About nine years ago I picked this book up.
I had nothing in mind for it.
No plan in particular.
I just knew that it would be worth something to someone someday.
I started to write to...well, that child of mine that I had always wanted.
It was hard at first.
The pages always seemed so long, so daunting.
But it started to grow on me.
The idea, and the concept that maybe, just maybe I could manifest a child of my own.
A love who would bring me the gift of that child.
Maybe I was delusional?
Maybe I was looking for the wrong thing because I am still without not only that child but that love...
Life is strange that way, yeah?
But I digress.
We are not here to talk about me lbvs.
This stage is for YOU, my child.
These notes are to you.
I hope that they find you someday soon.
While your little light gathers.
Here is to you kid.
Enjoy folks.
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December 12th, 2016.
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Dear you.
Whoever you are.
My life.
My love.
My child.
Hi!
I hope that whoever you are, this book finds you well.
You haven't even been born yet, and I miss you already...
I picked this journal up on a whim...
A random purchase, lol.
And something told me that one day...
One day it would mean a lot to someone.
To you.
My Daughter.
My Son.
My child.
You are the first.
My first.
Hopefully not my last.
If only I could see into the future huh?
I would be able to compliment your amazing beauty.
Or handsomeness?
Your artistic skill?
Your grades?
Something! lol.
It's tough talking to someone who has yet to be born.
Donald Trump is our current president...
Google it.
If that's a thing anymore.😔 (I had drawn a small face on the page.)
The world is in flux...
But you have yet to be born, and as much as I want a child of my own...
To hold and care for and protect.
I am glad that your precious little eyes aren't here just yet so you don't have to see all of the ugliness in the world.
On a lighter note, I am sorry for my horrible and sloppy handwriting...
I -think- I get it from your grandma since I am sure your grandpa has great penmanship.
This first entry will probably bore the shit out of you seeing how I don't have much to say lol.
I just wanted to talk to you for a bit.
Wherever you are out in the cosmos right now.
"For each child that's born, another star rises and sings to the Universe...who we are."
I heard that years ago when I was much younger.
And I believe it.
One day.
One day your star will rise and it will blaze so brightly that even the heavens will blush.
Never let that light fade.
Ever.
You are and will only continue to be great, if only in my eyes.
ALWAYS in my eyes.
I love you so much already...
I hope my love travels through the folds of time and emanates from the very words you are now reading.
Be well, my child.
Until next time.
I love you.
So does your mom ( who is she is who I think she is) is currently drunk as shit.
This is the part when you show me this and confirm who your real mom is lol,
Rest well.
-Dad.
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Hmm.
It's been...one week since you looked at me!
10 points to you if you got that reference lol.
But, yeah.
A kid, huh?
Spoiler alert!
I still don't have any children lol.
I remember that quote. It really has stuck with me since the day I heard it.
I still believe it.
Maybe my child's star is just still ruminating lol, yeah?
Still out there somewhere, slowly but surely gathering its light...
Waiting to burst forth onto the scene in a dramatic display.
A boy can dream.
And a part of me -even at 35...eh, 36 in about 25 or so days- continues to do so.
It will happen when and if it is meant to, and what will be, will be.
I will roll through life with my little cat as a solo act till then, yeah?
I am sure there is someone out there who is searching and waiting for their child's star to shine as well.
Until next time folks, be well.
Safe travels.
-Redd.