Chapter 9: A Moment of Vulnerability
The days blended together in an endless succession for Emilia since Dorian's last visit to the library. Though they lived under one roof, the distance separating them felt insurmountable. Dorian was still the enigma he had always been: ever-present yet never close. Always a watcher from afar, until the sensation of his gaze upon her was more mundane than any part of her day, like some sort of thread from which she couldn't get free.
She had tried to focus on her tasks, keeping her mind occupied, but every glance at him left her disoriented. His ability to make her feel seen yet so uncertain was maddening. She wanted to distance herself from him, to push him away, but at the same time, she longed for something more, something she wasn't sure she was ready for.
It was late one evening that she found herself in the drawing room, sitting near the large window, looking out at the darkened grounds. The mansion was quiet; the only sounds were the crackling of the fire and the occasional rustle of leaves outside. Her mind wandered, still tangled in thoughts of Dorian. She hadn't seen him all day, but the quiet was almost deafening, filled with the unsaid things between them.
The sound of footsteps, light and soft, the unmistakable sound of Dorian's tread, brought her thoughts to an abrupt end. Emilia's breath caught as she turned, her pulse racing wildly though she tried to appear composed. There he stood framed in the doorway, his tall frame silhouetted against the soft light from the hallway. His eyes met hers, intense and searching, as if he were trying to read her very soul.
I didn't expect to find you here," Dorian said, his voice deep, the words carrying an unfamiliar warmth. He stepped into the room, the air around him suddenly charged, and for the first time, she saw a flicker of something vulnerable in his eyes.
"I was just thinking," she said quietly, trying to keep her composure intact. "About… everything.
Dorian stepped another step forward, the movement deliberate and slow. "What about everything?" he asked low, his voice as if to entice her into sharing her mind.
She hesitated, unsure whether to admit the depth of her thoughts about him. Her heart thudded against her chest as a tide of emotion rose inside. How to explain how he had made her feel, that he had somehow managed to unsettle her and yet fill in pieces of herself that she had never known existed?
I don't know how to explain it," she finally said, her voice small, almost hesitant. "I just feel… confused. And it's hard to ignore you, Dorian."
His eyes softened at her words, and he took a step closer, closing the distance between them. His gaze never wavered from hers, as though he was studying every expression, every flicker of emotion that crossed her face.
"I don't want you to ignore me," he said softly, his voice low and steady. "I don't want you to run from what's between us."
Emilia's breath caught in her throat as he reached out, gently lifting her chin with one finger, tilting her face upward so that their eyes met again. There was an intensity in his gaze that made her heart race, a connection so strong she could almost taste it. She was afraid of the way he made her feel, but there was no denying the pull between them—the undeniable desire that seemed to grow with each passing moment.
"I'm not running," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "I'm just… scared."
Dorian's gaze softened then, and for the first time, there was something else in his eyes-a glimmer of understanding. He took a deep breath, his expression reflective.
"I know," he said softly. "You aren't afraid of me.
He reached out again, his hand resting gently on her arm. The touch was soft, comforting, but it sent a shock of warmth through her that made her pulse spike. His hand slid down her arm, and she couldn't help but close her eyes at the sensation. It was strange, this mix of comfort and uncertainty, desire and fear.
Dorian didn't push her or demand more from her. He stood there right in front of her and just watched, a soothing sight.
A long moment of silence passed between them before Dorian added, his tone even and clear, "I do not want to rush you, Emilia; I am simply here for you should you need anything. But neither will I disappear when the going gets tough.
Her eyes fluttered open at his words, and she met his gaze once more. There was an honesty in them now, something that wasn't about drawing her closer but knowing her-actually giving her space to know what she wanted.
"I don't know what I want," she whispered, her voice quivering.
"You don't have to know right now," he replied, his hand still resting gently on her arm. "Just know that when you're ready, I'll be here."
There was something in the way he said it, something in the depth of his voice, that made her believe him. His calm, unshaken confidence wasn't about power but about trust, a quiet understanding. And as much as she wanted to run, to escape this tension building between them, she found herself wanting to trust him.
Dorian's hand slipped from her arm, coming to rest on her shoulder as his fingers delicately grazed the fabric of her dress. His eyes flashed down to her lips and then away, yet that one quick glance seemed to send a thrill of heat through her body. She could feel the closeness now, a charged air that was more than just words.
And yet, Dorian didn't close that distance between them. He just remained there, his hand laid gently on her shoulder, regarding her with that tenderness so at odds with his normal reserve.
"You don't have to say anything, Emilia," he said softly. "But I want you to feel something. Just feel."
She swallowed hard as her body shook from the depth of the moment. The quiet stretched between them, yet without pressure or demand, merely the silent intimacy of two people who did not know exactly what was unfolding between them but who felt the weight of it.
Dorian finally broke the silence, his voice soft and almost a whisper. "You don't have to be afraid of what transpires between us. Very often, the most complicated things are well worth pursuing.
She glanced up at him, her heart beating in her chest. His words seemed to hang between them in the air as if in an embrace, and for the very first time, she did allow herself to feel this pull, this connection. She didn't understand it, nor did she know where it would lead. In that moment, though, she knew she could not ignore it any longer.
Dorian's gaze softened, and he took a small step back, leaving a sliver of space between them. "When you're ready," he said, his voice almost a promise, "I'll be here."
And with that, he turned and left the room, leaving Emilia standing in the quiet, her heart still racing, her mind still spinning, caught somewhere between fear and longing.