I can't do that though, because that would kill me. Orochimaru is standing on a tree, not 20 meters away from me. She's idly spinning a kunai on a finger.
We are so dead.
"Hello again, Alvarcus. I'd like to play with you, but I don't have the time. You see, I came for your teammate."
"You want Sasuke?"
"Yes."
"You'll have to go through me."
"I can arrange that." Orochimaru lazily licks her kunai.
"I don't suppose I could cash in on that debt you owe me and get you to leave us alone?" I know it is a shot in the dark, but maybe she'll agree.
"Hmm... it'll buy you 30 seconds. Interested still? It's not everyday I owe someone a favor. This would be a waste."
"I'll let you know what 30 seconds I want. Deal?" I ask. Thirty seconds is better than nothing.
"Kukukuku, very cunning. Saving the time for later when you might need it." Orochimaru grins. "I accept. Shout pause when you want your time to start."
"Thank you. This is where I run for my life. If you'll pardon the cursing, it is a habit."
"Go ahead, it makes the game all the more enjoyable, child."
With the pleasantries taken care of, Orochimaru throws the kunai at my heart. I send it back at double the speed. The smug bastard catches it.
"What's this? Is this the rumored magnet release? Remarkable, I've never seen it used this way before."
She throws the kunai back at me, double the speed I sent it to her. I barely catch it in time, and double the return speed again. There's no way I can catch her next throw, not if she ups the speed again.
"Wonderful! Is that a version of an automatic defense? Oh! You've distracted me, we can play catch later. I need to find Sasuke." Orochimaru vanishes into leaves.
"Sasuke! Sakura! The only chance we have is to work as a team! Get your asses over here!"
They explode out of their hiding spots.
"Sasuke. You observed her. Share."
"Lithe body. Good for flexibility and contortions. Theory supported by the tongue jutsu we saw earlier. Most likely a mid to long range fighter, not suited to close combat. She would need a weapon to augment her abilities at close range. I recommend taijutsu."
"Not yet. We don't know enough. We need more info. Defense for now. I'll handle projectiles. Sasuke if she engages mid or close range fireball her. Sakura, support us. I need you to watch out for jutsu targeted at us, especially genjutsu. Sasuke and I will be busy with our tasks. Can you do it?"
"Y-yes!" Sakura sounds terrified. I wonder how I am staying so calm. They don't even know what level of threat this is, I do. We can't win, we can only hope to survive.
"It's a good plan," Orochimaru calls out, "but what happens if I do this?"
Smoke fills the area. She summoned two giant snakes.
"Well fuck me. Sasuke take the brown! I'll delay the green, I can't kill it alone. Sakura back Sasuke up! When you two are done, come save me."
We split up, which is probably a bad idea. At least Sasuke has Sakura with him.
"Alright. Giant snake. Time to get your attention."
I draw a kunai out of my pack. I start swinging it around my body with a chakra string. Faster and faster it spins, I'm letting the centripetal force climb higher and higher. Once the kunai becomes a blur, I release it. It flies true and punches straight through the snake's left eye. Half blind it reels in pain, thrashing around the forest. I draw another kunai and start winding up. I let it fly. I missed, the kunai bounces harmlessly off the snake's skin.
The snake turns towards me.
"Oh shit. This plan of Alvarcus being the snake bait sounded much better in my head."
The snake lunges, intent on eating me whole. I shoot chakra strings out of my back and latch them onto a nearby tree. I pull myself to safety.
"That was way too close." Using the same method I start yanking myself around the forest, dodging and doing crazy stunts to stay out of the massive snake's jaws. Half the time I don't even touch the ground. I change direction mid air, almost like I am flying. Kakashi is getting a fruit basket if I survive, this is a damn good idea.