CHAPTER 1

Taya's POV

"Moon goddess, help me." I whispered, my voice strained in between gasping for air. My mind was getting foggy from all the pain and my heart thumped and twitched uncontrollably. I bit my lip, holding back a scream that threatened to escape my throat as the throbbing pain in my chest persisted.

I held on to my chest and crawled slowly out of bed. I was drenched in my own sweat from trying to cover the distance between my bed and the window. Every step felt like a marathon.

"Nel…Jacob." I cried out, my voice desperate and pleading. "Please.." 

Where was he when I needed him the most? He was out again, with the rest of his friends, partying, or attending to pack business like he claims. 

I stumbled, my legs trembling as I made my way to the window. It was a full moon, a bittersweet reminder of the night I bonded with Nel. I leaned against the windowsill and sighed in relief, tears dripping down my eyes in torrents as I absorbed the moonlight. It was the only thing that could temporarily alleviate this curse from me.

Ever since my marriage to my mate and Alpha Jacob, this pain had been a companion. It started on the night after the consummation of my wedding with Jacob. It was abrupt, a sharp stabbing pain that tore through my very being. 

Jacob had rushed in minutes after the pain had subsided, tears in his eyes, apologizing profusely. But he never explained what was happening to me, or why. All I knew was that his presence seemed to calm the pain, and the moonlight was my only solace when he was away.

 As the minutes passed by, the pain slowly subsided leaving behind a deep sadness. 

I had always been addressed a weak, and I had learned to cope with this feeling of inadequacy, but I held to the believe that when I met my partner, everything would be alright.

I would spend hours dreaming about how infatuated we would be and how many puppies we would have. I had always wondered what it would be like to actually meet my partner. However, the truth appeared to be different; my relationship with Jacob only seemed to be getting weaker every day. 

I remembered our first night together like it was yesterday. It was filled with love and passion as he marked me, his teeth sinking into my skin. It was the one time he looked at me as though I was his. Now, he barely looked at me or simply treated me like a stranger. 

With tears dropping down the corner of my eyes, I cried till I slept, alone in that darkness.

I woke up to the sound of Jacob footsteps, his presence was a contrast to the emptiness I experienced last night. I then arose from the bed, and walk to the dinning room where he was already sitting with a cup full of coffee in his hand.

He spared me a passive glance before returning to piercing a piece of bacon with a fork and bringing it to his lips. 

"Good morning." I greeted, my voice hoarse from all the crying last night. 

"Morning." He merely responded. I waited, expecting him to ask how I managed through the night or if I had slept well. But he kept on munching on his food, leaving me standing there awkwardly.

I walked off silently, to clean up. I came downstairs excited that he had returned, forgetting to do my morning routine.

When I returned downstairs, a breakfast table was set with a spread of pastries, eggs, and bacon. 

He finished eating and simply waited for me to finish. The only sound I heard while eating was the sound of cutlery on plates, and I ate quietly, not sure of what to tell him.

After a long stretch of silence, Jacob finally cleared his throat, filling his glass cup with water. "I have another pack meeting to attend," he said, his voice formal. "The neighboring alphas are gathering to discuss trade agreements."

I sighed, feeling a familiar sense of disappointment. Another meeting, another day and night to be alone. I could not stop him from going, so instead I decided to make a request.

"Jacob," I interrupted, my voice barely above a whisper. "Can I ask something of you?"

He raised an eyebrow, his expression wary and surprised. "What is it?" He brought the glass to his lips.

I took a deep breath licking my lips nervously, my heart racing. "I would love to go out with you."

His eyes watered as he coughed furiously, choking on the water he was sipping. I stood trembling.. I nervously stood up and reached out to pat him on the back. His coughing reduced and he waved me off. I headed back to my seat and looked at him in concern and worry.

"Go out with me?" he asked, his voice incredulous.

I know I was not enough for him, but I wanted to try. I could help him at the pack meetings in other ways. I was still Luna of the pack.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my brow furrowed in concern. "Don't you want me to come over?"

Jacob's face turned red as he struggled to compose himself. He stumbled over his words.

"Nothing, nothing's wrong," he said, his voice still hoarse from coughing. "I just... didn't expect you to ask that, that's all." Jacob's eyes darted around the room, avoiding mine. 

I felt ashamed, knowing very well why he didn't want me to come. I was just going to go there and embarrass him. What the hell was I thinking?

"Don't worry about what I said, it was just a stupid request—" I started to say.

"No, it isn't." He said almost too quickly, cutting short my words. Then his expression changed, and he nodded slowly. "Fine, you can come with me."

I felt a surge of joy and relief. "Really? Thank you so much Jacob!" I said, grabbing his hand. It was a chance to finally prove myself. I had been seen as a figure head and a useless Luna by the pack members. A good for nothing who hasn't even been able to birth an heir. I had to prove myself to them somehow.

Jacob smiled, a small, tight smile as he released his hand from my hold. "It's okay. I'll make the arrangements."

I beamed at him, feeling a sense of gratitude. "Thank you, I really appreciate it."

Jacob pushed back his chair and stood up. "I have to go, I have some pack business to attend to."

I nodded, still feeling happy about his agreement . "Okay, I will see you later."

As he walked away from the dinning table, I caught a view of him grinning to himself. It was a fleeting moment, but it gave me a sense of unease. What was he smiling about? I pushed the thought aside, not wanting to ruin the good mood I was in. 

I suddenly felt nervous about facing the pack members after so long. After all these years of passing through pain, I had learnt to stay away from others and keep to myself. I didn't want to hear whispers or rumors about my sickness when I walked. 

But I think it only made things worse. I

had to go out there and show them that I could do something besides being a trophy wife.