Is this still bad luck? This is damn misfortune!
My body has become a "habitat" for Yan Xiaoni, and it's under her "surveillance" all day long. Taking a shower or going to the bathroom—those private moments—have all become her "sightseeing time." Although she's thick-skinned, I still have some shame! Not to mention, if I really tried to pursue Xiao Xiang, with this "ghostly nuisance" in the middle, how could I talk about love? As for getting intimate? Forget about it, just the thought of someone staring at me up close, I'd probably get impotent on the spot.
"Hey, Xiaoni, can we discuss this?" I forced a smile and said in the lowest voice possible.
"Sis?!" Her voice exploded in my head, "Do I look that old? Let me tell you, I was only twenty when I died, still younger than you."
"Okay, okay, Xiaoni, my little sister." I quickly changed my tone, but inside I shuddered. You've been dead for so many years, and you still don't count your age? They say ghosts grow wiser with age, and it seems that's really true.
"Sis, you see," I steeled myself and continued, "I still don't have a girlfriend, and if you keep messing around, it'll be even harder to find one. Just stay for tonight, and tomorrow I'll help you find a sturdy host, like Director Chen from the academic office. He's as strong as an ox, you'll definitely be satisfied!"
She actually giggled, and her voice carried a tone that sent chills down my spine: "I'm not looking for a gigolo, whether he's strong or not doesn't matter. And—your yang male body, that's exactly what I like."
My stomach clenched, and countless curses flashed through my mind. Why does this sound so weird? So you're not looking for a gigolo, but for a pure virgin boy? I may not have had a girlfriend, but I've preserved my innocence! Thinking about this made me feel even more wronged.
"There are plenty of yang males, Xiaoni, why stick to me?" I grinned, trying to persuade her.
"Huh?" Her voice turned cold, "How do you know I'm hanging around?"
I shivered all over and almost wet myself. A ghost who hanged herself? That's the type I fear the most! The image of her tongue sticking out, eyes bulging, just thinking about it gives me the creeps.
"Haha, I was just kidding," she suddenly laughed again, "Don't be afraid, I'm not a hanging ghost." She paused, then shifted her tone, "But if you keep talking, I'll make you mute, do you believe it?"
"Yes, yes!" I quickly shrank my neck, afraid to say another word, looking like a scared little mouse.
After a moment of silence in the darkness, she suddenly said softly, "That's better. I like obedient boys. By the way, we're going to be neighbors, so let's introduce ourselves. I'm Yan Xiaoni, and you are?"
"Neighbors?!" My mind screamed. Who would want to be neighbors with a ghost?! But I dared not say it out loud. I had no choice but to honestly introduce myself: "Zhang Zheng."
"Hmm, a pretty ordinary name, just okay."
I rolled my eyes inwardly: Your name's not much better, Yan Xiaoni, sounds like a pickled vegetable, nothing special.
Before I could finish my internal mocking, she continued, "What bad thing did you do tonight, that so many girls are chasing you down?"
"What else could I have done?" I sighed helplessly and told her the whole story about sending mooncakes. This made that little ghost laugh out loud, her voice echoing in my head, making my eardrums hurt. My face turned beet red, feeling utterly embarrassed.
"You like that girl named Xiao Xiang, don't you?" After laughing, she suddenly asked, "How about I help you win her over, as rent?"
Upon hearing this, I instantly felt a glimmer of hope. If a ghost could help, maybe this could actually work! "How?" I asked eagerly.
"Simple, I'll scare her a little, and you can heroically save her. It'll work, right?" Yan Xiaoni's voice carried a confidence that somehow made me trust her.
While imagining the "hero saving the beauty" scenario, I suddenly saw Xiao Xiang walking out of the dormitory building. She was holding the box of mooncakes I gave her, standing under the streetlight, seemingly waiting for someone.
I had a thought: Is she waiting for me to come back and thank her? I might not need to be a hero after all.
However, as I got closer, the expression on her face immediately made me go from hope to despair.
"Xiao Xiang..." I called out tentatively.
"Zhang Zheng, please stop bothering me, okay?" She said coldly, stuffing the mooncakes back into my arms. "I already have a boyfriend. Please don't waste your time."
Hearing this, my heart sank. I was still in a daze when Yan Xiaoni's voice rang out in my mind: "She has a ghost on her, grab her quickly, or something bad will happen!"
When I heard the words "has a ghost," I snapped back to reality. Without thinking, I grabbed Xiao Xiang's arm: "Don't go!"
"What are you doing?!" Xiao Xiang stared at me, her eyes full of suspicion.
"Quick, give her some yang energy!" Yan Xiaoni urged.
"Huh?!" My mind short-circuited, and without thinking, I kissed her.
"Slap!" A crisp slap made me snap back to my senses, and then another knee to my groin. The pain made me fall to my knees, clutching my crotch and screaming, "Xiao Xiang, I was trying to save you!"
Her face was full of fury, and with a shout of "Pervert!", she ran back into the dormitory.
"What about the ghost on her?" I gritted my teeth and asked Yan Xiaoni.
"Ghost? What ghost?" She giggled. "I just wanted to see if you'd dare kiss her, and you actually did, haha, so fun!"
"Yan Xiaoni!" I clenched my teeth, my heart filled with mixed emotions.