The infernal castle wasn't known for being quiet, but lately, it felt like chaos had taken on a new form: Yumi and Akuma's endless arguments.
"You left your dirty socks on my side of the bed *again*! Do you think I enjoy sleeping next to your sweaty demon stink?" Yumi yelled, her voice echoing through the stone halls.
"Oh, I'm sorry, princess. Maybe if you didn't hog the entire bed, my socks wouldn't end up there!" Akuma shot back, slamming the door to their shared room so hard the frame cracked.
Downstairs, Kikidori sat in his usual spot by the fireplace, exhaling a long puff from his fake flower cigarette. The fragrant smoke curled upward, mixing with the faint sulfuric air of the castle. He glanced toward Ere'ana, who was flipping through a celestial book on parenting.
"I swear, they're going to kill each other before they make it to their second anniversary," Kikidori muttered, shaking his head.
Ere'ana frowned, barely looking up. "Maybe if you intervened once in a while instead of sitting there acting 'cool,' they wouldn't argue so much."
Kikidori smirked and tapped the ash off his cigarette. "Nah, that's married life. They'll figure it out—or they'll tear each other apart. Either way, it's entertaining."
From across the room, Kael, now three and far more aware of his surroundings, groaned loudly and flopped onto the couch. "Can't they just shut up for five minutes? My head hurts," he whined, rubbing his temples like a miniature adult.
"Welcome to married life, kid," Kikidori said with a chuckle, handing Kael a glass of juice. "Get used to it."
Kael frowned, taking the juice but glaring up at his father. "Is that why you and Mom are always fighting too?"
Kikidori almost choked on his cigarette. "Hey, we don't fight like *that*," he said defensively. "We're... passionate."
"Passionate, my ass," Ere'ana muttered under her breath, earning a sharp glare from Kikidori.
Upstairs, the shouting match between Yumi and Akuma continued to escalate.
"Maybe if you actually helped out around here instead of spending all your time working out, I wouldn't have to nag you all the time!" Yumi shouted.
"Working out is literally how I stay strong enough to protect you and this family, Yumi! But sure, let's focus on your petty complaints instead of the fact that I'm out here risking my ass for all of us!"
"Protecting us from what, Akuma? The *laundry monster*?!"
The door slammed open, and Kael stormed in, his tiny fists clenched and his little wings fluttering in frustration. "Would you two shut up already?! You're worse than the wailing souls in the pit!"
Both Yumi and Akuma froze, staring at the furious three-year-old. For a moment, the room was dead silent, save for Kael's heavy breathing.
"Did... did you just compare us to the wailing souls?" Yumi asked, blinking in shock.
Kael nodded, glaring at them with all the authority his tiny frame could muster. "Yes! You argue all the time, and it's annoying! Can't you just be normal for one day?"
Akuma scratched the back of his neck, looking sheepish. "Uh, sorry, kid. We didn't mean to bother you."
Yumi sighed, kneeling down to Kael's level. "We're sorry, Kael. We didn't realize we were being that loud."
Kael crossed his arms, his face still scrunched up in irritation. "You should apologize to each other too. Isn't that what married people are supposed to do?"
Yumi and Akuma exchanged a look, both feeling a twinge of guilt. Finally, Akuma sighed and held out his hand. "Alright, I'm sorry for yelling."
Yumi took his hand, rolling her eyes but smiling faintly. "I'm sorry too. You're still a slob, though."
Akuma chuckled. "And you're still a pain in the ass."
Kael groaned. "That's not an apology!"
Downstairs, Kikidori and Ere'ana listened to the muffled conversation, both suppressing laughter.
"Kid's got a point," Kikidori said, smirking.
Ere'ana closed her book and sighed. "Maybe Kael's more mature than we give him credit for. At least someone's trying to keep this family together."
Kikidori leaned back in his chair, taking another puff of his cigarette. "Yeah, well, he's gonna need that maturity if he wants to survive being a demon."
The sound of laughter filtered down from upstairs—Yumi and Akuma's, mixed with Kael's high-pitched giggle.
"Well," Ere'ana said, smiling faintly. "At least they're laughing now."
"For now," Kikidori replied, exhaling a plume of smoke. "But give it an hour. They'll be back at each other's throats."
Kael came barreling down the stairs a moment later, his wings fluttering excitedly. "Mom! Dad! They stopped fighting!"
Kikidori raised an eyebrow. "You sure? Or is this just the eye of the storm?"
Kael puffed out his chest, grinning. "Nope! I fixed it. I'm the best."
Ere'ana chuckled, pulling him into a hug. "You're definitely the best, Kael."
Kikidori ruffled Kael's hair. "Not bad, kid. Maybe you should be the one running this family."
Kael beamed, but his grin quickly faded as Yumi's voice called from upstairs: "Kael! Did you touch my stuff?"
Kael's eyes went wide, and he bolted for the kitchen. Kikidori laughed, shaking his head.
"Yep. Definitely my kid."
End of Chapter 3