In this subterranean world, night lasts continuously, but the longer I stay here, the more fascinated I am by life here, as the lack of sunshine matches perfectly my dark feelings.
Dressed in a navy-blue dress that is longer than my height, I sit on the concrete steps that lead to the castle. Resting my cheek on my hand, I watch the creatures, who, having a moment of spare time, carelessly run in front of the stairs without paying attention to me.
They don't have to, because they have permission from their master to rest.
I still can't stop thinking about the paintings in the hallway, especially the one that shows me bathing in the blood of a murdered girl.
If I was such a beast in my previous life, why was I reborn as a human being? Why was I given a chance for a new life?
- I'm sorry I lied to you, but I needed some explanation to get you back to the castle. - I look over my shoulder and look at Abaddon, who sits down next to me. - Although centuries ago I really loved you very much, you destroyed everything. It was because of you that we were punished. - I furrow my eyebrows, but don't speak, intending to listen to what he has to say. - I know that it will come back, that you will eventually regain your true nature and memories, so don't blame me for forcibly dragging you here. I had no choice.
- I don't understand anything of what you are saying. Tell me directly what happened a century ago.
Abaddon looks ahead, pondering for a long moment, and I follow every inch of his face with my eyes.
- I mentioned to you before that you were sick with love. It came to the point where I was trapped in your web, Jennie. Referring to my words that you were unable to fall in love with any man, my point was that your heart still remembered me, your sick adoration for me.
I try to be serious, but at some point I feel like laughing.
- Are you kidding me? Are you trying to make me believe that I was obsessed with you?
- That was a century ago, Jennie. We were lovers for thousands of years. At first, we both had deep feelings for each other, but when you started to change, my love for you faded, and I tried to become at least your friend. I cared about you and struggled to see you through, because I was unable to stop protecting you.
- What happened that our relationship took a wrong direction, and I became a monster out of jealousy?
- A woman you considered a rival appeared.
- The murdered woman in whose blood I bathed?
- No, it was just one of your victims, once you went completely insane.
I squint, not taking my eyes off his face.
- So, what was this woman like?
- Irene," he whispers, and I feel a strange sting in my heart. - There's a reason you hated her so much at first.
- Wasn't Irene an Angel before? How did she end up in the underground world then?
- She was sent by heaven to find a fallen man who was hiding in our world. She was one of the best, angelic guardians.
- So by then you had already fallen in love with each other? The fact that she was your protector when you were reborn as a human was no coincidence? - Abaddon nods in response. - So why did you treat her so rudely that day when you kidnapped me?
- I had to spurn her, I wanted her to hate me at all costs, because I'm afraid she'll come back here, and you'll end up hurting her.
- Do you think I'll do it after all you've told me? I'm different now, it's not possible.
- The oracle revealed to me that the past will become the present again. She warned me that your memories would return, that you would return.
- So it's the demented woman.... - I rub my forehead and look at him obliquely. - If you know that this nightmare will become real again, why are you telling me about it?
- I hope that with this you will be able to control yourself, that you will be more understanding and change your view. We have the best relationship when we are friends. I am afraid of your love, Jennie, even though I am the king of the underworld. Your true self is terrifying.
This all sounds terrible, I should understand the situation, but somehow I am unable to accept it and just parry with laughter. I look at him with amusement in my eyes, thinking he is coloring it too much.
- Abaddon, I saw the picture, but I really can't believe that a century ago I was a monster. So, explain to me ... why did they give me a chance, why was I reborn as a human being? Shouldn't they have annihilated me if they had the chance?
- In fact, we were about to be punished, but you gave us something beforehand that saved us from that, and we disappeared to be reborn as humans.
- Why were you punished along with me?
- Because despite everything, I protected you until the very end. I believed that it was my fault that you went mad, and I wanted to bear the punishment along with you.
I feel like Abaddon is telling me about someone entirely different. I still don't allow myself to think that ages ago I experienced such a story.
- As for those images... - Abaddon looks concerned. He is probably afraid of the question I want to ask him. - I saw the name of the painter. His name was Seth.
I could swear that the corner of Abaddon's mouth lifts upward, but there is no smile on his face, he tries to look serious.
- Seth loved to paint you, and I let him, because he was the only one with whom you could be calm.
- Was it a demon? One of your subordinates?
- Seth was my friend. He is an Egyptian devil. He had a sister, Sekhmet, who was the Egyptian goddess of vengeance.
- Were they? So what happened to them?
