1. Born to the Elves
Pain.
That was the first thing he experienced. Sharp and overwhelming pain drew him out of the comforting darkness. It was almost ironic—he had spent his entire life avoiding pain, responsibility, and anything that demanded effort. And yet, he was dragged back into existence, kicking and screaming. Literally.
"Push harder, Your Grace! The child is on his way!" A melodious voice urged, its panicked tones muffled but strangely clear.
"Wait… child?"
Before he could make sense of it, cold air slammed into him, and he became aware of everything: the wetness on his skin, the distant sound of a woman groaning, and the sharp cry of a baby—his cry.
"There is no way. I'm the baby?"
He was astounded by the realization. Memories of his previous life rushed back. The lazy days spent gaming, the endless browsing of questionable websites, and the nights spent chasing virtual waifus rather than real dreams. He had been a degenerate. A man with the ambition of a sloth and the ethics of a stray cat.
And then, of course, there was that moment: slipping on a pizza box mid-gaming marathon and cracking his head on his desk. What a way to go. Well, an unhealthy diet was bound to make the body faulty.
"Congratulations, Your Grace," a new voice interrupted his rambling thoughts. "It is a boy."
He felt hands lift him up, wrapping him in something soft. Slowly, his blurry vision adjusted, revealing a woman with ethereal beauty. Her long silver hair framed a delicate, angular face, and her emerald eyes glistened with exhaustion and warmth.
"Is this woman my mother?" He contemplated.
"Welcome to the world, my little Eryndor," she said quietly, her voice soothing and musical.
Eryndor? What sort of name is that? He wanted to laugh, but the only thing that came out was a baby's gurgle.
The next few days were a blur of feeding, crying, and endless adoration from his new parents. Eryndor quickly pieced together that he'd been reincarnated as the youngest prince of the Ethereal Elven Empire. A massive leap from the dingy apartment he had called home in his last life.
The elves were the peak of elegance and nobility. Everything about them screamed sophistication— their flowing robes, their graceful movements, their melodic speech. It was enough to make his old self feel like an unwashed potato in comparison.
But that didn't mean Eryndor's degenerate habits had disappeared.
From the very first time he opened his eyes, he couldn't help but notice details. His mother's beauty was almost blinding, and every elven maid that tended to him looked like they'd stepped out of a fantasy art book. Even at just a few days old, his instincts kicked in.
"This world is a goldmine! Beauties at every corner and I'm a prince at that." He thought to himself.
He didn't have the vocabulary or motor skills to express himself yet, but his internal monologue was already in full swing.
"Your Highness," one of the maids cooed as she carried him through the palace halls. Her hair shone like sunlight, and her smile was the definition of radiance.
This maid could be a heroine in a visual novel he guessed.
Her warmth distracted him until she gently pressed a kiss to his forehead.
"Blessings of the Ethereal Gods upon you, little prince." She said with a smile of compassion but to little Eryndor it meant something entirely different.
"She kissed me! Score!" He thought playfully. "The old me could not even get a girlfriend let alone kiss a girl and I got my first kiss before I turned one."
He immediately filed that moment into his growing mental collection of "Best Things About This Life."
It was on his seventh day of baby life that something unusual happened.
He was lying in a gilded crib, his tiny body swaddled in silken blankets relishing in the easy life of a baby, when a glowing screen appeared before his eyes.
[System Activated: Divine System of Degenerate Growth]
[Welcome, Eryndor Sylvaren. Your path to power (and personal enjoyment) begins now.]
Eryndor blinked. If he could move his hands, he'd have pinched himself. "Holy shit! Did I just hit jackpot?" He screamed in his head.
[As a reincarnated individual with questionable habits, this system has been tailored to suit your unique personality. Complete tasks, grow stronger, and earn rewards. Just don't screw it up.]
He couldn't believe it. A system? In real life? This was every gamer's dream!
[First Quest Unlocked:]
[Task: Make one of the palace maids laugh.]
[Reward: +1 Charisma, Unlock Skill: "Smooth Talker."]
[Failure Penalty: Permanent reputation as a boring baby.]
He stared at the glowing text, excitement bubbling within him. "This'll be easy. Finally, something to do besides crying and sleeping!" His small chubby face flinched barely forming a smile. Unlike before when he would be bored to death now he had something to do.
Over the next few days, Eryndor began experimenting with his limited abilities. He quickly discovered that being a baby had its advantages. No one expected him to behave a certain way, and the maids adored him regardless of what he did.
By making silly faces, babbling nonsense, and occasionally letting out the perfectly timed fart, he earned his first quest completion.
[Quest Complete! Reward Unlocked: +1 Charisma, "Smooth Talker."]
He grinned inwardly. "I could get used to this."