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Arcane/Alternative

Kaito_Uzumaki
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chs / week
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Synopsis
And Arcane Self insert fic. With some other elements. This is basically my copium after season 2. Pairing is single for now.

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Chapter 1 - The Deal

The story starts in the deep dark space containing no life but the Nebulous stars and Celestial bodies spanning across eons of lightyears. This is the void between creation. There is no life. No sustenance to support it and nothing except stars and floating rocks for worlds.

However, despite all this, there are two beings in the void. Currently sitting across from each other with only a desk in between them. The furnitures, made out of the same cosmos that surrounds them.

One of the being was a featureless, white humanoid of above average height with no clothing. The other one is also a humanoid being, albeit made out of the very cosmos that surrounds them with his face being a literal black-hole. He was wearing a nice black suit, complete with a tie and everything.

They were deeply discussing about something. Something that made them both distressed.

"Alright! So why can't I get more budget for this?" The soul asked in frustration.

"Cause this isn't a wish fulfilment cyoa. This is a fix-it!" The being talked back in equal frustration.

"And the difference is?" The eldritch being could feel the eyebrow raise even with the soul infront of him having none.

"*sigh* In wish fulfilment, the denizens of the world or the multiverse you go into are shallow copies with barely enough personalities. They are just there for the chosen one-that's you in this case- to feel like they're real and can make some decisions but nothing truely worthwhile." He explained as the human soul in front of him listened intently.

Seeimg that he now has the soul's interest, he continued.

"The villians of those kind of verse has more personality then the good guys. The girls are there just to make the asshole feel good about himself for "seducing their waifu". The guys are either "Yes Mans" or later traitors with hot enough significant others that the "MC" could swoop in. People at the top are either comically evil or just naviely good. The parents of the MC-if they didn't choose the edgelord route- are either blind or too accepting of the fact that their child can talk out of his ass at 2 months old and can fuck his sister as soon as he can get an erection. The whole universe is made to go the Guy's way." It sounded more and more like a rant, the more the human soul listen. But he was also giving good information so he didn't stop his sponsor yet.

"...And don't get me started on the women of those worlds. You are not supposed to fall in love and cum fifity times when your fucked with a dick that had more in common with the owner's leg. Biology does not work like that! Sure most of us like some unrealistic porn every now and then but NOT EVERYTIME!!!"

Damn, buddy was really going at it. How long has it been?5 minutes? 10?

"...And that's why you get less budget because most of the power is going to finding you real Alternative Universes rather than making fake hollow ones from scratch."

Dammit, he dosed off. But he gets the gist of it. Still tho,

He sighed as he asked the ROB to show him his choices. But before that...

"You said I'm supposed to do a Fix-it right? So which one? Naruto or rather Boruto? Bleach? RWBY also need a fix-it...Berserk?" He said the last part a little hesitantly. Say what you want but even the most hardcore Berserk fans still wouldn't want to be the guy fixing the verse.

"Oh god, it's not warhammer is it?" The soul bemoaned as he clutch his head in despair.

"Relax, it nothing serious..." he paused. "Okay, it's a little serious. The Universe you're going after is..." The soul looked at the ROB in deadpan at his obvious dramatic pausing.

"Phhf, your no fun. It's Arcane." He said with his arms spread like it's a grand reveal.

" ...Ahhhh. ...Where do I sign?" The soul ask with the determination of a man ready to fight the whole army of chaos.

"I knew you would see my way" The being said. He was grinning. Both of them are. Despite not have any features they both could feel the grin on each other faces.

"Alright, so what do I get?" With that question, they both descended to the archive.

(Sometime Later)

"Wait, why is my hair color limited to those particular ones?" The soul asked in confusion.

"Ah... ahehe... you see... the thing is... you're going to be the third sibling." Steven, the now named ROB said with a guilty chuckle.

"Bruh... you were just ranting about brother fucking sisters you hypocrite." The soul, still unnamed was unamused.

"Wait! You're still gonna fuck them if you're blood related?" The Nigh-Omnipotent being asked in surprised.

...

...

"Jinx was the only reason I even like League in the first place." The man said with a deadpan.

"...I may have miscalculated." Steven admitted

"Yeah, you did"

"Sooooo..."

"Sooooo..."

"Not siblings? Maybe not like blood related but under Vander's parenting like Mylo and Claggor?" The man offered the god.

"Yes, that is better but also a little bit more complicated. I was originally going to make you Vi's twin." The ROB admitted

"It was a good plan." The man offered in apology.

"Yes, it was. Until someone decided to fuck it. Your budget got lesser by the way. We gotta make a new identity for you." The ROB said with an accusing glare.

"That's fair. So about those templates, I think those should be my go to for this. Either those or the class cards. " The man said as the ROB thought over it before nodding. With his budget he wont be able to afford much of the options but they still offer a solid base. Enough to become a champion twice over in the old league's lore.

"You still gotta choose your hair color first by the way. Your template choices will be limited to your chosen hair color" ROB said. Was it petty? Yes. But it also a way to limit the amount of time mulling over every option availible. They might be taking everything a little laidback but the time is drawing near.

He didn't told the soul not to make him panic but they have less than 10 minutes before insertion. His bosses from the outer realms are getting a little pissed at the backlog of souls. And only he was stuck on one soul for the past hour or so. So he had to make it quick but without any msitakes.

He want his Arcane ending dammit. This is the first attempt but there will soon be more after. Other ROBs are still dealing with the post Arcane depression but soon, more will follow. But he couldn't wait. He need his fix now goddammit.

"Green. I choose Green as my hair color."

"Your budget isn't enough for Achillies." Steven flatly said.

"DAMMIT! How about Samson?"

"Do you honestly want to have a weakness to 50% of the population?"

*sigh*"Fine, I'll think of an another color."

"Ugh! This is getting more complicated. Just say a character or a power and I'll tell you if it's plausible or not." They were getting closer to the deadline.

"Just give me something that has a healing factor." The guy was fed up too apparently.

"How about the Hercules Method?" Steven offered.

"That's... not bad actually but can I ask for an another power? The Hercules Method isn't that expensive right?" The Soul asked unsurely.

"I could boost your talent in the method and lift the ceilling of the ability? Maybe give you a stronger regen?" Steven offered.

"Yeah that's fine." Now you might be wondering why isn't he asking for something like magic? Because Magic is for pussies. That's the motto he will live by until the day he die. He like simple things. He'll take simple paths to power and simple ways to fuck someone up.

And he will always choose hands over something like Fire-Ball or Magic Missiles.

"Could you throw in a higher Defense both Magical and physical by any chance?"

"Hmm... yeah, that could work. It'll slow your extra regen tho?" Steven asked with what felt like raised eyebrow.

"Just take away the extra Regen and put every extra power from it to the Defenses." The soul waved away the question.

"Your choice then. Annnnnd done! Now your appearence?"

"Just give me one that is good looking. And tall at least when I start using the Method to the fullest" Steven nodded and selected an appearence for the soul.

Immediately, the soul start gaining flesh and bones. Soon, he stood with a full physical body.

He looked over himself. "Really?" He deadpaned with eyes half lidded. Gesturing to the volumes upon volume of Green hair.

"Yes. Really. Now off you go to your new adventure, Samson." Steven said. His whole demeanor radiating "Smug".

The soul-Samson-just flipped him off before getting swallowed by a wormhole with a *Pop*. Off to a new adventure.

Steven just stared at the spot Samson was in before taking a deep breath and exhaling. He has some music of his own to face afterall.