Chereads / The Daily Life of God / Chapter 8 - A Divine Day Off

Chapter 8 - A Divine Day Off

Being God was a lot of work, or at least that's what I'd been told. But honestly, some days, I felt like I needed a break. Even omnipotence had its limits—mainly, the limit where you just wanted to throw on some comfy pants, lie on a cloud, and do absolutely nothing.

I sighed, staring down at Barry, who was trudging through the streets of Unlikely Hope with his first disciple in tow. They were preaching the good word of the Golden Toaster to a rather uninterested donkey, and I could already tell this wasn't going to be a world-changing event.

"Ugh, they're not gonna get anywhere," I muttered to myself, reaching for a snack. "Maybe I should take a day off. You know, do some regular god stuff—like fishing in the sea of endless possibilities."

I swiveled in my heavenly recliner, kicked my feet up, and flicked a switch. A giant television screen appeared in front of me, showing Barry's progress.

"Let's see how this goes," I said, sipping my cosmic soda.

The Divine Breakdown

Back in Unlikely Hope, things weren't going so well. Barry and Bob had now attracted the attention of a pair of local farmers. They stood before the farmers, who seemed genuinely perplexed.

"So, you're saying we should follow the Golden Toaster?" the first farmer asked, scratching his head.

"That's right! It's the way to peace," Barry insisted.

Bob nodded. "It's about finding harmony through toast. You just need to believe in the toaster and spread the word!"

The second farmer squinted. "I don't know about that. Sounds… a bit strange, don't it?"

Barry looked around, desperately trying to think of a good selling point. "But think about it. What's better than a perfectly toasted piece of bread? No chaos. No drama. Just crispy, warm peace."

The farmers exchanged looks. One shrugged. "Well, we do like toast. And we've had enough chaos around here."

Barry's face lit up. "Exactly! The toaster is the symbol of everything good in life! It's simple. It's crispy. It's divine."

And just like that, the farmers were sold. "Alright, alright. You've got us. We're in."

Barry pumped his fist. "Yes! That's two more!"

A Divine Pause

Meanwhile, I was lounging in my cosmic throne, scrolling through the never-ending content of the multiverse. Watching Barry's progress was, frankly, a little boring. I needed something more exciting. Something… relatable.

"Alright, I'm taking a break," I declared, snapping my fingers. The entire multiverse paused for a moment, just long enough for me to slip out for a little me-time.

I descended into the human world, taking the form of a completely normal person—well, as normal as a deity in disguise could be. I opted for a simple disguise: a guy in a hoodie and flip-flops. Nobody ever questioned anyone wearing flip-flops.

I found myself in the middle of Unlikely Hope. The smell of fresh bread filled the air, and I could hear Barry's voice in the distance, preaching to yet another group of townsfolk. The whole thing felt so mundane, so… well, human.

But that was the beauty of it, wasn't it? It was the daily life of God. Not just the power, not just the glory, but the small, quiet moments that made existence real.

A Surprising Encounter

As I walked through the streets, I spotted a peculiar sight: an old woman sitting outside a bakery, staring at the sky as if waiting for something. Her wrinkled hands were clutching a basket of bread, but her eyes were distant, lost in thought.

"Excuse me," I said, approaching her. "You alright?"

She looked at me with a small, knowing smile. "Ah, just thinking. You know, about the meaning of life. About toast, mostly."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Toast?"

She nodded sagely. "Yes. The world is full of wonders, but there's something about a warm, golden piece of toast that makes everything seem right."

I raised an eyebrow. "So you're a fan of the Golden Toaster, then?"

Her eyes sparkled. "Oh, dear, I've been a follower of the toaster for years. Before it even became a religion, in fact."

I froze. "Wait, what?"

She leaned in, lowering her voice. "I'm not just any old woman, young man. I've seen things. I've experienced the power of the Golden Toaster. And let me tell you, it has a way of making everything fall into place."

I was starting to feel a little… off now. Who was this lady? And why did she know more about the Golden Toaster than I did?

"I'll have to go," I said, trying to play it cool. "But you have a good day."

She winked. "Oh, I will. And remember, the toaster's power isn't about the bread, it's about what you put on it."

I backed away slowly. Something about that exchange felt… divinely ominous.

Back to the Grind

As I made my way back to my celestial throne, I pondered the old woman's words. What did she mean by that? What was I missing about the Golden Toaster?

Maybe it was time to pay more attention to Barry's efforts. He might actually be onto something deeper than I'd realized. Maybe the path to peace was in the simple things, like toast.

Still, I couldn't shake the feeling that something bigger was brewing—something I wasn't prepared for.

"Alright," I said to myself, settling back into my throne. "Time to see how Barry handles this next step."