Days passed, and Ili hadn't seen Kouko once. She hadn't come to class, hadn't responded to messages—not that he had sent many. Something about the silence unsettled him, like an unfinished sentence hanging in the air.
And then, finally, he saw her.
She was walking ahead of him near the library, her steps slower than usual, her figure slightly hunched as if the weight of something unseen pressed down on her shoulders.
His heart clenched. She doesn't look okay.
His instinct was to call out to her—to close the distance between them and demand to know what was wrong. But something in the way she carried herself stopped him. There was a fragility to her posture, a hesitation in her movements.
She hadn't noticed him.
And before he could decide what to do, she disappeared around the corner.
After class, Ili found himself heading to the campus café. He didn't plan to, but his feet carried him there anyway, as if hoping Kouko would magically appear and explain everything.
Instead, he ran into Rina and Mika.
Rina, tall and confident with a perpetual glint of mischief in her eyes, spotted him first. She smirked, folding her arms as he approached.
"Well, well. If it isn't our favorite lost puppy," she teased.
Mika, standing beside her, nudged Rina in the ribs. "Don't be mean," she chided, though her gaze was more observant, more curious. "You're looking for Kouko, aren't you?"
Ili hesitated, suddenly feeling exposed. "I… yeah. Sort of."
Mika exchanged a glance with Rina before sighing. "She's been… dealing with some things," she said carefully. "It's not really our place to say."
Ili frowned. That only made him more worried. "Is she okay?"
Rina's smirk faded, replaced by something more serious. She shifted her weight, crossing her arms tighter. "Listen, Ili… if you're really her friend, just be patient with her, okay?"
That made his stomach tighten. Why does it feel like everyone knows something I don't?
Before he could press further, Mika offered him a small, sad smile. "She'll talk when she's ready," she said gently. "Until then… try not to worry too much."
Easier said than done.
As they left, Ili stood frozen, the weight of their words settling heavily in his chest.
He sank into a chair, running a hand through his hair.
Why does it feel like I'm always one step behind her?
Why did everyone around Kouko seem to know more than he did?
And what exactly were they hiding?
Ili didn't leave right away.
He let Mika and Rina think he had accepted their words, nodding along as if he'd back off, as if he'd just wait for Kouko to reach out when she was ready. But deep down, he knew himself better than that.
He was stubborn.
And right now, he couldn't shake the feeling that if he walked away completely, he might never get the chance to see her properly again.
So he waited.
Outside the café, near the edge of the campus walkway, there was a large, familiar tree—a quiet spot Kouko always passed on her way home. The air was crisp, cold enough to make most students hurry indoors, but Ili simply pulled his jacket tighter around himself and leaned back against the trunk.
Minutes passed. Then more.
The sun had started setting, a soft golden hue spilling over the pavement.
Then, finally—
Kouko stepped outside.
She halted the moment she saw him.
Her eyes flickered with something unreadable—surprise, hesitation… maybe even something softer. Ili, sitting there under the tree like some sort of stubborn idiot, in the cold no less, as if waiting for someone who may never come.
Who does that?
She sighed, shifting the strap of her bag over her shoulder before walking forward, pretending not to notice him.
But by then, Ili had already lifted his head.
The moment their eyes met, he immediately stood up, brushing off his sleeves as he took a step toward her.
For a second, neither of them spoke.
The air between them felt… different. A little awkward, a little hesitant, but not in a bad way—more like the natural quiet that comes from not seeing someone for too long and not knowing how to fill the space between.
Kouko clutched her bag tighter, looking away. "What are you doing here?"
Ili rubbed the back of his neck, offering a small smile. "Waiting."
She exhaled through her nose, unimpressed. "For who?"
He tilted his head. "Who do you think?"
A soft, barely-there pink dusted her cheeks, but she quickly turned away, adjusting the scarf around her neck. "You're an idiot."
"Yeah, I've been told," Ili said, his smile growing slightly.
Kouko sighed, shifting her weight. "Ili… I'm tired. I just want to go home."
Her voice wasn't cold, but there was something about the way she said it that made his chest tighten.
