Kenji Takahara was 17, and if there was one thing in life that was more important than breathing, it was his phone. This wasn't just a hobby; it was an obsession. His classmates would be busy worrying about their grades, their social lives, and their future. Kenji, on the other hand, had one focus: Dungeon Grinder X, a mobile game that was his entire world. It was an unspoken rule that if Kenji was near, he was either playing Dungeon Grinder X or talking about it. And in that moment, he was winning—or at least, that's what he told himself.
The sun was beginning to set, casting a golden-orange glow over the bustling streets as Kenji walked home from school. His phone was gripped tightly in both hands, his eyes fixated on the screen. He was too busy to notice anything around him. The sight of a crosswalk, pedestrians walking by, or the fading sounds of kids playing tag in the background? All of it was irrelevant.
Kenji was on the verge of unlocking the Soul Blade, the most coveted item in the game. A blade so powerful, it could destroy entire armies with a single slash! Or, at least, that's what the game's descriptions said. He'd been grinding for weeks to earn it. Weeks. This wasn't just any item; this was the item.
"YES!" Kenji yelled as he successfully completed the final quest and watched the virtual chest pop open. But just as the chest began to shine with golden light, his victory was interrupted by a deafening HONK.
Kenji froze.
What happened next could only be described as tragicomic. With the casualness of a cat deciding to take a nap on the kitchen table, a massive truck, a Speedy Express Delivery truck, appeared out of nowhere. The truck, which looked like it belonged in a monster movie rather than a city street, screeched to a halt mere inches from Kenji. The driver was obviously distracted, probably texting and ordering fast food at the same time, because he didn't even notice the kid standing right in front of him. The truck's massive grill filled Kenji's entire field of vision.
BAM.
And just like that, Kenji was launched into the air like a ragdoll caught in a windstorm. His body twisted and flipped in a completely unrealistic fashion, like something out of a poorly animated cartoon. The world around him became a blur of neon signs, streetlights, and vending machines, until everything went black.
Kenji awoke with a gasp.
"Well, that was unexpected," Kenji muttered, blinking rapidly as his vision returned. He felt... oddly comfortable? It was bright—blindingly bright—and he had no idea where he was. It wasn't the usual home, school, or anywhere he recognized. He was, quite simply, in the middle of nowhere. Actually, scratch that. He was in the middle of nothing. There was just white. White everywhere. It was as if someone had taken all the colors and thrown them out the window. All Kenji could see was the void.
"Ugh, did I die or something?" Kenji muttered to himself, sitting up. His head spun as he tried to make sense of the situation. "Wait, did I just... get hit by a truck and then end up in... Heaven?"
Kenji stared at the endless expanse around him. His mind raced, trying to comprehend the sheer absurdity of the situation.
"Well, I guess this is it," he said, rubbing his temples. "Truck-kun really did it. Guess I won't be getting my Soul Blade after all. What a way to go. What was I thinking, walking around like that? Should've been more careful! Stupid mobile games."
As he wallowed in self-pity, a voice suddenly interrupted his thoughts. "Oh, hey! You're awake!"
Kenji jerked his head up, his heart nearly stopping in his chest. A figure appeared before him. This figure—if you could even call it that—was... a guy who looked like he hadn't had a decent night's sleep in centuries.
The man was lounging lazily behind a desk, as though he had all the time in the world. His hair was messy and unkempt, as if he'd just rolled out of bed. He was wearing a white robe that seemed far too comfortable for someone who was supposed to be, you know, all-knowing and divine. He was casually sipping a mug of coffee, which, as far as Kenji could tell, was the only thing this guy cared about at the moment.
Kenji stared. "Uh... are you... God?"
"Yup! That's me!" The man grinned widely, flashing a thumbs-up. "Call me 'G,' though. Short for God. G's fine."
Kenji blinked. "Wait, wait, wait—you're God? You don't look like—like the God I thought you'd be! You're just... some guy! And what is this place?"
"Eh, don't judge me. I'm on break, okay?" G said nonchalantly. "And this? This is the afterlife. Pretty typical, right? Nothing too fancy. You're dead, kid. Truck-kun got you. But you're probably used to that, huh? I see this stuff all the time. People die in weird ways. You'd be surprised how often it happens."
Kenji's jaw dropped. "Wait, I'm dead? Like for real? And... what do you mean, 'Truck-kun'? What does that even mean?"
G raised an eyebrow, sipping his coffee again. "Ah, you know, that's just a thing people say. It's like a meme or something. I didn't make it up, don't look at me."
