Ever since that day in the woods, when Wang Xinran coldly pushed me away and left, I've felt like there's been a heavy stone pressing down on my chest. The last glance she gave me was filled with disgust and disdain, suffocating me. I knew I was weak and insignificant, but I couldn't control myself. I hated how she never respected me, yet I was helplessly drawn to her. Every time I recalled that fleeting moment of contact, shame and desire tangled within me, making it impossible to find peace.
In the days that followed, Wang Xinran acted as if nothing had happened. She was still the same untouchable top student in class, ignoring me entirely—no greetings, no acknowledgment, not even a glance. But I knew, deep down, she was struggling. Otherwise, why would she go out of her way to avoid me?
One afternoon after school, as I walked along the familiar path home, I saw her standing ahead. She leaned against the roadside, arms crossed, her expression as cold as ever with a hint of impatience.
"Li Hao, come here." Her tone was flat, but those three words sent my heart racing. I walked over quickly, trying to gauge her mood as I asked cautiously, "What's wrong?"
"That thing from before… I'll agree to it. But you have to promise never to use it against me again." She gazed into the distance, her eyes devoid of emotion.
I froze. I hadn't expected her to compromise so easily. Swallowing my excitement, I nodded, trying my best to appear calm. "I promise."
"Tell me a place," she said, her voice as indifferent as ever.
"Two days from now, after school. The stairwell in the office building next to the school," I said. She gave a curt nod and walked away without a backward glance.
Watching her retreating figure, a mix of anticipation and anxiety welled up inside me. This was it—this time, I wouldn't let her slip away.
Two days later, I arrived at the stairwell early. The place was quiet, with only a faint hum from the internet café on the fourth floor. I peeked upstairs every few minutes, my heart pounding faster each time.
Eventually, Wang Xinran appeared. She wore her school uniform, her face as emotionless as ever. Standing in the stairwell, she scanned her surroundings warily before speaking in a low voice. "Hurry up. I don't have time."
I nodded, my throat dry, my palms sweaty. Her coldness made me hesitate, but the desire burning inside me rooted me to the spot. I stepped forward, my hand trembling as I reached for the buttons on her shirt.
She didn't resist, only furrowing her brows slightly as she muttered, "Just hurry up. Don't drag this out."
Hearing those words, a strange thrill surged through me. My hands shook as I undid the first button, my gaze fixed on her face. She remained indifferent, her expression vacant, as if this had nothing to do with her.
Just as I fumbled with the second button, the sound of footsteps echoed from the stairwell. I froze, my heart leaping into my throat. Wang Xinran stiffened too, her icy composure momentarily replaced by panic.
"Someone's coming!" she whispered sharply. Hastily, she buttoned up her shirt and bolted down the stairs.
I stood there, paralyzed, my mind blank. It wasn't until the footsteps grew louder that I snapped out of it, rushing downstairs in a panic. At the bottom of the stairs, I spotted Wang Xinran standing at the street corner. I hesitated, unsure whether to approach her or not, my emotions in turmoil.
She stood there, her head lowered as she fiddled with her phone. The soft glow of the streetlamp bathed her figure, casting a gentle halo. I couldn't see her expression clearly, but I knew she was waiting for me.
My heart raced as I took a tentative step forward, my feet feeling impossibly heavy. After several false starts, I finally steeled myself and approached her like a gambler placing his final bet.
"Wang Xinran," I called out, my voice trembling despite my efforts to sound composed.
She looked up, her cold gaze sweeping over me. "I'm not continuing this."
Her words hit me like a blow, leaving my mind blank before frustration surged within me. "Why not? You clearly…" I trailed off, my eyes catching the lingering flush on her face, the faint warmth even reaching her ears.
"You blushed earlier—it's obvious you want this too. Stop pretending to be so pure…" My voice grew smaller as I spoke, but the words, tinged with both desire and defiance, had already escaped my lips.
Her expression turned icy, her gaze piercing through me like a blade. "Li Hao, can you stop being disgusting?"
I stumbled back a step, my hand instinctively rubbing my nose as I stammered, "I… I didn't mean it like that…"
She let out a cold laugh and turned to leave. Panicking, I caught up to her, desperation creeping into my voice. "You can't just walk away! You know I… I could tell everyone about your secret."
She stopped abruptly, slowly turning back to face me. Her eyes were frosty, filled with contempt. "Li Hao, you're despicable." Pausing for a moment, she gritted her teeth and added, "You're pathetic and repulsive."
Her words struck me like a hammer, the pain cutting deep. I wanted to argue, but I had nothing to say. She was right—I was pathetic. But I didn't want to admit it. I hated her for always treating me like this, for only seeing my weaknesses and never acknowledging me as a person.
My eyes burned, and my lips quivered, but not a single word came out.
"Li Hao, do you know how disgusted I am by you?" She suddenly stepped forward, leaning close to my face. "Is this all you're good for? Or is it just that you want to touch me?"
I froze, my eyes widening in shock. She sneered, reached into her pocket, and pulled out a few crumpled hundred-yuan bills, throwing them into my face without hesitation.
"Here, take it! Go find someone else to fulfill your filthy desires. Is 300¥ enough for you?" Her voice was cold and cutting, every word stabbing into me like needles.
The money fell to the ground. I stared at the crumpled bills, my hands trembling slightly. I had been humiliated, but I didn't dare fight back. I'd grown used to this—she had always been like this. Mocking me, looking down on me. Yet I never hated her for it. On the contrary, I couldn't let go. I wanted to get closer to her, to force her to see me as a person.
I bent down to pick up the money. Just as my fingers almost touched it, a pink sneaker stepped on the bills. It was her shoe—an elegant pair of pink Air Jordans. Small, pristine, and impossibly delicate.
"Take the money and don't bother me again," she said, her voice cold and commanding. Her gaze bore down on me with disdain, her tone like that of a queen issuing orders.
My eyes lingered on her shoes, my throat tightening. My own shoes were long past their prime, the fabric frayed and smeared with dirt. They couldn't have been more different from her spotless, beautiful pair. I lifted my head, my mouth opening as if to speak, but no words came out.
She noticed my gaze, her expression twisting further into revulsion. "Don't look at me like that. Look at your ragged shoes. Disgusting." She paused for a moment, then scoffed. "Fine, out of the goodness of my heart, I'll buy you a new pair. At least that way I don't have to see those eyesore things."
I forced a smile, pretending to be unaffected. "Sure, thanks."
"And one more thing." She lifted her foot and kicked the money aside. "If you ever try to blackmail me again, I won't be so lenient next time."
I knew she had a lot of connections at school. She was popular with the top students and even had the attention of some rich kids and troublemakers. While she ignored their advances, I feared she might actually send some of those troublemakers after me. My heart sank at the thought. Swallowing hard, I picked up the scattered bills, shoving them into my pocket, my fingers clutching them tightly.
"Thank you," I muttered hoarsely.
She smirked, a low chuckle escaping her lips. "You're pathetic."
Her words cut deep, like a blade slicing through my heart, but I didn't argue. She turned away, her tone light but dismissive. "Let's go to the mall. I don't want to be seen with someone wearing such hideous shoes."