He didn't want to just let her leave—not like this.
So before she could take another step, he reached forward, gently taking her hand in his.
Kouko stiffened, her fingers twitching slightly at the unexpected warmth against her cold skin. She turned to him, eyes widening, as if startled not just by the action—but by the fact that he had done it so naturally.
Ili met her gaze, firm yet lighthearted. "Then let me do something first," he said. "Just for a bit."
She stared at him, unsure. "What are you—"
"Trust me," he cut in gently. "I know you don't want to talk right now. And that's fine. But let me do something to cheer you up, just for a little while."
Her lips parted slightly, but no words came out.
His grip on her hand wasn't tight—she could pull away if she wanted to. But she didn't.
She hesitated, glancing down, her fingers twitching against his.
Then, after a long pause—
"…Just for a little while," she mumbled.
Ili smiled, giving her hand a small squeeze. "Good enough for me."
And with that, he started walking.
Still holding her hand.
Still making sure she wouldn't slip away.
Kouko didn't protest.
For now.
The Train Ride to Nowhere
The train rocked gently as it sped along the tracks, the rhythmic hum filling the quiet between them. Kouko sat by the window, her gaze lost in the blur of passing buildings. The golden glow of the afternoon sun cast long streaks of light across the seats.
Ili sat beside her, his arm casually resting on the back of the seat.
They hadn't spoken much since getting on the train. And for once, it didn't feel awkward.
Kouko finally sighed, shifting her scarf. "So… are you going to tell me where we're going?"
Ili grinned. "Nope."
She gave him a flat look. "You really don't have a plan, do you?"
He shrugged. "That's the plan."
Kouko clicked her tongue. "That's not a plan. That's just wandering aimlessly."
"Exactly."
She sighed again but didn't argue. Maybe wandering wasn't so bad.
First Stop: The Crowded Market
The train let them off at a bustling shopping district filled with narrow streets and small, lively shops. Kouko's senses were instantly overwhelmed by the scent of street food, the sound of vendors shouting, and the warmth of people moving around them.
Ili stretched his arms. "Alright, first stop—food."
Kouko rolled her eyes. "Of course."
They walked past stalls selling freshly grilled yakitori, warm taiyaki, and steaming bowls of oden. The air smelled like a mix of soy sauce and roasted chestnuts, making Kouko's stomach grumble slightly.
Ili turned to her, grinning. "You heard that, right?"
She crossed her arms. "No, I didn't."
Without hesitation, he bought two skewers of yakitori, handing her one. "Come on, eat."
She hesitated before accepting it. The first bite was warm, smoky, and rich with flavor. Kouko hadn't even realized how little she had eaten the past few days.
Ili watched her, satisfied. "See? Wandering isn't so bad."
Kouko just huffed, turning her attention back to the food.
Second Stop: The Random Side Streets
They wandered through narrow alleyways, filled with old bookstores, small boutiques, and hidden cafés. It was the kind of place most people walked past without noticing, yet somehow, it felt like its own little world.
Kouko paused in front of a tiny second-hand bookstore. She ran her fingers over the spines of the books on display.
Ili stood beside her, watching. "Thinking of getting something?"
She hesitated. "…No."
He tilted his head. "Why not?"
She glanced at him. "Because I already have too many books I haven't read."
He smirked. "And that's stopping you?"
Kouko sighed. He wasn't wrong. But still, she shook her head and walked away.
Ili didn't push.
Third Stop: The Handmade Jewelry Stand
The next street had tiny stands selling handmade crafts—keychains, embroidered scarves, and delicate silver bracelets.
Kouko's eyes lingered on one of the bracelets, the charm catching the soft evening light.
Ili noticed.
"You like it?"
She tucked her hands into her coat. "…It's nice."
He reached for his wallet. "Then I'll—"
"No," she said quickly.
Ili stopped, confused. "Why not?"
Kouko turned away. "I just don't want it."
She started walking again. Ili stared after her for a moment before following.
Something about that moment felt heavier than it should have.
