Zhang Tian sat at the bar with his glass untouched as the laughter and chatter of his friends blurred into the background. The neon lights of the Shanghai club painted everything in hues of pink and blue, but he felt like he was floating outside of it all. His best friend, Li Wei, stood beside him as he raised his glass along with the others as they cheered.

"To new beginnings!" Li Wei's voice rung out in excitement, and the group echoed his words in unison. Zhang Tian watched them as a hollow smile pulled across his lips. Yet, his heart was elsewhere, and it was somewhere far out of reach.

Tonight, they celebrated Li Wei, Li Wei was getting married. Zhang Tian should have been happy for him, except there was a knot in his chest instead. How long has it been since he had hidden the truth of his feelings for Li Wei as he buried them so deep that even now, all he could manage to do is watch from the sidelines.

Li Wei turned to him. He was a few inched taller, so he looked down upon Zhang Tian with his brows furrowed in concern.

"Zhang Tian, what's with the silence tonight? I don't think you've said a word," Li Wei said placing a heavy hand on his shoulder.

Zhang Tian's fingers tapped absently against the edge of his glass as he stared at him. The warmth of Li Wei's hands offering little comfort to him. Honestly, he just felt a surge of frustration that he was having trouble reeling in, but he said nothing. If the words had come out he would have ruined something he knew he couldn't live with. How could he possibly explain without losing Li Wei any further? How could he tell Li Wei that everything about tonight was tearing him apart?

"I had a pregnancy scare today with one of my girls today," Zhang Tian finally muttered, offering an offhanded inappropriate excuse that sounded like him. His face was flushed with the alcohol buzzing in his veins, it seemed to amplify his sensation rather than dull them. "Also, a long day tomorrow."

Except, Li Wei didn't seem convinced. How could anyone outside of his own body understand him so much? It seems Li Wei wasn't going to bother pressing further. Instead, he clapped Zhang Tian on the shoulder with a grin.

"Well, we've got plenty of time to celebrate tonight! Come on, its not every day your best friend gets married!" he cheesed to him.

Still, Zhang Tian couldn't join in. His smile faltered as the cheers continued. Every laugh, every clink of a glass, just felt like a reminder of the gap between them. He scoffed to himself knowing his parents were going to use this to push him into marriage too. It was also another reminder that Li Wei was moving on and was in fact leaving him behind.

The night wore on, but Zhang Tian couldn't shake the feeling that he was suffocating. Without saying a word, he stood up from the bar while Li Wei was distracted. His chair scraped across the floor as he made his way towards the door. The winter air was piercing, the city seemed indifferent to his feeling sweltering inside him.

Zhang Tian didn't noticed Li Wei had caught sight of him and started to follow him until he called out to him just as he was about to turn the corner.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Li Wei exclaimed, his voice growing quieter and concerned as he ran closer. "For real, are you okay?"

Zhang Tian only kept walking. It was almost time for Micaela to have to wake up. When he heard Li Wei's footsteps close behind him and he leaned his chin against his shoulder did he stop.

"Are you mad at me about something?" Li Wei whined; he could smell the alcohol on his breath. Zhang Tian spun around as he created distance between them.

"I'm fine," Zhang Tian answered with a smile. "Just…need to get rest. Told you long day tomorrow."

Li Wei was clearly unconvinced. He fook a step closer as his eye's searched Zhang Tian's face as if he was reading a book. As if he was trying to read him, and Zhang Tian knew he could, that why he lowered his face so he couldn't see.

"You sure? You're my best friend, I know when something is wrong with you," Li Wei pressed as he grabbed his wrist trying to pull his hand away from his face. "Why are you hiding your face from me?"

Zhang Tian fought to look away, his throat becoming tight the more they tussled. He didn't have an answer to anything he was asking. How could he explain the knot in his chest, the weight in his stomach? How could he tell Li Wei that his heart ached, not just from the joy of seeing his friend move forward with his life. It was from the knowledge that Zhang Tian would never be part of that part of his future as a…as a what secret lover? Did he expect he would be a husband to him?

As his gaze wandered, still trying to hide his face from Li Wei, he saw it—the simple silver wedding band on Li Wei's pale fingers. His heart dropped, a wave threatening to drown him. Seeing this was so final, so real. Li Wei was truly, truly leaving him behind.

Without thinking, Zhang Tian took a step forward, his hand shook as he grabbed the end of Li Wei's coat. It was almost instinctual, and desperate. He wasn't even fully aware until he did it.

Li Wei blinked in surprise as Zhang Tian leaned in, their face were just inches apart. Yet, he still held his wrist and he didn't move away as Zhang Tian stared at him. That seemed to be enough for Zhang Tian as he kissed him—a soft, lingering press. His heart pounded with every nerve in his body shaking and trembling. For a brief moment, he forgot the ring, the distance, and the fact Li Wei's life will one day include him less and less.

When he finally pulled away, his breath was ragged. His fingers fumbled to straighten up Li Wei's coat that had slipped of his shoulder. Li Wei stared at him as he looked stunned before Zhang Tian whispered, "Congratulations! Don't forget about me too much, okay?"

He ruffled Li Wei's hair like they were just two ole, heterosexual friends before. Zhang Tian didn't wait for any further reaction. He just turned and stumbled off into the night with his legs unsteady as the alcohol continued to cloud his mind.

When he got back to his apartment, Zhang Tian stumbled through the door. His mind spinning, and the apartment felt so cold and quiet as he stripped his clothes and made his way towards his refrigerated sleeping pod. The pod was his sanctuary, the place he could shut off from everything. His body could rest, and his mind could escape somewhere else. He needed a break from being Zhang Tian for the time being, and maybe even for good.

In Florida, miles away from Zhang Tian, Micaela Harper opened her eyes to find herself in the bed of the sterile confines of her lab. Her heart still hammered in her chest, and her hands trembled as she removed the shades from her eyes and the wires that connected to the neural interface port at the back of her neck where her neural interface implant was. The cold metal surface of the terminal before her flickered with the image of Zhang Tian's body, it very much alive, but comatose because of her inability to recover the consciousness of the original owner like she had promised his father.

The connection had been almost too felt real tonight. More than usual. She could feel everything—the warmth of his breath, the tension in his body, even the taste of the kiss they never shared. Even the feelings that was gnawing at his chest still lingered in her own. Yet, the actions were not Zhang Tian's, but her own.

Her fingers gripped the edge of the bed as she struggled to breathe. Her chest felt tight with guilt. She had done it again. She had connected with him, used his body, his essence, to fulfill the unspoken desires she slowly developed for Li Wei over the years. Tears blurred her vision as she laid back on the bed.

"Why the hell did I do that?" she whispered to herself with the words tasting bitter in her mouth. "Why do I keep doing this?"

She wanted to stop. She should stop. But she couldn't. Not yet. Not until she had everything—until Zhang Tian's life with Li Wei was hers completely. Until she could have the life with him, she had always imagined. That was what her mind kept telling her to do, and it even screamed it.

She wiped away her tears with her voice breaking as she spoke softly to the empty room, "Maybe it's about time I stop and just let Zhang Tian die. I can't bring him back…"

At this point, she wasn't even trying to bring him back like initially planned.

No! she heard her own voice scream in her head.

"Why not?" she said to herself as she rolled onto her side. Her eyes stared out into the window, there wasn't even a point of getting out of bed. She had long abandoned her own life to maintain Zhang Tian's.

Deep down, she knew nothing she was telling herself was true. As long as his body still functioned, as long as the mind transference technology was blueprinted in her mind, she would still keep him alive. She would keep him alive anyway she could just to keep Li Wei close—no matter the cost.