"I have this thing where I get older, but just never wiser
Midnights become my afternoons
When my depression works the graveyard shift, all of the people
I've ghosted stand there in the room."—Taylor Swift
...
Gwen's POV
One week has passed since I transmigrated into this world. Now, I can say that I have already formed my daily routine. Everything seems to be going in the right direction according to the plan.
As usual, I prepared for my morning jog, which I want to develop as a habit and a way of meditating in this crazy world. But I encountered something unexpected, my father.
He was there in sportswear, seemingly waiting for something. I greeted him: "Hi Dad, what are you doing in sportswear so early?"
Yeah, his job isn't easy, with different shifts and no fixed schedule. He rarely has time to rest. Even in Gwen's memory, he isn't the type to go for a morning run.
He looked at me, smiling, and said: "Morning, Gwen. I just returned from my shift today, but I don't feel like sleeping, so why not join you?"
Although I had guessed this upon seeing him, I was still surprised, which made me ask to confirm: "Join me? Are you sure?"
He chuckled lightly. "Why not? It's been a while since I've had a chance to spend time with you. And besides," he added, stretching his arms over his head, "a little exercise won't kill me."
I couldn't help but glance at his belly, and well, it had nothing to do with a six-pack. He also seemed to notice my gaze and appeared a little embarrassed, which was a bit funny.
It's indeed true that a little exercise won't kill him. Anyway, in his line of work, sometimes a reaction time of one second can save lives. I nodded and said: "Okay, hope you can keep up and don't get outrun by me."
He just shook his head at my teasing while smiling, showing he was in a good mood.
We started jogging at a slow and steady pace, side by side. Early mornings in New York are simply a world apart from the daytime. Without much traffic or people, you can just chill peacefully, it's like two different worlds.
My father seemed relaxed, which isn't easy for him. I couldn't help but ask: "Dad, why did you choose the police job?"
My question seemed to catch him off guard since, normally, Gwen was never interested in his work. But after a moment of silence, he sighed and glanced at me, his expression softening.
"How should I put it? I won't be hypocritical and say it was for righteousness or something. It's just that I felt I didn't have a choice back then.
"Life was really difficult, you know, with the Cold War and all. The law was too strict, opportunities were few, and it hurts to admit it, but at that time, I was too dependent on my parents.
"Normally, there's nothing wrong with that, but at the time, I had my pride. They would ask me to do things I didn't like or even found humiliating, but I didn't have a choice. Whether I could eat or not depended on them.
"I was looking for a way to be independent and stable, which the police force offered me at the time."
I nodded to show my understanding, although I didn't fully grasp it. Anyway, I didn't doubt he was being honest with me. I then asked again: "Then, if you didn't have a choice back then, now that you do, why not quit?
"I mean, although it would be difficult to find a job as stable and well-paid as yours after so many promotions, you don't have to worry about money anymore. You'd also have time to spend with us."
My words seemed to hit a nerve. He slowed his pace slightly, though I don't know if it was because he was tired.but then his gaze fixed on the horizon ahead. He spoke in a melancholy tone.
"For me now, it's no longer as simple as just walking away. I'm already in my forties. I started when I was 21, which means almost half of my life I've been doing this job."
"Over the years, only God knows the things I've seen, a mother selling her daughter, a father in his right mind burning his son, kidnappers tearing families apart, brothers killing each other, teachers raping their students. I've seen things you couldn't even imagine."
"But it's not just the bad. I've seen good too, a friend sacrificing himself by taking a bullet for me and dying, a brother saving his sister, a terrified mother using her body to shield her son."
"It may seem dumb, but after all these years, the one thing I'm proud of learning is this: every action has consequences. The moment you act, you must be ready for those consequences, whether they're good or bad."
"If I stopped being a police officer now, and one day I saw a criminal killing a mother and leaving a child an orphan, I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt of knowing that if I hadn't quit, I could've stopped it."
"Now imagine if it were your mother who was killed, and you became the orphan. I'd rather die than let that happen."
When he said this, I couldn't help but think of poor Peter Parker. Had he acted, he could've easily stopped that thief. But instead, he watched that thief kill his uncle and had to bear the consequences of his inaction for the rest of his life.
I also realized I need to speed things up and shouldn't waste any more time. I have lives to save, after all. To do this, I need to graduate.
I looked at my father, who still seemed lost in his memories, and said: "Dad, I want to graduate early."
Again, he didn't expect me to say this, especially since we were discussing a different topic. Still, he asked: "Why?"
For the first time since coming into this world, I decided to confide in someone. I sighed and said: "To be honest, I'm a little confused."
"What is the meaning of my life? Just to live, work, and die? I'm also confused about my talent. Why me and not someone else?"
"I feel like, if I wanted to, I could create extraordinary inventions, items, medicines, and methods that could save lives. But I'm afraid."
"I'm afraid people will blame me for their misfortune. That businessmen wouldn't want me to succeed and would try to stop me. That governments would try to control me to protect their interests."
"But after our discussion, I feel enlightened. I'm not doing this for gratitude. I want to save lives and secure the future."
"It's like if I discovered a cure for cancer but didn't share it out of fear. What if I died before I could? And later, someone I loved got cancer and couldn't be saved? I wouldn't forgive myself."
"So by the end of the year, I'll create something novel to save lives. If I succeed, I'll apply for early graduation. I'll use my time for my dream: my band and researching ways to save lives. Please, Dad."
After hearing my reasoning, my father smiled in relief. It seemed he accepted my decision.
He said: "You're young, but you've already thought so far ahead. I'm proud of you. When I was your age, I couldn't think this deeply."
"I trust you. You've always been intelligent and sensible. If that playboy Stark can be called a genius, then why not my Gwen?"
"I'm happy you're not just thinking about money and that you're willing to share your worries with your father. Remember, your family is always here to support you."
After that father-daughter talk, I felt I had truly accepted George now. No, now I really considered them my family. I hope I can live up to their expectations.
END OF THE CHAPTER
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