Kenji couldn't process this. "So, I'm dead, and you're God, but... this is just a waiting room?"
"Basically," G shrugged. "But I've got better things to do than explain every little detail to you. So here's the deal: I'm sending you to a new world. You get to be the hero! Dungeons, dragons, magic, the whole nine yards. You'll be great."
Kenji blinked. "Wait, wait, hero? Like... I get superpowers and stuff?"
G's expression didn't change. "Sure, yeah, whatever. You get a sword or some magic. Probably a hero's title or something. Look, it's not like I'm gonna hand you the Soul Blade, though. That's your thing, right?"
Kenji's face brightened. "You've heard of it?"
"No, but I like pretending I know what people want," G said, taking another sip of coffee. "Anyway, you're going to this fantasy world, and I'll even toss in a 'System' to help you out."
Kenji's mind raced with excitement. "A System? Like those RPG games?"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," G waved him off. "You'll figure it out. You're smart."
Before Kenji could ask another question, a bright light consumed him, and suddenly, he was falling. He screamed as the world around him spun uncontrollably.
The next thing Kenji knew, he was on his knees in a dimly lit room. He could taste dirt in his mouth, and when he looked up, his heart nearly stopped.
He was in a throne room. And not just any throne room—it was dark, eerie, and filled with an unsettling energy. There were massive stone pillars lining the walls, and the air smelled like rust and old blood. The floor beneath him was cold and uneven.
At the end of the room, sitting on an ominous, black throne, was the Demon King.
Kenji gulped. The Demon King was the embodiment of terror. He had flowing white hair that contrasted sharply with the black armor covering his body. His eyes glowed a deep crimson, and the air around him practically hummed with malicious power. His face was stern, unyielding, and as he looked down at Kenji, it felt like he could kill him with just a glance.
And, of course, there were a dozen other demons around him—huge, snarling beasts with claws and fangs. Some of them looked bored; others looked like they were preparing to eat Kenji alive.
Kenji couldn't even speak. His mind was racing. This was not the world I was expecting...
"Who dares to enter my castle?" the Demon King boomed, his voice echoing throughout the room.
Kenji, shaking in his boots, finally managed to stammer, "I-I-I don't know! I'm just here by accident! I was sent by—"
"Silence!" The Demon King's voice cut him off, making Kenji flinch. "Who sent you here, human? Speak!
Before Kenji could say anything else, a sudden ding echoed in his mind.
SYSTEM: Welcome, Hero!
Kenji stared at the glowing message hovering in front of him, his blood running cold. The golden letters sparkled like they were trying to taunt him. "Hero? What?!"
The Demon King tilted his head, his crimson eyes narrowing in confusion. "What is this 'system' you speak of, mortal? Who are you talking to?"
Kenji clenched his fists, glaring at the glowing text. "Are you kidding me right now?! I'm surrounded by demons! There's a literal Demon King in front of me, and all I get is this stupid floating message?!" He jabbed his finger at the air, as if that would make it go away. "This is the worst day of my life!"
The demons around him exchanged puzzled glances, their snarling expressions replaced by bemusement. The Demon King, however, didn't share their amusement. He leaned forward on his throne, his voice deep and commanding. "Enough of your nonsense. Who sent you here? Speak, or I shall tear the answers from your soul!"
Kenji opened his mouth to reply, but another ding cut him off.
SYSTEM: Starter Weapon Acquired! You've been granted a Hoe of Destiny!
A sudden weight appeared in Kenji's hands, and he looked down to see... a gardening hoe. Not a sword, not a bow, not a staff—just a plain, ordinary farming tool. It was rusty, the handle had a splintered crack running down the middle, and it looked like it had been stolen from some poor farmer's shed.
Kenji blinked. "What the hell is this?!"
The Demon King squinted at the hoe, unimpressed. "A gardening tool? Are you mocking me, human?"
Kenji's brain scrambled for answers. No, no, this has to be some kind of secret weapon, he thought. Maybe it was enchanted? A hidden relic in disguise? A weapon so powerful that its true form could only be unlocked in a moment of dire need?
He gripped the hoe tightly, forcing a confident grin. "Oh, you better believe it's more than just a gardening tool!" Kenji declared, puffing out his chest. "This is the Hoe of Destiny! A legendary weapon bestowed upon only the most worthy of heroes!"
The demons collectively tilted their heads like confused puppies.
The Demon King's crimson eyes narrowed, his lip curling in disdain. "You expect me to believe that?"
