Loneliness
That's all I've felt my whole life.
I was abandoned by my parents when I was five. I was lost.
I didn't know what to do. No one helped me—maybe because I was just a helpless commoner.
I got some pitiful gazes, sure. But did anyone actually help me?
No.
I had to learn everything myself. I was bullied, even by those who were barely in a better position than me. But did they care?
No. They didn't.
When I was twelve, I found my light in this endless void. She was everything I could ever ask for.
She was beautiful—truly, she was. I thought that maybe, just maybe, I had finally found a reason to live.
A man can have hope, right?
I proposed to her on Valentine's Day, expecting rejection. But to my disbelief, she said yes.
I was the happiest man alive. I cried, I laughed, I swung my arms around and ran through the streets like a fool.
Then, when I turned fifteen, she gifted me a black and gold necklace. It was so beautiful that I couldn't stop holding it, couldn't stop kissing it for days.
I thought this was my life now—a life full of happiness and joy with this angel beside me.
But another event changed everything when I was sixteen.
She awakened her [Spell]. I was so happy that day.
Sadly, that happiness didn't last long.
Everyone admired her. Everyone in the slums.
Remember my bullies?
Even them. Their parents, their families. Everyone.
Of course, I was happy for her. Why wouldn't I be?
But I also knew that while a [Spell] could give immense power, it always came with a flaw.
The flaw could be anything—losing memories, losing emotions, suffering internal injuries with every use, and more.
Her flaw was Losing Emotions.
It could be both a curse and a blessing.
For example, losing hatred could make someone easy to manipulate, but it could also help them stay rational instead of rushing into battle out of anger.
Anyway, back to my angel.
I still had hope. Maybe she didn't lose something like love, right?
Right?
I really hoped. But deep down, I knew I was lying to myself, trying to reject the truth.
My angel started to fade away from me. Her gentle touch, the one I craved so much, no longer comforted me.
Her plump lips, the ones that once locked away all my insecurities…
Her eyes—oh God, those eyes.
Oceanic blue eyes that used to gaze at me so lovingly.
But they no longer looked at me with love. Now, they looked at me the way you'd look at a stranger.
No, she wasn't indifferent or pitying me. She knew she once loved me, but she could no longer feel it.
I was heartbroken.
Four years.
Gone.
Just like that.
Because of that damned flaw.
Ahhhhhhhh!
Why me? Why is it always me? What did I do to deserve this, Fate?
Once again, I was alone.
Again.
Sigh.
According to the knights, she was the illegitimate child of the head of the Great Zeus Clan.
How pathetic. A father who abandoned his illegitimate child, only to claim her now that she had the potential to surpass even his legitimate children.
She came to my humble home one last time.
She looked different—stronger, almost like a battle-hardened warrior, you know like a muscle mommy.
Hahaha…
How pathetic I am.
She walked toward me, each step dragging out the inevitable.
She parted her lips.
"I'm leaving. I have about two hours left here," she said, pausing as if waiting for my reaction.
I already knew this was coming. But it still hurt.
I knew it wasn't her fault. It wasn't mine, either.
I wanted to cry. But I forced myself to stand my ground, pushing the tears back.
"Do you not feel betrayed? I'm leaving you. While we haven't officially broken up, I thought you would feel sad about my departure," she said in a tone I couldn't quite recognize.
"Of course I do. I know it's not your fault, nor is it anyone's. I feel devastated… but I can't stop you," I said, my voice heavy with sadness—a tone I had forgotten I was even capable of after four years.
'Maybe in another universe, we could've lived a normal life—a loving home, children, grandchildren… but I guess that's all just wishful thinking.'
"I'm sorry," she said. "I've realized now that strength is all that matters. I didn't even know I had a family. I loved you once. I can't feel love now, but I know I once felt like I was in paradise with you. So I apologize. I want you to move on… just like I'm going to. Goodbye."
She turned away.
"Oh… and thank you for everything, Veylen."
And just like that, she left me.
Alone.
In the same house where we built our memories.
Sigh.
My heart felt like it was being squeezed, tighter and tighter, with every second that passed.
**
{Three years later…}
At this moment, I felt empty.
It's been three years, but I still can't forget her.
Maybe she's living her best life now. After all, she's part of the Great Zeus Clan.
You know what's funny?
Even when I felt like no one was there for me…
There was always a crow.
🐦⬛
Always around me, like a silent companion.
It was the only thing that stopped me from crossing the line of no return. The only thing that kept me sane.
It's ironic, isn't it? I used to think crows were ugly.
The crow, its feathers as dark as the void itself, landed gently on my shoulder.
It was warm.
That warmth kept me sane.
But… was it a blessing?
Or a curse?
Every night, I hear voices.
They tell stories, as if trying to teach me something.
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't learned from them.
As I set my cigarette down, my vision suddenly turned black.
Is this… the end?
Ah. But do I really want to go now?
No.
I have too many regrets.
Why am I so weak?
I have no talent.
I'm pathetic.
I want to be strong.
I want to be surrounded by people who actually care about me.
I want a second chance.
But maybe… it's already too late.
The crow on my shoulder tilted its head, as if amused. The warmth it gave me felt… heavier than usual, like an unseen weight pressing down on my soul.
I heard whispers in the distance, growing clearer by the second.
'Do you seek the truth? Do you seek power? Then step forward, Seeker of Lost Truths.'
My vision turned black.
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Thank you for reading!