##POV: Amara
I Woke Up After the Crazy Night
I woke up with the sunlight filtering through the curtains, an intense brightness that seemed to mock my state of mind. The previous night still echoed in my mind like a distant echo, and I wondered how I had come to this point. Nael was my nephew. The thought hit me like a punch to the stomach, and I forced myself to remember the details of that insane night.
He was only 18, but there was a depth in his gaze that defied his youth. It was as if he carried the weight of experiences that shouldn't belong to someone so young. I remember how he followed me down the hallway, his steps silent and determined, while I tried to ignore the growing tension in the air. He seemed like a shadow, always close, always attentive to my movements. There was something hypnotizing about his presence — a mix of innocence and malice that left me confused and intrigued. I knew we had crossed lines before, and he hadn't even turned 17 yet, but I didn't know anything at that moment; he was just a killer and a prostitute, and I was a trafficker with many problems.
The words that came from his lips were like sweet poison, seductive and dangerous. "Stop trying to resist, I know you want to," he whispered in a tone that made my heart race. Each syllable was wrapped in promises of forbidden pleasure and unexplored discoveries. I fought against temptation, but I knew that flesh is weak, and he knew that weakness all too well. He didn't just guide me to the room; he dragged me to a place where morality faded into smoke.
When I finally gave in, it was as if the world around us had disappeared. The room was shrouded in soft twilight, shadows dancing on the walls as our bodies intertwined in a primal dance. The heat of his skin against mine was electrifying; each touch ignited a flame I feared I couldn't extinguish. The sex was intense and visceral — an explosion of sensations that left me breathless. It felt like we were dancing on the edge of an abyss, each movement taking us deeper into an uncontrollable desire.
The pleasure was overwhelming, but soon it mixed with a wave of guilt that hit me hard. "The forbidden is always the sweetest," I thought as memories of that night intertwined with the shame growing inside me. How could I have allowed this to happen? The idea of being with my nephew was unbearable, yet at the same time, there was something irresistible about that intense connection.
Reality began to set in when I realized our relationship wasn't just complicated; it was devastating. The weight of guilt piled on me like a storm about to burst. Every thought about what we had done felt like a dagger plunged into my heart. How could I look into the eyes of those around me without them seeing what had happened? The idea of being discovered terrified me; every glance seemed to probe my soul.
If anyone noticed how difficult it was for me to walk — my legs still trembling from the impact of that night — questions would start to arise. Memories of that night replayed in my mind like a torturous film: his whispers, the warmth of our bodies together, pleasure mingled with guilt. And so I found myself trapped between desire and shame, between love and hatred for myself.
Insecurity grew inside me like a constant shadow. I wondered if there was something wrong with me for having given in to such intense desire. How could I have let this happen? The fear of being judged by those around me made everything even more complicated; I didn't know how to deal with this new reality.
My life had never been easy. I am the fifth among four brothers, each marked by a dark destiny forged by our father's cruelty. The oldest, Kendrick, had been turned into a weapon since childhood. He spent his entire life in hell, molded, tortured, and used as a tool for our father's interests. That man felt no pain — or if he did, he no longer knew what it was. Kendrick became immune to physical and emotional pain, an unrelenting machine. He never knew what affection or love was. His heart was as calcified as the bones his body bore, and his eyes, once alive, were now empty as if he had lost himself forever in that abyss of suffering.
In his selflessness, Kendrick took on the burden of protecting us all. When our father decided to take us away, he put himself in the line of fire, offering to suffer in our place. He promised to be strong, but that meant becoming a monster, a figure feared by everyone around him. The truth is he became a shadow of his own humanity. There were no more emotions or willpower left in him. He was the weapon and nothing more. And everyone knew: if there was someone in the White family who should never be provoked, it was Kendrick.
The second brother, Valete, received Kendrick's training. Valete was the most bloodthirsty of all. His temper was explosive as if he were about to consume himself from within at any moment. However, this made him the most effective one. He wasn't just brutal; he was calculating. Kendrick's training molded Valete not only as a fighter but as a machine of destruction. When he was around, silence filled the environment like a storm approaching without warning. He was the kind of person you knew if you crossed paths with would have no return. And the pain he caused? It was always disproportionate. Valete didn't care about rules — he was the rule itself. He felt no compassion. And with that came someone even the family didn't want to challenge.