Kenji smirked, his bravado growing. "Believe it or not, old man, this hoe is about to send you straight to the underworld! Prepare yourself!" He waved the hoe dramatically, the rusty blade glinting weakly in the dim light.
Kenji's confidence surged. For the first time since he'd arrived in this nightmare, he felt like he had the upper hand. He pointed the hoe at the Demon King. "Say your prayers, Demon King, because this hoe is gonna—"
SNAP!
The hoe snapped in half.
The room fell into a dead silence. Kenji stared in disbelief at the broken handle in his hand. The rusty blade clattered to the ground, spinning pitifully before stopping near the Demon King's feet.
"...You were saying?" the Demon King asked, his tone dripping with mockery.
Kenji blinked, his mind racing. "Uh... That was just a warning shot! Yeah, you better watch out! The real power of this hoe—"
Before he could finish, the Demon King stood up from his throne. His towering figure loomed over Kenji like a shadow of death itself. With a speed that defied his massive size, he appeared in front of Kenji in the blink of an eye and swung his armored fist at the boy's head.
WHAM!
The punch connected with a sickening crunch, sending Kenji flying across the room like a human cannonball. He crashed into a stone pillar, leaving a comical human-shaped dent before collapsing onto the cold floor in a heap.
The demons burst into laughter, their monstrous voices filling the room. Even the Demon King chuckled, shaking his head. "Pathetic. And you call yourself a hero?"
Kenji groaned, his body sprawled out like a pancake. His vision blurred, but a faint ding sounded in his head again.
SYSTEM: Congratulations! You've unlocked the title Hoe-less Hero!
Kenji let out a weak groan. "Oh, come on..."
The Demon King returned to his throne with an air of complete disdain, his glowing red eyes fixed on the groaning heap of a so-called "hero" sprawled on the cold stone floor. He leaned back, tapping his fingers against the armrest of his dark, spiked throne.
"This is the great hero the heavens sent to challenge me?" he mused aloud, his deep voice reverberating through the chamber. His army of demons chuckled in unison, their laughter a mixture of mockery and malice.
Kenji struggled to his feet, clutching the broken handle of the hoe like it was some kind of lifeline. His legs wobbled as he tried to steady himself, his body battered and his ego in tatters. "Y-You think… you can… intimidate me?" he sputtered, trying to summon the last vestiges of courage. "I'm not done yet!"
The Demon King arched an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Oh? Do you have more rusty farming tools to throw at me? Shall I fetch you a rake, perhaps?"
The chamber erupted in laughter again, and Kenji's face flushed with humiliation. "L-Laugh all you want, but… but I'm not going down without a fight!"
"A fight?" the Demon King repeated, his tone sharp as a dagger. His laughter stopped abruptly, and the room fell silent. The temperature seemed to drop as an oppressive aura filled the air. The Demon King stood, his towering figure casting a long shadow over Kenji. "I've had enough of this nonsense."
Kenji gulped, his bravado rapidly fading. This guy is serious now... What do I do? What do I do?!
The Demon King extended his hand, and a dark, crackling energy began to swirl in his palm. The power radiating from him was overwhelming, suffocating even, as if the entire weight of the world was pressing down on Kenji's chest.
"You've wasted my time long enough," the Demon King growled, his voice dripping with menace. "If the heavens think they can mock me with you, then perhaps it's time I return the favor. Let's see how they like their hero... as something less than human."
Kenji's eyes widened in horror. "W-Wait, what? Something less than—?!"
The Demon King's grin widened, revealing sharp, gleaming teeth. "Perhaps a toad will suffice? Or maybe a slug? No, I know… a chicken. That would suit you perfectly."
Kenji's jaw dropped. "A chicken? Are you serious right now?!"
The Demon King ignored him, raising his hand higher as the dark energy coalesced into a glowing orb of pure malice. The air crackled with electricity, and the ground beneath Kenji's feet began to tremble.
Kenji flailed his arms in panic. "Whoa, whoa, WHOA! Can't we talk about this?! I-I'm not even supposed to be here! This is all a mistake! Blame God, not me!"
The Demon King sneered. "Silence! Your pitiful excuses won't save you now. Prepare to meet your end, you insignificant worm!"
Kenji's life flashed before his eyes—not that there was much to flash. A montage of late-night gaming sessions, instant ramen, and failing gym class wasn't exactly the stuff of legends.
He closed his eyes, bracing for the end. "Oh, come on! This isn't fair! At least let me finish my—"
The Demon King unleashed the orb of dark energy, a swirling mass of destruction, straight at Kenji.
BOOM!
TO BE CONTINUED...