Yumi lay sprawled on the couch in the castle's grand living room, scrolling mindlessly through her phone. The flickering red glow of Hell's eternal fires seeped through the grand windows, but Yumi barely noticed. She was too busy laughing at some stupid meme in a group chat.
"*This dude's head looks like a rotten potato,*" Yumi muttered to herself, snickering.
Kikidori sat in an armchair nearby, pretending to read some ancient demonic text but clearly bored out of his mind. Ere'ana was somewhere upstairs, probably doing something angelic and dignified, which left father and daughter alone to stew in their collective restlessness.
Kikidori sighed loudly, closing his book with an audible *thud*. "You've been on that thing for hours, Yumi. You're gonna rot your brain."
Without looking up, Yumi replied, "Yeah, and you've been alive for centuries. Don't see you getting any smarter."
Kikidori raised an eyebrow. "Smart enough to raise *your* smart-ass, aren't I?"
Yumi smirked but didn't bother responding. Kikidori watched her for a moment, then glanced around the room, his eyes landing on a worn, soft tennis ball Cerberus had chewed up earlier. A mischievous grin spread across his face.
He picked up the ball, casually tossed it in the air a couple of times, and then lobbed it at Yumi.
The ball arced across the room in slow motion—before smacking Yumi squarely in the side of her head with a satisfying *boop* and bouncing onto the floor.
Yumi froze.
The silence that followed was deafening. Kikidori fought the urge to laugh, but a low chuckle slipped out anyway.
Yumi slowly lowered her phone, her goth eyeliner making her glare even more intense as she turned to face him. She picked up the ball, gripping it tightly in her hand. "Oh, you *really* wanna play this game, old man?"
Kikidori leaned back, completely unbothered. "Bring it on, kid."
Yumi stood, her expression shifting into something between annoyance and pure determination. She took the ball and wound her arm back like a professional pitcher.
"Hope you've said your prayers, Dad," she muttered, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"What's the worst you can do?" Kikidori said, grinning smugly.
The second the words left his mouth, Yumi launched the tennis ball with a force that could only be described as hellish. It shot across the room like a fiery comet, too fast for Kikidori to react.
*BAM!*
The ball struck him directly in the groin.
Kikidori's eyes widened, his confident smirk dissolving into a look of pure, unfiltered pain. He let out a strangled noise that was somewhere between a gasp and a groan, clutching his lower half as he slid off the armchair and onto the floor.
Cerberus, who had been napping in a corner, perked up at the commotion and wandered over to sniff the fallen tennis ball.
"OH MY FUCKING SATAN!" Kikidori finally managed to yell, still curled up on the floor.
Yumi stood there, arms crossed, a victorious smirk plastered on her face. "What was that, Dad? 'What's the worst you can do'? Guess you found out."
Through gritted teeth, Kikidori muttered, "It's fine... it's fine... I already had kids, right? Don't need the equipment anymore."
Yumi burst out laughing, doubling over as tears of amusement streamed down her face. "Oh my god, Dad, you sound like you're trying to convince yourself more than me!"
Kikidori glared at her but couldn't help cracking a pained smile. "You're lucky I like you, you little shit."
Cerberus, now sitting next to Kikidori, barked once before picking up the tennis ball in his tiny Chihuahua jaws and trotting back to Yumi, dropping it at her feet.
"Oh, you want me to do it again, Cerberus?" Yumi asked, picking up the ball and eyeing her dad playfully.
"Don't you *dare,*" Kikidori growled, trying to stand up but clearly still recovering.
Yumi rolled the ball in her hands, pretending to consider it, before tossing it aside. "Relax, old man. I'll spare you this time. But only because I don't want Mom yelling at me for killing you."
"Damn right," Kikidori muttered, finally managing to get back to his feet. He winced slightly, adjusting his stance, and pointed a finger at Yumi. "You're lucky you're my kid. Anyone else would've been turned into ash for that."
"Yeah, yeah," Yumi said, waving him off. "Admit it—you're proud of my aim."
Kikidori snorted. "Not gonna lie, that was impressive. But you're still grounded."
"What?!" Yumi exclaimed, her jaw dropping.
"For life," Kikidori added, smirking as he limped out of the room.
Yumi stared after him, a mix of disbelief and laughter bubbling up in her chest. "You're such an asshole!" she yelled after him.
From somewhere in the castle, Kikidori's voice echoed back, "And you're still a virgin!"
Yumi groaned loudly, flopping back onto the couch and pulling a pillow over her face. Cerberus jumped up onto the cushion beside her, curling into a loaf-sized ball of fluff and letting out a contented sigh.
"Why do I even live here?" Yumi muttered into the pillow.
Cerberus barked once, wagging his tail.
The End of Chapter 27