I woke up to screaming. Again.
"WHAT NOW?!" I groaned, stumbling out of my hut.
The culprit? Boulder. He was hanging upside down from a tree, tangled in a rope ladder that looked like it had been designed by someone who hated ladders and trees equally.
"I was testing the strength of the ropes!" Boulder yelled, flailing like a particularly stupid fish caught in a net. "Turns out… not strong enough!"
His wife stood at the base of the tree, arms crossed and a glare that could make a dragon think twice. "Get down here before I decide to leave you there!"
Yeah, let's leave Mel to worry about that. I don't wanna get involved, and that looks like it's gonna be a headache. (-_-)
Meanwhile, Scarface was trying to console his wife, who was glaring at the heap of rocks he'd stacked. "It's… supposed to look like that?" he ventured hesitantly. Even he sounds like he doesn't believe it, what made him think his wife would?
She smacked him on the head. "It looks like you threw them there blindfolded!"
Tink was off to the side, waving a crooked piece of wood in his wife's face. "I measured it! Twice!"
"If you measured it, then I'm the Queen of the Realm," she snapped, snatching the plank and examining it. She snapped it over her knee for good measure. "That's what I think of your 'measurements.'" Sheesh!
Grumpy, bless his lovesick heart, was trying to impress his crush by lifting the biggest log in the area. He managed to hoist it above his head with a heroic grunt, only to drop it directly onto his foot the second she looked away.
"AAAAAARGH!" Ouch! That sounds like it really hurts! (;･_･)
His crush glanced over, unimpressed. Honestly? Would've expected her to leave the ogre there by himself. But, she did help him up anyway, guess that's progress for Grumpy?
I scanned the rest of the chaos. The lizardmen were, surprisingly, doing okay. Except for one guy who accidentally splashed mud on his leader's wife. He froze in place, his eyes wide with terror.
"Clean it. NOW," she hissed. If eyes could kill, he'd be dead hundred times over by now.
He scrambled like his life depended on it. It probably did.
And then there were the Imps. Oh, the Imps.
They had transformed their building site into a war zone. One was wielding a flaming stick and chasing another, while another was pelting rocks at everyone within a ten-meter radius.
"STOP SETTING EACH OTHER ON FIRE!" I roared.
The Imps paused mid-chaos to look at me. Then, like mischievous squirrels caught raiding a pantry, they scattered in every direction.
Titan, bless him, was the only one not causing trouble. He was quietly stacking logs with the calm efficiency of someone who knew better than to get involved.
I clapped my hands to get everyone's attention. "LISTEN UP!"
The noise died down. Even the Imps poked their heads out from the bushes they'd been hiding in.
"If you keep this up, none of you are getting your houses done! Do you all want to sleep outside tonight?"
A collective groan of "No, boss…" rippled through the crowd.
"Good. Boulder, for goodness sake, stop climbing trees. Scarface, level out those rocks before your wife kills you. Tink, let your wife do the measuring. Grumpy… just carry stuff normally, okay?"
Grumpy nodded, limping away with what dignity he could muster.
I turned to the Imps. "And you lot—what are you even doing?"
One of them pointed proudly at a haphazard pile of sticks and leaves. "It's a house!"
I stared at it. "That's not a house. That's an insult to squirrels everywhere."
The Imp puffed out his chest. "Squirrels are smart!"
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Fine. Build your squirrel nest. But don't come crying to me when it collapses."
Satisfied—for now—I sat on a nearby log to watch the chaos unfold.
Scarface was frantically leveling rocks while his wife supervised like a particularly harsh drill sergeant. Boulder's wife was cutting him out of the tree, muttering under her breath about "idiot husbands." Tink's wife had commandeered their project entirely, with Tink demoted to a "tool boy."
The lizardmen were making steady progress, though their leader kept glancing nervously at his wife to make sure she was still happy.
And the Imps? Well, they were still Imps.
Haa..This is gonna be a long, long week...
As the sun began to set, I let out a long sigh. This was going to take forever. But hey, at least no one had managed to burn the village down. Yet.
Knowing my luck, that would probably happen tomorrow.