The air was dead in the Chamber of Balance, saving for the storming winds of the last trial. Everything about Aeron stilled in a wait-and-see mood; even the room seemed almost to know what would transpire. Before him now, at last, stood Aeryn, her face dark with the weight of the words she must say.
The Trial of Spirit differs somewhat from any of the others you have faced," Aeryn said, unusually somber. "It isn't a trial against body or element; it's of the mind and soul, and it will question your very core-what you base yourself on.
She spoke, and he listened, not budging an inch. When fierce attempts at fire, ice, water, and air finally taught him to look inside himself and into the Aether, this-this was somehow different. Some kind of spiritual test? He had no idea what that would entail.
"The spirit is the most important part of everything," Aeryn said, narrowing her eyes at him.
"It's the energy through which all living things are connected; the power that unites the universe. It surrounds us, penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together. You can't see or touch it, but it is. It is what gives you life. The test in this trial will bring you in front of yourself-fears, wishes, and nature. Then, your weaknesses will be shown: those parts of yourself you cannot hide, not even to yourself. Aeron nodded, his gut churning in preparation. His journey so far had been to outwards challenges: fire, water, air, and earth. But this… this was not the same. If it was about his soul, his true self, what could he really expect?
His words had caught in his throat as the earth he had been standing on heaved violently, and a numbing cold swept through his body, as if he was being pulled into some sort of great vortex, boundless.
The air started humming around him, carrying a sensation he had never felt before: not as mighty as at the whims of nature, softer and gentler, yet with that deep sound standing the hairs on the back of his neck on end.
Aeryn stepped back, her form faded with the shadows. "You are never to face that trial alone. The Trial of Spirit will bring forth visions of your past, your future, and your innermost desires. Do not lose yourself in them.
Before Aeron, the air wavered, and reality wrinkled in some grotesque ways. The ground below him disappeared, and under him yawned an endless chasm of churning pure darkness. He could feel his heartbeat quicken; the void was opening its maw wider, pulling him in. He felt weightless, floating in a sea of nothingness.
Then one distinctly heard a soft, strange, yet unmistakable voice.
"Aeron," the voice whispered, "do you really know who you are?
Aeron's eyes snapped open, his heart racing. That voice. his voice, yet so different from his own, sounded darker, older, and scary.
"Who are you?" Aeron asked, really trying to sound in control, though his voice shook a little. "You don't know who I am?" he teased, his voice clearer with every second that passed. "I am you, Aeron. I am that part of you that you ignore. The part you hide deep in your mind."
Aeron squinted around him, peering against a focus of empty space. "What do you want?
"Remember," it said, "how it really was. Remember your choices, the mistakes you have lived with in an attempt to cover them. Aeron, you cannot run from me; you will never run from yourself."
The darkness changed, and in a moment his head was filled with memories: the faces of those that were gone, the places he knew, the choices he'd made, which in turn had made him what he was.
He saw himself older, yet much younger, too, alone in some small village, wishing himself away from such an ordinary life.
First, he endures his first real loss: his mother, taken away from him when he is still but a child. And then in came a heavy sadness, a hollow pain that would never really go away. Then, the betrayal-people who were his friends and trusted turned against him in hopes of gaining power. The fear and anger led him to abandon his beliefs to survive.
The blood of those who had once been his close friends stained his hands.
"No… Whispered Aeron, shaking his head. "This is not reality."
But the images coalesced, sharpening and strengthening. The voice—his darker, twisted self—was softly, almost sadly laughing.
"You think you can run away from your past, Aeron? Think you can run from the dark inside? I am the truth you will wish you could not see. I am your guilt, your anger, your regret."
The darkness was everywhere; it suffocated him. The memories of his failures and the worst times were strong enough. He tried to block them and fight with them, but the harder he fought, the stronger the takeover was with the dark.
Then, in a moment, everything altered. A light-a tiny, flickering flame-appeared against the desolate background some distance away. It was slight, but it was real. Aeron found he must get nearer to it and began to walk toward it. As he drew closer, the voice ceased, replaced by something softer and far more recognizable.
"Forget about it, Aeron."
The voice was softly warm, comforting. Neither was it the voice from the past, nor the twisted, mocking part of himself, but it was his mother's voice. Her words, so lovingly spoken, warmed him, took the darkness back.
"You can't change what's been," she added, "but you do have a choice in who you are now. You can choose to do better."
It was then that the well of emotion rose within Aeron for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, and he lightened up. The thoughts of misdeed, the guilt, and the anger of those many long years slowly started to reverse themselves for clarity of mind and new resolution.
"You are not defined by your failures, Aeron," his mother said gently, "you are defined by the choices you make now. Make good choices." And with that, the darkness shattered like glass. The desolate space around him vanished, and light took its place. Aeron blinked, and finally, when his vision cleared, he found himself once again inside the Chamber of Balance, all by himself. Aeryn was standing on the other side of the room, closely watching him. Her face was expressionless. "You have passed the Trial of Spirit," she said in that soft yet firm voice. "You faced your past, your fears, and your deepest darkness. But you chose to rise above it. That is what is important. In an instant, Aeron was still, the trial weighing in him; lighter his body, heavier his heart-he had never felt it so full. He had faced his biggest fears and his deepest pains and had chosen to let them all go. He spoke in a soft tone to himself rather than to Aeryn, "I understand now, what has happened to me is not what defines me; it is who I decide to be. Aeryn nodded, her face softening. "Yes, the trials are done. But for you, well. your journey's just starting.".