CARISSA'S POV
The ache in my chest feels like it's been carved into my very soul. I sit on the edge of my bed, hugging my knees to my chest as tears spill down my cheeks. My breaths come in shallow gasps. I've never felt this kind of pain before.
It's not just the physical pain—that sharp agony that feels like claws raking across my heart. No, this is something deeper. It's the image burned into my mind of Alpha Jaime with those women, his lips on theirs, his hands on their bodies, him being inside them, his smirk full of satisfaction.
And he made me watch it all.
I feel a fresh wave of tears coming. I bury my face in my hands, trying to hold back the sobs that shake my frame. The bond I have with him feels like a cruel joke. I'm his mate, tied to him by fate and the universe itself, yet he hates me simply because I'm an omega.
The word echoes in my mind like a curse. Omega. The lowest rank. A servant. A nobody.
I know better than to dream that he and his brother might care for me, but it doesn't stop the longing. The bond makes me feel connected to him, even if that connection is one-sided.
I sniffle and wipe my face with the back of my hand, forcing myself to take a deep breath.
"It'll get better," I whisper, though the words sound hollow even to me. "This is just... a bad day."
I look around my small dark room. The walls are bare, and there's barely anything inside but it's my space. A place where I can hide from the world.
Things can't get any worse, I tell myself.
The exhaustion weighing on me pulls at my eyelids, and I let myself sink back onto the thin mattress. My body feels heavy, and for a moment, I think sleep might finally take me.
But then, like a lightning strike, the bond flares to life again.
A sharp pain rips through my chest. It seems so intense that it feels like my ribs are being cracked open. My eyes fly wide as a scream tears from my throat. I clutch at my chest. The agony steals my breath as I fall off the bed and onto the cold floor.
"No!" I gasp. "Please, stop! Please!"
The pain doesn't stop. It gets even worse with time. It comes in waves. It crashes over me and leaving me trembling. I know what this means. One of them—Jaime or Kaine—is doing it again.
I claw at the floor, trying to ground myself, but it's useless. The bond is too strong, too unforgiving. It punishes me for something I didn't choose, for something I can't control.
"Why?" I sob "Why does it have to hurt so much?"
I cry out again. My body curls in on itself as I rock back and forth on the floor.
"Please," I whisper, though I don't know who I'm begging. The Moon Goddess? Jaime? Kaine? Fate itself? Life?
The pain doesn't answer. It just keeps tearing me apart.
Minutes feel like hours as I lie there, trembling and broken. My voice grows quieter. My sobs turn into soft gasps as exhaustion takes over. I clutch my chest, where the pain still stays.
I don't know how much more of this I can take.
-
The next morning, I wake up to light coming through the curtains. My body feels like it's been put through a grinder. Every muscle aches, and my chest still throbs from the bond's punishment. I barely slept last night—every time I closed my eyes, I'd feel that pain or see Jaime's face as he kissed those women.
I try to push myself up, but my arms shake under the effort. Groaning, I lean back against the wall. I take shallow breaths to steady myself. The air in my small room is stale, and the blanket on the floor where I collapsed during the night is still tangled around my legs.
A soft knock on the door startles me. Before I can respond, it opens, and a maid steps in carrying a tray of food. She doesn't meet my eyes.
"Good morning," I say. I clear my throat and manage a weak smile. "Thank you for bringing this."
She sets the tray on the small table by the window, still avoiding my gaze.
"How are you?" I ask her.
"I have other tasks," she mutters, already backing toward the door.
"Wait," I say quickly, trying to sit up straighter. "How are you today? I—"
"I need to go," she interrupt.
With a quick bow of her head, she hurries out, closing the door behind her.
The room feels even emptier than before.
I sigh and pull the tray onto my lap. The food is plain. It's a slice of bread, some cheese, and a small bowl of soup. It's not much, but I'm too drained to care. I pick at it slowly when the door swings open again.
"Moon Goddess, Issa, what is this disaster?" Amy's voice fills the room before I even look up.
I blink at her, startled. She stands in the doorway with her hands on her hips. Her expression is a mix of horror and disgust as she looks around.
"Amy," I start, but she cuts me off with a dramatic wave of her hand.
"Don't 'Amy' me," she says, stepping inside and kicking aside a pile of clothes on the floor. "This place looks like a war zone. Have you been living like this?"
I shrug, setting the tray aside. "I haven't exactly had the energy to clean up."
Amy wrinkles her nose but doesn't comment further. She pulls a chair over and plops down beside me "You look terrible. What happened?"
I hesitate "It's... Jaime."
Her eyes narrow. "What did he do now?"
I take a shaky breath. The words spill out before I can stop them. "Yesterday, he... he made me watch. Two women. On his bed. He—" My voice cracks, and I look away. The tears sting my eyes. "It hurt so much, Amy. Not just the bond. Seeing him like that. Knowing he enjoyed it."
Amy's lips press into a thin line. "And what exactly did you expect, Issa? He's the Alpha. He's powerful, and he does what he wants."
"I know that," I snap "But the bond—he knows it hurts me, and he doesn't care."
Amy crosses her arms, leaning back in her chair. "Maybe it's your fault for not rejecting them."
I gape at her. "I tried! I've tried so many times, but it doesn't work. It's like the bond is holding on tighter every time I push against it."
"Well, maybe you're not trying hard enough," she retorts,.
My fists clench in my lap. "You think I want this? That I enjoy being tied to someone who hates me?"
"I think you're stubborn," she says flatly. "You keep clinging to this idea that the bond will make things better, that they'll suddenly see you as more than an omega. But they won't, Issa. They never will."
Her words hit me like a slap.
"That's not what I'm doing," I whisper.
Amy shakes her head, standing abruptly. "You know what? I'm done. You've made your bed, Issa. Enjoy lying in it."
She storms to the door "You deserve everything you get from this point on."
The door slams behind her, leaving me in stunned silence.
I sit there, staring into space in shock. Her words ring in my ears. You deserve everything you get.
The tears I've been holding back finally fall, and I bury my face in my hands.