Jasper had learned a lot of things on this adventure, but there was one thing that had become crystal clear: If he was going to survive this job, he would need to start getting creative. Because at this point, trying to follow the "normal" beast taming methods wasn't just ineffective—it was straight-up suicidal.
After the tree bears, he felt like he was riding high on a wave of success. He'd managed to stay alive, keep the beasts happy, and—most importantly—not get eaten. His confidence had returned in small bursts, especially after realizing that maybe, just maybe, there was a sliver of a chance that taming beasts wasn't the worst job in the world.
And then he got the griffin job.
"Griffins!" Prunella had said excitedly, as if she were telling him they were going to visit a petting zoo. "They're a mix of eagle and lion, which means they're super majestic and proud. Totally up your alley!"
Jasper, as always, had his doubts. Every creature Prunella had introduced him to had been more dangerous than the last. By this point, "majestic and proud" were just code words for "wildly unpredictable and totally likely to rip you to shreds."
Still, he hadn't had the guts to back out of another job yet. And so, here he was again, trudging through yet another bizarre forest with Prunella—who had completely skipped breakfast, apparently, because she was way too chipper for this early in the morning.
After what felt like another eternity of dodging trees, thorns, and mysterious animal noises, they reached their destination: a cliffside overlooking a sprawling valley. And right in the middle of the valley, perched on the edge of a rocky outcrop, was a griffin.
Jasper took one look at the creature and felt his stomach drop into his boots.
It was huge, standing about eight feet tall with a lion's body and the head of an eagle. Its wings were folded against its back, the feathers shimmering gold in the light. It was regal, sure, but there was something about it that screamed danger. The sharp beak. The talons as long as his arm. The way it stared at him with an intensity that made his skin crawl.
"Prunella," Jasper whispered, feeling his throat go dry. "I'm gonna be honest here... That thing looks like it could eat me and my family for lunch."
"Nonsense," she said with a confident wave. "Griffins are known for their loyalty, but they don't just give that loyalty away. You have to earn it. That's the trick."
"Earn it?!" Jasper repeated in disbelief. "How? By offering it a sacrifice? Maybe a goat? Or do I need to serenade it with a song?"
Prunella laughed. "No, no. You just have to show it you're worthy of its trust. Give it a little... respect."
Jasper eyed the griffin once more. It eyed him back. "Yeah, I'm starting to think 'respect' is not going to be enough. Look at those claws. That's not 'respect.' That's intimidation."
"I promise, it's going to be fine," Prunella said, making her way toward the griffin as though it was a cute puppy. "I'll watch from here, just in case you need backup."
Jasper turned to stare at her. "No, no, you don't get to 'watch from here.' You're coming with me, and you're helping me distract it or whatever!"
"I'm just here for moral support," Prunella said with a wink, completely ignoring his plea for assistance. "Go on, you've got this."
Jasper grumbled. At this point, he was starting to think she might be a sadist. But there was no turning back. He was already too close to the griffin. Taking a deep breath, he cautiously stepped forward, trying to maintain a confident air. Inside, though, he was screaming.
The griffin tilted its head as he approached. Its eyes were golden and piercing, and it didn't blink as it studied him. The way it perched so elegantly made Jasper feel like the least majestic creature in existence.
"Hey, uh... griffin," he began, his voice shaky. "I'm Jasper. I've heard a lot about you, y'know? A lot of good things. People say you're awesome and super noble and, uh, generally chill. I don't know if 'chill' is the right word, but... you get what I mean."
The griffin made a low, rumbling growl from its throat, a sound that sent shivers down Jasper's spine. Okay, not exactly "chill," but it hadn't attacked yet, so that was something.
Jasper took another step closer, holding out a small piece of dried meat. "I brought snacks," he offered weakly. "You like snacks, right?"
The griffin's beak opened, and it took a long sniff of the air, its golden eyes narrowing as it eyed the offering. Slowly, cautiously, it took the piece of meat from Jasper's hand.
"Oh," Jasper said, sighing in relief. "Okay, we're off to a good start, right?"
But just as he thought things were going smoothly, the griffin let out a loud, harsh screech, flapping its massive wings. The gust of wind nearly knocked Jasper off his feet. It jumped into the air with terrifying speed and began circling above him, keeping its eyes locked on him.
Jasper panicked. He had no idea what he was supposed to do now. The griffin wasn't exactly attacking, but it wasn't being friendly either. He had to think fast.
"Alright, alright, calm down," he said, holding his arms out wide as if that was going to somehow change the griffin's mind. "I'm not a threat! I'm just a dude with some jerky! Let's talk this out, okay? Maybe... maybe I can do something for you?"
The griffin landed on a nearby rock with a heavy thud, its wings folding back as it stared at him like he was some sort of amusement. Then, after a long, dramatic pause, it opened its beak and spoke.
"Do you come in peace, human?" the griffin asked, its voice surprisingly deep and gruff.
Jasper stood frozen for a second. "Did... did you just talk?"
The griffin cocked its head. "I do. And you must answer. What do you offer me, human?"
Jasper blinked, trying to process what was happening. "Uh, I—what? I thought we were doing a taming thing, not... a riddle contest."
The griffin's gaze was unwavering. "A beast like me doesn't just serve anyone. You must offer me something worthy."
Jasper swallowed. This was officially the most ridiculous day of his life. "Alright, alright... what do you want? Gold? A shiny rock? A really good compliment?"
The griffin rumbled with amusement. "Something more precious than gold. A bond of trust."
"Trust?!" Jasper repeated. "That's... that's the whole thing, right? You just want me to, like, hang out with you?"
The griffin nodded slowly, its eyes narrowing. "Yes. Only then will you tame me."
Jasper sighed, relieved that it wasn't demanding a giant treasure hoard or a ransom. But still, this was ridiculous. "Alright, you weird, feathered lion thing. How about we start with a game of rock-paper-scissors?"
The griffin blinked at him, clearly confused. "What is this 'rock-paper-scissors' you speak of?"
"Trust me, it's how humans bond," Jasper said. "You'll love it."
And so, there they were—Jasper, standing on a cliffside with a griffin, attempting to bond over rock-paper-scissors.
As bizarre as it was, it worked. The griffin seemed to enjoy the simplicity of the game, its golden eyes gleaming with amusement.
Before he knew it, Jasper found himself laughing, the tension slowly melting away. He was taming a griffin. With rock-paper-scissors.
At the end of it all, the griffin allowed him to approach. And after a few more minutes of ridiculous bonding exercises, Jasper could feel that strange, unspoken trust beginning to form between them.
Prunella, who had been watching from afar, finally walked over with a grin. "I see you're making progress."
"Yeah," Jasper said, shaking his head in disbelief. "I'm starting to think this job is going to drive me insane."
But for the first time in what felt like forever, Jasper actually smiled.
Maybe this taming thing wasn't so terrible after all.
Maybe.