Wisdom #1
Evolve
The grooming room was a simple one though it was one
of the room where great men were made in Orban, but i
do not know what my nemesis would be for the next 14
days, but I would have to bear all that will come my way
for the next days.
Effiom was the leader of Utund the grooming cult,
though he was very but of the third custodian of the
wealth of Orban, he was the first teacher that will help to
groom me to be the husband for Enewang, it was a
belief that the supreme God had given wisdom to all
African through their elder and here am I to meet with
these sage. At the time of my initiation was 7 men who
will be groomed with me, Ansa, Edem, Eninn, Efiok,
Itaam, Otu and Ita.
We were given mats made of raffia, local lantern made
from clay, and four piece of Nsibidi wrapper to be taken
for our clothing our other clothing were taken away. We
were taught to use these wrapper in different ways.
♤♤♤
"When the Caterpillar Is tired of being The caterpillar It
will evolve Into a butterfly, It is only by evolving That one
can attain Is required Beauty Any man who refuse To
change It's Look Will remain Unattractive the beholder,
One most Embrace the different stages In life One must
be ready To shade skin To let go Of its Scale One must
Be ready To embrace the newness That come change'
Effiom side and gave room for question
Ansa: 'am a man of valor and pride, I do not stoop low
for a woman to joke per say'
'your pride is the respect of your wife, the good word of
her behaviour around you. Ansa have you seen an egg
lay another egg? Effiom ask
"no" everyone chorus
Effiom: it's the hen that lays the egg and the egg must
evolve to be the hen. So in this life process comes
before beauty. 'today you start your process of
becoming a man to your family. You will shade your
previous character :fend embrace a new one.
Eninn: life need patience, but men do not have enough
of it to give to life, we want every thing in Swift manner.
Effiom: look at the sun it will rise when the time is due it
will set when due, the tree grow at it appointed time,
even death will come in his time, in all there is patience.'
At the moment he call for a chassis to be filled with coal
and hand over to Eninn. He had one duty to make fire
from the coal. He proceeded to his duty and lights the
coal from a touch hanging at the corner of the house,
then fan it into a red hot coals.
Effiom: in the journey of chance one must first know
what he wants, then proceed to take action in doing this
life become a process to gain stability. My father told me
a story of the wolf who became a sheep, he shaded his
skin and took the wool of the sheep on his bare, went
among the sheep and was welcome for years he never
show his face then came one he was in the argument
with one of his now fellow then he show the trait of the
wolf in him from that day the sheep stay far away from
him, because in the of evolving he did evolve his
character.
Me: does it mean that we should let go of our past for
the past is who we are, our future is a stranger.
Effiom: learn wisdom from the coal it let go of it
blackness and did embrace the reddish look the it
became, the real beauty of whom your are meant to be.
Great men who are weak can be strong if they chose to
explore their weakness and abandon it and embrace the
great quality of finding themselves.
Me: in my travel I have seen several men who grew to
become Heroes in their communities and become the
father figure which their children would want to look up
to but I've never think I can embrace such a pathway
because in life my equals after always put me behind
most of them are said to some of them are successful
so tell me how do you want me being weak in my
thinking to evolve.
Effiom: our ancestors usually say that a smooth sea will
not make a good sailor. Life will always come with its up
and down, but it is our duty to choose either up or down
it is a sacred duty to direct our path. If you want to climb
the roof of your house you must use a ladder and when
you use a ladder you must go through the steps on the
ladder our ancestors are wise they understand what it
takes to make a man that's why this grooming school
was established as to our child not to lose the value.
Ita: I have come to know that the skin of the snake is not
the same skin which the snake was asked when the
snake grows up shade is skin and a new one who then
take over we are men We Will Live behind our wisdom
that which will learn which profited not an embrace that
we brings and which accomplished.
The first day was finish.
WISDOM #2
MATURITY IS WAY
The morning was as cloudy as the first day I arrive at
Orban we could hear the drumming from the
Neighboring Village osak utan and they are speculations
that it is the the drumming for their masquerade which
pay pay respect to their late ancestors.
It was a duty to take care of the Grooming School a
cleaning exercise for schedule for the day and it was a
collective effort to see that the environment is a serene
and calm, we went to the stream that morning and had
our Bath. When will return we prepare for the first
meeting with our bride they would come and spend
sometime with us it was a process of getting the couples
to bond with each other are this moment we are expect
to express our great level of maturity and not to get
carried away by emotions this was the first test of
amateurity. I've had many people say that in relationship
or marriage there is nothing like love if the man is
committed to you or a woman likewise this is a great
show of love for commitments is the currency which love
receive you will need a great deal of commitment to be
able to bound with your wife. they make those feel as
though was a taboo.
The Grooming School was well designed with painting
of charcoal mixed with oil and on the walls we are
several paintings of Nsibidi and and one of those
painting that got my attention was that which you can
read the meaning life Is Love. There are other paintings
on the wall paintings left by ancestors at the end of their
grooming time would you live and inscription letting us
know that to journey way embark today that a lot of men
have already been on that same journey. And the act as
encouragement for us. Enewang came in company of
maids, with basket s of food for the day for it was duty of
she who chooses the groom to feed the groom
throughout the period of grooming. She told me on how
the women in the market congratulated her though they
never knew are Groom was before I was a total stranger
alone traveler who have found favor she told me how a
mother never light her to rest, yesterday was the
Gathering of the women for the king had broke the news
to his wife who would inform the women of the
community that one of the young women was off the
market and 8 others were also off the market too in
which that no man Can approach them for marriage.
She spoke of the gifts that floats in to the compound
ranging from firewood to White traditional chalk to
rapper and more we are still coming in this morning why
is the median accompanied her to the grooming house.
While we were in the process of discussing one of the
Elders at the Grooming house announced to us that it
was time to resume the lectures for the day and it meant
that our bride would excuse us.