Janus always says there's no such thing as secrets in the hospital. The walls are too thin, the rooms too close, and everyone talks like nobody else is listening. That's probably why Oriel and I are crouched just outside the director's office, trying to catch every word.
It wasn't my idea to eavesdrop—well, not really. Oriel saw Janus get called into the office and immediately decided we had to "investigate."
"What if he's in trouble?" I whispered as we snuck down the hall.
Oriel had rolled his eyes. "Janus? He's the poster boy for good behavior. If anyone's in trouble, it's probably you."
Now, we're huddled behind a potted plant that's seen better days, my IV pole awkwardly wedged between us. Oriel is leaning in close, his ear practically pressed against the door, while I sit nervously, glancing up and down the hallway every few seconds.
Inside, I can hear the muffled voice of Dr. Reynolds, the hospital director. His tone is calm and serious—the kind of voice grown-ups use when they're about to change your life.
"Janus, this is a rare opportunity," Dr. Reynolds is saying. "A full scholarship to a prestigious school in New York City doesn't come around often, especially for someone in your position."
My stomach twists. School? New York City? What is he talking about?
Janus's voice comes next, quieter but clear. "I'm honored, Dr. Reynolds. Really, I am. But… I can't just leave. Sao and Oriel need me."
Oriel glances back at me, raising an eyebrow. I shake my head quickly, signaling for him to keep listening.
"Sao and Oriel have been here for years," Dr. Reynolds says gently. "They'll be taken care of. You've done so much for them already, but this is your chance to focus on yourself for once."
There's a long pause, and I can practically feel Janus's hesitation through the door.
"I don't know," he says finally. "I'd have to talk to them. If they're not okay with it, I can't go."
Oriel pulls back from the door, his expression unreadable.
"What do you think he's going to do?" I whisper.
Oriel shrugs, but his jaw is tight. "Doesn't matter. He'll do whatever he thinks is best for everyone, like he always does."
I frown. "And that's a bad thing?"
Oriel doesn't answer, which is honestly more unsettling than if he'd said something snarky.
The door opens suddenly, and we barely have time to scurry back before Janus steps into the hallway. He looks surprised to see us, but only for a second.
"What are you two doing here?" he asks, crossing his arms.
Oriel raises an eyebrow, his expression cool. "Taking a walk. What about you?"
Janus sighs, running a hand through his hair. "How much did you hear?"
"Enough," I admit quietly, staring at the floor.
Janus glances between us, his shoulders slumping. "I was going to talk to you both anyway," he says. "Let's go back to your room."
Back in my room, Janus sits on the edge of my bed while Oriel leans against the wall, arms crossed. I sit in the middle, my IV pole parked awkwardly next to me.
"So?" Oriel says, his tone sharper than it needs to be. "What's the big plan, Janus?"
Janus looks at me first, then at Oriel. "Dr. Reynolds offered me a scholarship to a school in New York. It's a huge opportunity—one I probably won't get again."
"Why?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
"Why what?"
"Why would you want to go?"
Janus's face softens, and he reaches out to take my hand. "It's not that I want to leave. It's that… maybe I need to. For once, I could do something for myself. Something that doesn't revolve around this hospital."
Oriel lets out a bitter laugh. "Wow. That's touching."
"Oriel," Janus says firmly, his voice steady but not unkind. "I know this sounds selfish. But I wouldn't even consider it if I didn't think you two would be okay."
Oriel snorts. "Sure. We'll just sit here and wait for you to come back, right?"
"Oriel, stop," I say, my voice trembling.
He looks at me, his expression hard, but he doesn't say anything.
Janus squeezes my hand gently. "Sao, how do you feel about it? Be honest."
I blink back tears, trying to find the right words. "I don't want you to go," I admit. "But… if it's important to you, then I think you should."
Oriel scoffs but doesn't interrupt.
Janus leans forward, his voice soft. "It is important. But so are you. Both of you." He looks at Oriel now. "I wouldn't even consider this if I didn't think you'd be okay. And if something happens, I'd come back in a heartbeat."
Oriel finally speaks, his voice cold. "Do whatever you want, Janus. It's not like it's up to us anyway."
"That's not fair," Janus says, his voice rising slightly.
Oriel pushes off the wall, heading for the door. "Fair? You're leaving. What's fair about that?"
The door slams behind him, and the silence that follows feels heavier than anything Oriel could've said.
Janus sighs, his head in his hands. "I didn't mean to hurt him."
"I know," I say softly, squeezing his hand.
Janus doesn't move for a long time, and I sit there, holding his hand, wishing I knew how to make everything okay.