I don't want to die.
I don't want to die.
These are the only thoughts that occupy my mind as I keep moving.
With each of my steps, the sound of cracking snow reaches my ears.
I cannot say how long I have been walking.
One thing is certain, all I see around me is a vast silvery expanse dotted with trees with pointed leaves.
Impossible to guess how far I have left to go to this "neighboring town" that Cora told me about.
Damn, I hardly feel anything in the limbs anymore. What could be more normal after three days of walking without eating or drinking anything. At this rate, hunger and cold will get the better of me before white lead disease.
My body is heavy and sleep weighs on me. The idea of simply letting myself fall in the snow, so that I might be able to end it without suffering too much crosses my mind.
No, I don't have to.
If I die, my benefactor's efforts will never be rewarded. He who struggled, ran from hospital to hospital in order to heal me, finally died there. Corazon will never rest inpeace.
I take a scalpel out of the little bag hanging from my waist. And there ...
- Aaah!
I deliberately lacerate my left arm.
- There ... Like that, goodbye sleep!
After having dressed my wound, I resume my walk. In my condition, a boar or wolf attack would be fatal for sure, but I try not to think about it.
I continue my journey towards the city.
Towards this "neighboring town"where Corazon and I have made an appointment.
Lights...
Yes, there is no doubt that it sounds like city lights.
Saved, I am saved!
Right when uttering these words, I feel my step relieve a weight. Once there, I will find something to eat, I can swallow a hot soup and sleep soundly on a soft mattress!
A few running steps and here I am already at the foot of the outer brick walls. On the sign hanging at the entrance is written in large: "Pleasure Town". So that's the name of the "neighboring town". I did not realize it from afar, but the place is full of people. It reassures me, I tell myself that if I call out to one of them, he will surely lead me to his place where I can rest warm.
I run at full speed. I rush towards people to stop someone.
But suddenly, I freeze, my legs no longer respond.
I remain dumbfounded, standing at the entrance to the city, and suddenly remember everything that has happened to me so far.
I remember the persecution suffered because of the white lead disease.
The hatred of people, their restrangement, the wounds they caused, it all comes back to me.
All these memories that I would like to forget resurface one after the other.
The quarantine of Flevance, my hometown nicknamed the White City, by those people who believed white lead disease was contagious.
The government that abandoned us, the war that began, and my father, my mother, my sister and my church friends who were murdered.
I also remember my flight, hidden in a mountain of corpses.
In the despicable way we were treated when Corazon and I toured the hospitals.
Memories all more miserable than eachother.
The day my town was burnt down and my loved ones killed, I decided that I would no longer believe in anything or anyone.
When I subsequently joined Doflamingo and the Don Quijote Family, it was only because before I died, Iwanted to turn the world upside down.
I only had one thing left: despair.
However, Corazon was the only one to cry for me.
The only one to cry and, in his sobs,to pronounce my name.
While, for me, this world was nothing more than the anteroom to hell, and I thought I had nothing more to hope for from anyone, the way Cora acted towards me prompted me to give them a second chance to people and to believe in the human again.
But now my body refuses to move.
I am afraid to enter this city which is teeming with people.
I tell myself that if it happens, they will be hitting me again. That I will be hurt even more than I have ever known.
Just thinking about it causes fear in me cuts my legs and makes me tremble.
Despite everything, I manage to take one step, then two, and enter the city. I advance a little and I speak to a person in the process of removing snow:
- Uh ... Excuse me!
- Ah, hello ... But, your face ...
Damn, I'm discovered. She knows I have white lead disease. I can already see her gaze assail me. A look of hatred. A look that always expresses the same thing: you son's deserve to live.
- A ... Wait!
I hear this woman's voice, but I don't stop. I keep running until I come out of town. I did not find the courage to continue this conversation.
What a lousy thing.
Cora. Looks like despite all the love you gave me, I still can't trust people.
I wander aimlessly before entering a cave sighted near the seaside. Here, I should be able to stand the cold. My stomach is growling, I wish I had something to eat. Luckily, I found a bunch of dry branches that had fallen near the cave and spared by snow. I can see thick and thin ones.
I pick a few good skinners and use the spin method to start a fire. How ironic that a survival technique learned within the Don Quijote Family could be of use to me at such atime. I bring my hands closer to the crackling flames. Aah, a Little warmth.
However, now is not the time to praise me. I tell myself that I should hunt to get a good piece of meat, but I'm at the end of my rope and this choice definitely doesn't seem very realistic to me. So I tie a thread to the end of a branch chosen at random, dig the ground in search of an earthworm that I in turn hang, and drop my line in the sea from the nearest cliff . Despite the poor quality of my improvised fishing rod, I immediately caught two beautiful, very fatty fish.
I'm too hungry, I won't hold out any longer. I hurry back to the cave, where I empty the fish before skewering them and cooking them. A pleasant smell arises from my brazier. Um, that sounds good. I will swallow these fish in order to regain my strength. Then I will sleep a bit before considering the rest.
As I think about it all, a violent pain invades my body.
My limbs, my head, my back, it hurts all over. Bad enough to want to scream. I find it more and more difficult to breathe. Bad luck, I knew it could fall on me at anytime. I should have been more careful.
Three years and two months. This is the calculation I made from the medical data left by my parents, my life span from the day I caught white lead disease. Almost three years have passed since then. At the time when I was traveling alongside Corazon, it happened to me to have a crisis that it would not be surprising that I die from one moment to another!
So what? What should I do?
Certainly, I ate the fruit of the scalpel. According to Corazon, it seems that whoever swallows it becomes capable of rearranging bodies at will and curing any disease.But it is not for all that a fruit that confers magical powers. The mere fact of eating it does not allow you to heal.
Until I learn to harness his powers, Iwill remain helpless.
Piss off!
Spontaneously, I hit the ground with my fist. I have fever too. I smell death, it's right there. You know that feeling that all your strength has left you? My legs wobble, I stagger and fall backwards.