"What? You said you want to confess to Levy too?"
Same scene, same content, but this time the person seeking Kira's help was different.
"Plant-licking Fat Man" Droy (as Kira jokingly referred to him in his head) had shown up at Hope Cottage with the same mission as Jet the day before: winning Levy's heart.
Kira sighed, rubbing his temples. "What is wrong with you two? Do you have nothing better to do than orbit around Levy all day?"
Droy slammed his fist on the counter. "I know all about what happened in the library yesterday! Jet secretly took Levy out on a date without telling me. That's just too much!"
His voice dripped with indignation as he folded his arms. "Kira, you know Levy and I go way back. We've been friends forever! It's not an exaggeration to call us childhood sweethearts. I've liked her for as long as I can remember!"
Here we go again… childhood sweethearts. Kira's internal monologue fired up. The trope that never works in this guild. When will these two realize?
"Anyone with eyes could see that Levy made up an excuse about meeting Lucy because she wasn't interested in Jet. Now's my chance!" Droy declared, puffing out his chest confidently.
Kira nearly choked on his tea. Your chance? Where does this guy get his confidence?
"So," Kira asked with a sigh, "what exactly are you planning to do?"
"That's why I came to you! You know her better than anyone, right? You're the guy who makes all the magic items. You must have something that'll make her notice me!"
Kira's eye twitched. "First of all, don't spread rumors that I know everything about Levy. That'll only make me look bad! She's only seventeen! You need to cool it!"
Droy's tone softened. "Fine, fine. I just… I really need your help, Kira. I'll owe you big time if this works."
Kira sighed in defeat. "All right, all right. You don't need a convoluted plan. Jet already proved that dates don't work. Just go for a straightforward gift and confession!"
Droy blinked. "A gift? Like what?"
Kira resisted the urge to slap his own forehead. "Flowers, you idiot! Girls love flowers!"
"Flowers?" Droy's brows furrowed. "Aren't those plants? Plants are my specialty!"
Something about the way he said it gave Kira pause. Why do I have the feeling that Droy's definition of flowers and mine aren't the same?
"Exactly! Use your magic to grow some beautiful flowers. The effort will show how much you care."
"But it takes time to grow good flowers!" Droy protested.
Kira rummaged through his shelves and produced a small bag of fertilizer. "Lucky for you, I've got this. It's a special fertilizer that accelerates plant growth. With this, you can grow a whole garden of flowers in a single day!"
Droy eyed the bag warily. "Are you sure this isn't cheating?"
"Fine, don't use it. Go ahead and wait a month to grow your flowers. I'm sure Levy will be impressed by someone else by then," Kira retorted.
"Okay, okay! I'll take it!" Droy snatched the fertilizer and bolted out of the shop.
As Kira watched him leave, a troubling thought crossed his mind. Wait… did I forget to tell him how to use it properly? He shrugged. "Nah, it's written on the bag. He'll figure it out."
The next morning, chaos erupted at the girls' dormitory.
Somehow, a monstrous green vine had sprouted overnight, piercing through several floors of the building and sending furniture flying. The landlord was furious, demanding compensation.
When the source of the incident was traced, Levy reluctantly stepped forward, blushing with embarrassment. She offered to pay for the damages, then locked herself in her room and refused to come out.
Later that day, Levy showed up at Hope Cottage, her face red with frustration.
"So," Kira began, looking at her sympathetically, "Jet and Droy have been pestering you lately, is that it?"
Levy nodded, fidgeting with her hands. "I don't want them to fight. They've been friends forever. But they keep doing things like this, and I don't know how to handle it."
Kira raised an eyebrow. "Why come to me? Why not talk to Erza or Mira about this?"
Levy looked sheepish. "If I go to Mira, the whole guild will know in no time. And Erza… well, I don't think she'd understand."
Fair enough, Kira thought. Mira was a notorious shipper, and Erza wasn't exactly the person to consult about matters of the heart.
"Fine," Kira said, leaning back. "Tell me exactly what's been happening."
Levy explained everything: the awkward lunchbox scene with Jet, the over-the-top flower incident with Droy, and their increasingly aggressive competition for her attention.
When she finished, Kira sighed. "So they've been making things awkward for you, but they haven't even confessed yet?"
Levy nodded. "Exactly! I can't reject them if they haven't asked me anything directly. What am I supposed to do?"
Kira smirked. "I have just the thing." He handed her a small vial of perfume.
Levy tilted her head. "Perfume? I don't really use this kind of stuff."
"This isn't ordinary perfume," Kira explained. "It's a special formula I created. One whiff, and people will blurt out their true feelings. Just use this when you're around Jet and Droy. They'll confess on the spot, and you can reject them properly!"
Levy hesitated. "Are you sure this won't make things worse?"
"Trust me. Once they get it off their chests, they'll move on. Besides, they're grown men. They can handle rejection."
Later that afternoon, Jet and Droy finally confronted Levy.
Under the influence of Kira's "Sincerity Perfume," they wasted no time.
"Levy, I like you!" Jet blurted out. "Please date me!"
"Don't want to," Levy replied flatly.
Droy jumped in immediately. "Levy, I like you too! Please date me!"
"Don't want to," she said again, her tone unchanged.
It was over in a matter of seconds, breaking the record for the fastest double rejection in Fairy Tail history.
The next day, Jet and Droy returned to Hope Cottage, despondent but determined to talk to Kira.
"I got rejected," Jet admitted.
"Me too," Droy added.
Kira shrugged. "So what? You got your answer, didn't you?"
"But what do we do now?" Jet asked, his voice filled with despair.
"Keep liking her if you want," Kira replied nonchalantly. "It's your choice. But don't let it ruin your friendship. If Levy's happiness matters to you, you'll find a way to move on without making things weird."
Jet and Droy exchanged glances, then nodded in unison.
A few days later, the Lane Engine Team was back to normal, their friendship intact despite their failed confessions. Levy, for her part, felt relieved that the awkwardness had passed.
As for Kira, he leaned back in his chair, satisfied. Another successful operation. Maybe I should start charging extra for relationship counseling.
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