Then there was Ethan, the third brother. Among all of us, he was the most irreverent, always ready with a joke or a mocking smile. Despite his sharp humor, he possessed a dark side — a chaotic side that made us question how far he would go. He was known as the "heartbreaker." Apparently indifferent to everything — even consequences — he flirted, seduced and abandoned in an insatiable game of power and pleasure. Although he was the most womanizing member of our family, his actions were often seen as an attempt to fill a void that no one could understand. Strangely enough, despite his flaws, there remained a flicker of humanity within him — one that prevented him from becoming as cruel as Kendrick or Valete. He was the most "human," but in a corrupted way; perhaps that's why I felt drawn to him.
Lastly came Ivan — my favorite brother. When we were younger, he was my protector — the older brother who always made me feel safe. Ivan had light that no one else had in our family. But all that changed when he was kidnapped. No one ever told me exactly what happened that day; things were never quite the same afterward. He returned different — lifeless eyes and no smile on his lips anymore. Ivan became a specter of himself — the black sheep of our family who soon began losing himself in shadows: prostitutes, drugs — eventually something darker emerged from him too: he developed a terrible "hobby" — raping defenseless girls. That destroyed me inside out; how could my brother turn into a monster? But worst of all was knowing that despite everything he'd done, he'd never touched a child; deep down that's what kept me trying to maintain some connection with him — telling myself there still had to be something good left in him; maybe he could still be saved? But it seemed increasingly impossible.
And finally there's me — the youngest one who grew up observing my older brothers' examples while trying to be strong like Kendrick or cruel like Valete or unflappable like Ethan or protective like Ivan once had been for me long ago. My heart divided between wanting to be as invincible as Kendrick while hoping desperately to save Ivan — my brother who once had been my greatest hero; since childhood I'd felt protected by his presence; but now he'd lost himself completely and I didn't know how bring him back anymore so instead clung onto something resembling hope: weapons!
I sought out Ethan — only besides Kendrick did he master combat skills with arms; slowly but surely I grew stronger learning how to fight and defend myself not depend on anyone else but deep down knew what truly wanted most wasn't power but saving Ivan!
I wanted so badly to be the protection he'd always been for me yet simultaneously felt increasingly alone lost amidst fragments shattered family each one reflecting nightmare without end! Tried to find meaning within chaos yet pieces of life so dark nothing seemed capable of restoring them!
I slowly got up feeling weight day still hanging over shoulders walked bathroom hot water pouring down shower felt only thing capable easing pains legs carried needed moment isolate let warmth wash away at least bit emotional burden suffocating! Steam forming around me dense fog obscuring everything else! Didn't know how long I stood there before realizing late water was still not ready to step out!
Stepping out of the bathroom wrapped warm mist dissipating slowly, a reflection mirror gaze appeared empty looking back seemed like a woman wasn't even myself anymore, never felt distant self! Didn't know becoming a person staring back wasn't someone recognized completely to weigh house responsibilities choices … all engraved those lines face once smooth youthful!
Still dazed, wandered closet clothes neatly arranged rigid impersonal order, chose pieces almost thoughtlessly, something worn before didn't make me feel more myself! Putting clothes felt automatic gesture routine survival! But admiring the self mirror's strange sensation took hold! Different yet nothing changed, reflected that women learning to adapt to the world no longer made sense!
With spirit heavy continued towards the meeting room I knew the day would tense something about burst! Houses about to catch fire, not just conversations would unfold tension building storm waiting strike! When I entered the room everyone was already there, the atmosphere charged furtive glances and closed expressions! It felt like everyone knew conflict was imminent yet no one wanted to take the first step!
And then as if destiny wanted to have fun saw him! Nael! My nephew! He stood there emerging from the hallway , the same impassive expression always wore! When we met in the center room, heavy silence hung in the air! Didn't know whether presence mattered him but look exchanged spoke louder than words could express Nael stood there unaware everything carried chest not fully comprehending weight represented! But fact being here distant gaze reminded just how much things changed time seemed relentless transforming boy once knew!
We sat down while feeling impotence enveloped us each knew moment tension heralded a greater storm ahead! Could feel the house trembling underweight secrets we held within walls themselves seemed to cry release everything carried! Air thickened sensation about break palpable thus all hearts heavy minds restless awaited inevitable!