He was so still now, his breathing slow, steady, completely at peace. His warm breath brushed faintly against my collarbone, sending soft ripples of warmth through my skin. His head rested gently against my chest, his damp hair still carrying the faint scent of the floral shampoo from our shared bath.
I traced slow, feather-light patterns down his back with my fingertips, savoring the way his strong, well-built frame felt cradled in my arms. He was so warm, so alive, and completely mine—even if he didn't realize it yet.
Kevin…
The sound of his name echoed in my mind like a quiet prayer.
He was supposed to be like the others—a means to survive, a fleeting spark to devour before moving on. That was what I had to do—what I was made for.
But this one…
I gazed down at him, studying the way his brow remained slightly furrowed even in sleep, as though even now, he was trying to make sense of everything. His features were so earnest, so open, untouched by the cruelty of the world I came from.
Pure.
I swallowed hard, pushing down the familiar hunger that stirred faintly within me—a reminder of what I was, of what I needed.
But as my arms tightened around him instinctively, I realized that for the first time in my life…
I didn't want to hurt him.
He was different.
So warm… so good…
I gently shifted, guiding his head closer to my chest, letting his steady heartbeat thrum softly against my skin—a quiet, comforting rhythm that eased the restless ache I had carried for so long.
This one… I want to keep.
The thought struck me unexpectedly, filling me with a strange, aching tenderness. I had never felt this before, not in my long, isolated existence. He wasn't just someone to feed on—he was more.
He trusted me—without even knowing what I really was.
I let out a slow, quiet sigh, feeling his breath sync with mine as sleep fully claimed him. His vulnerability should have invited cruelty, should have awakened the hunter within me…
But instead, it awakened something far more dangerous.
---
His breathing stayed steady and calm, his body warm and relaxed in my arms. Every slow rise and fall of his chest pressed softly against mine, grounding me in this unexpected stillness. His face, peaceful and unguarded, seemed almost unreal, as if this entire moment could shatter like delicate glass if I dared to breathe too loudly.
I traced the curve of his jaw with my fingertips, memorizing every line, every soft angle. His skin was still faintly flushed from earlier, radiating heat that felt impossibly comforting.
My first time…
My first one...
The thought made my heart flutter, a strange tingling warmth spreading from deep within me. I'd waited so long, denying myself that part of who I was, suppressing the hunger, the loneliness… the craving for connection.
But with him, it had been different.
So natural. So easy.
He didn't flinch, didn't resist… he trusted me. Even when he couldn't understand why.
And now… I'd taken everything.
---
I shouldn't have done it…
The thought hit me like a sharp stab of guilt, cutting through the soft haze of satisfaction lingering in my chest. He'd given himself so willingly, so completely, without ever knowing the truth about me, or the cost.
But it felt… right.
It wasn't like the other times I'd fed, where survival had been cold, calculated, and merciless. This had been something… more.
Real.
I pressed my lips gently to his forehead, feeling his skin cooling under my breath. His scent lingered faintly—earthy, warm, human. He was everything I had sworn to avoid, everything I was supposed to consume… then forget.
But now?
I couldn't let go.
He was mine… not because of what I was, but because of who he was. His goodness, his warmth, the way his hands trembled when they first touched me, yet held so much care.
My fingers tightened gently around his, intertwining them as if claiming a small part of him. His breathing remained slow, unaware of the storm churning within me.
This was never supposed to happen…
I was supposed to feed, leave, and never look back.
But now, after everything…
I couldn't imagine walking away.
---
I held him closer, feeling his steady breath rise and fall against me, warm and reassuring. His scent, earthy, familiar, comforting, lingered in the air, wrapping around me like a soft, invisible tether. Every beat of his heart echoed through me, grounding me in a way I hadn't thought possible.
But beneath the sweet stillness, a familiar unease stirred.
He doesn't know.
Kevin… my Kevin… trusted me with everything, without realizing how dangerous that trust truly was. He deserved to know, didn't he? He had earned the truth.
But what if he… runs?
I clenched my jaw, fingers tightening around his as if holding him closer could somehow erase the growing conflict in my chest. The thought of him looking at me with fear, with disgust, made something inside me break.
What if he leaves… because of what I am?
I bit my lower lip, hard, pushing back the shameful ache that clawed at my heart. I'd seen that same look on others before—the moment they realized the truth.
Fear. Revulsion. Horror.
Would he be different? Or would he run, just like they all did?
Tell him, a quiet voice urged from deep within.
He deserves to know the truth. He deserves a choice.
But what if… telling him means losing him forever?
My gaze drifted back to him, still peacefully asleep, his expression soft, unaware of the storm raging inside me. His brow twitched slightly in his sleep, as if sensing my turmoil.
Could he accept me… all of me?
The hunger… the danger… the truth?
I couldn't bear the thought of losing this, losing him.
But keeping him meant living with lies, building a fragile world that could shatter the moment he learned the truth.
And he would learn, eventually.
Secrets never stay buried forever.
---
With a trembling breath, I rested my forehead against his, letting the stillness calm the war within me.
Maybe not tonight…
But someday… I'd have to tell him.