Nicole..
Sleep betrayed me again. It left me thinking about the events of that night and most especially Zach.
The next morning came and I felt like a zombie, hungover and starved of sleep. Still, I pulled myself together. I had to help Leah get the kids ready for school.
"Are you ready?" Leah asked.
"Ready for?" I was confused because I hadn't heard her say anything about going out and most importantly, me tagging along.
"Zach is dropping the children off at school since Jack would be busy. I think you should use this opportunity to bond with the kids," she explained as if it were the simplest concept in the world.
The word 'bonding' triggered an image of my mother and me. When I thought back to those days in childhood, the memories hurt more than any physical injury.
"I am sure I can bond with them when they are back, I don't really feel well?" I knew how weak and fragile my words sounded but couldn't think of anything else to say other than it. I wasn't sick but the idea of being in the same space as Zach, bothered me.
"Are you sure?"
"I am hung over Leah." I tried to sound as pitiful as possible. I hated myself for letting something so trivial make me act like such a child. I didn't mean to whine or behave like a child. I just…
"Okay, okay, okay."
I didn't feel guilty when I watched Zach drive off from the window of my room. This time I was careful, I made sure he didn't see me.
"What does being married feel like?" I asked Leah when we finally had time to catch up.
"It's the best feeling, trust me." She beamed, like a memory flashed in her mind. Then her expression turned serious again. " Although, It gets tiring sometimes . Having to be with someone else every second of the day is pretty hard," she said as she put the last dish in the cupboard. "But, you'll get used to it. We all do it." She added.
She was looking at me mischievously.
"What?" I demanded.
"You look worried about some kind of secret. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone, I promise." She replied as she winked.
"What does that even mean?" I looked even more puzzled.
"Nothing, nothing. Just trying to lighten your mood." she replied with another wink.
I sighed.
"Any boyfriend yet?" She asked casually as if I should answer by myself. I didn't respond immediately.
"I know you can hear me, Nicole!"
"None."
"Oh come on, you are too beautiful to be without one," she laughed. Her laugh was contagious and I found myself laughing too.
"I don't think a lot of people think that." I mumbled after a while.
Leah stopped what she was doing to stare at me. "Are you insane Nicole? You are one of the most beautiful people I know, you have the largest heart, you're generous and compassionate. You deserve a lot more credit than you give yourself and if no one sees that, then fuck them!"
"Thanks" I said softly. The sincerity in her voice hit me right in the gut, causing me to cry instead. Leah rushed to my side and wrapped her arms around me. I hugged her back and sobbed into her shoulder.
"There, there, it will be okay Nicole," she comforted me. "You're one of the strongest women I know. You will be fine."
"Yeah, I guess you're right." I sniffed, trying not to show her my tears.
"Of course I'm right, now let's stop crying," she declared.
"Sure." I giggled.
"But do you like anybody?"
"Leah! I thought we were done with the subject?" I said annoyed, not wanting to talk about this anymore.
"No. You were standing pretty close to Zach last night."
"I was drunk, he was helping me." I rolled my eyes.
"You sound so defensive. Fine! No more questions."
And just like that, our conversation turned to lighter topics and I felt better than I did before. It still hurt a little, but knowing Leah was there helped. We talked about random things for a few minutes until I left for my room and Leah needed to rest too.
I didn't know when I fell asleep but when I woke up, it was already evening.
I helped Leah prepare dinner. And when it was time to eat, it felt awkward sitting there and looking directly at Zach. I could have switched seats but I didn't want to make it look weird.
I tried to look up as much as I could but it was impossible to focus on anything when I was staring at his lips. It took everything in me to keep my eyes away. It was even more impossible when I could feel his gaze on me, analyzing my every move.
My skin started to heat up. I didn't dare lift my eyes from the plate.
After dinner, I hurried to my room. I didn't sleep, couldn't. I didn't dare use my socials. I wasn't about to lose my mind even further. Maybe if I didn't probe, it would go away.
It was now past ten and I was still unable to sleep. A part of me wanted to use the jacuzzi. I knew Zach would be there and yet I still wanted to, maybe I wanted to see him.
When I got there, I saw him, he noticed my presence as well, and it felt like the world stopped and everything was moving in slow motion.
"Can't sleep? What's wrong?" He asked as he popped his head out of the water.
"Nothing, I think it's my turn now, get out of the water. I am here for the jacuzzi, just the jacuzzi." I said as I moved towards him.
He did as I had commanded, stepping out, he had only his underwear on. His skin glistened wetly and I had trouble taking my eyes off his naked body. It almost felt sinful but I refused to acknowledge it.
"Take a photo while it lasts." Zach suggested when I finally lifted my eyes to meet his gaze. His face showed amusement mixed with curiosity and I was grateful he didn't seem upset about me looking like a pervert.
"I'll delete it later, but thanks."
"That's it?" He seemed amused.
"What?"
He was walking towards me and I was frozen in place. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest. "Did you only come here for the Jacuzzi?" He whispered seductively right in front of my face, his breath hot against my skin.
My pulse quickened at his closeness and the smell of his cologne filled my nostrils. The air seemed thick, my body trembled with desire. I could barely breathe and I had to resist the urge to pull him towards me and kiss him senseless.
"I think you need to leave," I said instead . My voice quivered as I spoke because I was scared of what he might do next.
"Why?" His eyes sparkled with anticipation.
"Because you are distracting me. I don't need distractions," I almost replied, almost. "Because I need my privacy." I said instead.
Zach stared at me for a moment. His expression changed to something that I couldn't quite comprehend. "This is my house, you can't tell me when to leave or when not to."
I scoffed unbelievably "Is this how you treat your guests?" I exclaimed, incredulously, and then regretted my words the instant they came out. If I wanted to avoid him completely it was obvious that I wouldn't stay any longer.
"Oh, you have no idea how I treat my guests." He winked. "You see, their wishes are usually my command. Just like yours is," he said in a way that was far too smooth for the situation.
"Then I say you should leave." I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
"After what happened last night, I'm afraid we have some unfinished business, Nicole." The way my name rolled off his tongue made me blush. And the words that flew out of his lips afterwards, turned me into a tomato. "I'd only do what you really want Nicole, not what you say." He muttered Gruffly. There was barely any space between us now.
I opened my mouth to tell him to leave but I knew that was not what I wanted. My words failed me and I knew I needed to come up with something quickly.
"Think about it Nicole," that tiny voice whispered in my head but I was gone. Maybe it was the way he had said my name, but I knew that it was more than what I was expecting. It was there right from the moment I saw him at the airport, to last night and now.
This man was doing something to me without even touching me yet. Something Killian didn't and couldn't do.
I couldn't explain the kind of attraction I felt towards the man in front of me. When I looked at him again, his green eyes were probing intensity into mine, and I felt seen and touched. Touched without any contact. Was it safe to say my new favorite color was green?
I shivered as I thought of what to say to him. Do I say the truth? Do I lie? His minty breath still fanned my face and oh how I wanted to lean in for more. Our breaths were mingling together and getting shorter and I could feel the clock ticking.
I was lost in a frenzy and sunk further when his voice broke through my thoughts again. "You have five seconds to make a wish, Nicole. Tell me what it is you really want."