Final Stop: The Park
By the time they reached the park, the sky was painted in soft hues of purple and orange. The city noise had faded, replaced by the quiet rustling of trees and the occasional chirp of birds settling in for the night.
Kouko sat on a bench, stretching her legs. The air was crisp but not unpleasant.
Ili sat beside her, tilting his head back. "Not bad, right?"
She hummed in response, staring at the rippling lake in front of them.
Then, for the first time that day, she realized something.
They had been walking all day.
Exploring. Eating. Talking. Laughing, even.
Just like before.
A lump formed in her throat.
She glanced at Ili, who was looking off into the distance, completely unaware of the thoughts swirling inside her.
I was with Ili all this time.
And I forgot to be sad.
Something about that realization made her chest tighten.
She swallowed, lowering her gaze to her hands.
"…Thank you."
Ili blinked, turning to her. "Huh?"
Kouko gave him a soft, bittersweet smile.
"For today," she murmured.
Ili studied her, something unreadable in his expression. Then he smiled, reaching over and flicking the end of her scarf lightly.
"Anytime."
She looked away, gripping the fabric between her fingers.
Somewhere deep inside her, she already knew this wouldn't last.
That's why she didn't take the bracelet.
Because if she did—it would feel too real.
The soft hum of the train filled the quiet between them. Outside the window, the city lights flickered past in blurred streaks, the cold glass fogging slightly from the warmth of the train's interior.
Kouko sat beside Ili, her body slouched slightly in exhaustion. The day had been longer than expected—not that either of them had complained.
Ili glanced sideways at her. Her hands were folded in her lap, her scarf tucked neatly around her neck. The rhythmic rocking of the train must have lulled her into sleep, because before he realized it, her head tilted—slowly, almost hesitantly—until it came to rest against his shoulder.
His breath caught.
For a brief moment, he didn't move.
The weight of her presence, the soft warmth of her hair brushing against his jacket—it was comforting . Familiar in a way he didn't quite understand.
He turned slightly, watching the steady rise and fall of her breath. In sleep, she looked peaceful, untouched by the storm of thoughts that always seemed to weigh her down when she was awake.
Ili hesitated, then shifted ever so slightly to make her more comfortable.
Kouko murmured something in her sleep, her brow creasing slightly before smoothing out again.
Ili swallowed, letting his head rest lightly against hers.
Just for a moment.
Just until the train reached their stop.
Weeks melted into each other, and the vibrant colors of autumn began to fade into the gray chill of approaching winter. November crept in with brisk winds that bit through jackets and sent fallen leaves scattering across the campus walkways. Despite the changing season, Ili found himself gravitating toward Koko, as if drawn by an invisible force he couldn't resist or fully explain.
The campus buzzed with the anticipation of the upcoming break, and Ili sat with his friends, Daiki and Haru, at one of the outdoor study tables, a thermos of steaming coffee between them. Haru was scrolling through his phone, complaining about an upcoming exam, while Daiki was animatedly explaining his latest plan to ask a girl out, complete with exaggerated hand gestures.
Ili tried to pay attention, really he did, but his gaze kept drifting across the courtyard, where Koko sat with her friends Rina and Mika. They were laughing, their voices carrying on the crisp wind, and Koko's laugh—bright, genuine, and just a little bit contagious—seemed to seep into his chest, warming him against the November chill.
Daiki nudged him with a knowing grin. "Caught you staring again, Ili," he teased. "You've got it bad, man."
Ili's face flushed, and he quickly looked down at his notes. "I don't know what you're talking about," he mumbled, but the way his heart sped up betrayed him.
Haru raised an eyebrow. "You've been zoning out every time she's around. Why not just ask her out already?"
Ili sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's not that simple," he said, his voice quieter. How could he explain the strange, persistent feeling that something deeper connected him to Koko, a connection he couldn't fully understand?
Daiki rolled his eyes. "You're overthinking it. Just be yourself, man. You're a great guy. Besides," he added with a wink, "she'd be lucky to have you."
Ili laughed, but it was a forced sound, hollow and uncertain. Being himself hadn't felt like enough for a long time, especially when it came to Koko.