- They were also punished by trying to help you.
- So they were reborn as ordinary people? - My voice betrays how surprised I am.
- Yes, although their lives were also full of suffering, exactly like ours.
I don't know why, but the Egyptian siblings made me associate with Lisa and Thomas. Especially since they were friends of Abaddon, and after they committed suicide and became demons, he took them under his roof.
Is it just a coincidence?
- Are they still alive?
- I don't know what's going on with them," he replies hastily.
I'm not going to question him any further. If he likes, he will tell me more about it himself.
*
- Mania... - I open my eyelids, hearing a snarling call. I think the voice sounds just above my ear, but when I look around the chamber, I don't see anything.
What kind of name is this? Why have I been hearing it more and more often lately? The worst part, however, is that every time I don't see anyone around.
Am I delusional?
I rise from the bed and comb my hand through my blond hair, looking around the interior. Although at times I don't know what to do with myself and can't seem to find an interesting activity, I've managed to get to like this place. It seems to me that with each passing day I begin to understand that I actually belong to the underground world.
This was, is and always will be my true home.
I walk toward the large mirror and look at my reflection. Dressed in an ecru-colored satin long nightgown, I feel no embarrassment about not wearing underwear and parade this outfit boldly in front of Abaddon every time.
Is this already a sign that something strong connected us in previous lives?
- Mania... - Again I hear the snarling whisper right next to my ear, but in the reflection of the mirror I see no one.
- Have the audacity to appear," I address the mysterious phantom.
It is surprising to see the figure of a man with blue hair right behind me. The most shocking thing, however, is that he looks like someone I know.
- Thomas?
He crinkles his eyebrows and places a transparent hand on my shoulder.
- Seth. Do you no longer remember me, dearest?
Confused, I stare at the apparition, trying to make sense of it. My guesses in connection with demonic siblings may have been a hoot, but why is Thomas' soul behind me when he lives as a Faerie in the human world?
- Seth? The painter?
He nods in response.
- Mania... This longing for you for many years was an unbearable pain. Now it gives me joy to look at your beautiful face.
- What are you?
- A scrap of soul that is trying to find its body.
I swallow my saliva harder, clenching the material of my satin shirt in my fists.
- Who were we to each other that your longing for me was so strong? - I ask in a stifled voice.
- Lovers, dearest.
The phantom dissolves into the air as Abaddon enters the chamber. His footsteps are directed at me, and his stern face betrays that something has happened.
- What's going on?
The man grabs my forearms and shakes me lightly, looking as if his anxiety is related to me.
- You started to get your memories back and didn't mention anything to me about it? What are you playing at, Jennie?
I look at him uncomprehendingly, as I don't know what he means.
- I haven't recovered even the slightest scrap of memories, so I don't understand what you're talking about, Abaddon. Are you crazy?
- I saw it. The creatures led me to the sculpture with our likeness, which is behind the castle, and there I saw with my own eyes the writing you left. This is your handwriting. - I open my eyes wider, embarrassed by the judgments he throws in my direction, as they are untrue. - The creatures were witnesses, they followed you. They saw you writing frightening words, and there was a sinister smile on your face.
- They are telling you nonsense, Abaddon! I would give my head that I have not been to that place! Everyone here hates me and tries to destroy me at all costs, and you just believe them like that?
- I believe because it's your handwriting, and what's worse, you left a sentence there that you said to me before we disappeared. It's impossible for anyone else to hear it.
- What kind of sentence is this! - I ask in a raised voice, fed up with his judgment. - Because it seems to me that I must have been under the influence of some kind of spell since I don't remember anything.
- "We belong to each other. I will find you in the next life and annihilate you if you don't manage to love me again." - His eyes look scared as he repeats these words to me.
- So you're saying I told you this before I lost my body? - If I hadn't been nervous, I probably would have laughed because it sounds like a dramatic foreshadowing of a lover's war. - OK, I may have said it, but you won't make me believe that I wrote that sentence while being in my right mind. I swear I remember literally nothing from my previous life.
His grip becomes stronger, and his eyes redden with anger.
- Don't try to hide anything from me, Jennie.
- What are you so afraid of?
- As soon as you start remembering something, tell me right away. This time we will change our future, Jennie.
He loosens his grip, then turns on his heel and leaves the chamber. I sit down on the bed, wondering if I really could have done it. How, when I don't remember anything? Or does a scrap of my soul live in this castle, as in the case of Thomas?
Is it possible that I was possessed by Mania?