Stepping through the portal was becoming a bad habit, but when you live at the center of the universe with the goddess of chaos, an owl who never blinks, and a squirrel bard with too much energy, bad habits are inevitable.
The moment my boots hit the ground, the heat hit me like a sledgehammer.
"Oh great," I muttered, shielding my eyes as I squinted at the horizon. "Desert. Lots and lots of desert."
Stretching before me was an endless expanse of golden sand, the sun blazing above like it was out for revenge. In the distance, massive pyramids loomed, their ancient silhouettes both awe-inspiring and foreboding.
"Welcome to ancient Egypt!" Ratatoskr chirped from my shoulder, his tiny paws clapping together. "Land of pharaohs, pyramids, and conveniently placed death traps!"
"Why is it always ancient?" I grumbled, adjusting my coat—not exactly desert-friendly attire.
Eris hopped through the portal after me, looking entirely unfazed by the sweltering heat. "Oooh, I like this place," she said, grinning as she spun in a slow circle. "It feels so… chaotic. All this sand? Perfect for mischief."
"Behave," I said sharply, pointing at her.
The owl landed gracefully on my other shoulder, completely unbothered as always. "We are not here to admire the sands. The anomaly lies within this time."
"Right, the anomaly," I muttered, already feeling the first beads of sweat forming. "What are we looking for?"
The owl's voice resonated calmly in my head. "A fracture in the timeline. The pharaoh who was meant to unite this kingdom has vanished. Without him, chaos will spread, and the timeline will collapse."
"Oh, great," I said, scanning the desert. "Missing king. That sounds totally doable."
"Probably kidnapped," Ratatoskr said, hopping down to scurry across the sand. "Or eaten by a giant scarab beetle. Or cursed. Egypt loves its curses."
Eris gasped dramatically. "Curses! I love curses."
"Of course you do," I muttered. "Alright team, let's find this pharaoh, fix the timeline, and… not die of heatstroke while we're at it."
The journey across the sands was a special kind of miserable. The heat was relentless, the sand got everywhere, and Ratatoskr kept humming some kind of desert tune that made me want to throw him into a dune.
"Tell me again how the World Tree connects to this place," I said, trudging forward.
The owl's feathers ruffled. "Every reality and era is woven into the roots. Egypt holds a strong thread in history's tapestry. Its pharaohs were destined to shape civilizations."
"Well, their 'destiny' just ran off the rails," I muttered.
As we crested a dune, the sight nearly made me stop breathing.
A massive city sprawled before us—Thebes, glittering under the sun like a jewel carved into the sands. Stone temples rose in tribute to gods I barely remembered, their obelisks towering high into the sky. At the center of it all, the grand palace stood proudly… except something was wrong.
"Is it just me, or does that palace look empty?" Eris said, pointing.
She wasn't wrong. The streets looked far too quiet, like a city that had suddenly lost its purpose. And over the palace, a dark shimmer hung in the air, like a glitch frozen in time.
"The fracture," the owl said softly. "It is here."
"Wonderful," I said, cracking my knuckles. "Alright team, let's find our missing pharaoh and debug this timeline."
Ratatoskr grinned, sprinting ahead. "Adventure time!"
Eris followed, twirling a golden dagger that she had definitely not been carrying earlier. "This is going to be fun."
I sighed, shaking my head as I trudged toward the city.
Note to self: Next time, pack sunscreen before jumping into an ancient desert.
To be continued…