>>Aelin
It's alright
This was the best option. With this I can finally contribute to something. I nodded to myself as I kept telling myself those words.
The bed felt impossibly large beneath me, its velvet covers felt foreign under my trembling fingers. I sat in the middle, my palms were damp, and no matter how much I pressed them into the fabric, the unease wouldn't go away.
The door opened and my heart jumped while I froze. I slowly turned to look at the man who had entered the room.
Draegon Dravos
The sheer size of him stole my breath and I began to tremble. It was not my intention, I didn't want to do this but he was frightening. I had noticed this at the wedding too, he was huge. While I wasn't short for a human woman, at about 5'7, Draegon was 6'8. His black horns coming from either side of his head showed he held a lot of power, yet his horns were the smallest in the royal family and he didn't have much standing as a royal either.
The sole reason being that he was from a concubine. It's a very rare occurrence in demon empires for there to be a concubine to begin with. It's looked down upon.
I gulped as he walked towards me, his purple molten eyes locked onto me.
My throat tightened as he closed the distance, his towering frame looming closer. I ducked my head, forcing my gaze down to my lap where my fingers twisted together nervously. My mouth was dry, but I managed to swallow, trying to steady myself.
You can do this, I told myself. You have to. You can't be useless like always
He stopped at the edge of the bed and I clenched my fists, my nails digging into my skin so I could stop shivering.
He must have noticed though, he had his eyes constantly on me, "Princess," he said, his voice deep and unyielding, yet strangely calm. I raised my eyes, just for a moment, to meet his. Then I looked away again, clinging to the words I had repeated to myself since the ceremony.
It's alright. This is the only thing I can do
This was my duty. I gulped. I can't mess this up! If I can't even do this, then something worse will happen!
"I know you don't want to be here," He said, making me pause, "But we have to consummate our marriage, people are waiting."
!!!
"..." My cheeks began to heat up. My heart pounded while my mind raced. Not only was I to spend the night with a huge man, all the people were going to know we performed the deed. I pursed my lips as I felt embarrassed.
Somehow, it felt humiliating.
"Unless we do so, the truce won't fall through." He said and I knew there was nothing I could do about it. No matter how embarrassing it was, I had no choice
I nodded at his words and he gave me a nod back.
"Take off your clothes," He said as he began to take off his. I glanced at him when he took his shirt off and gasped inaudibly when I saw his fine toned body and abs. Then I immediately looked down, my fingers were cold as I reached for the lace at the back of my dress. I was already out of my wedding dress and was now in a satin purple gown. I opened the lace and was about to slide the silky dress off of myself when I noticed Draegon had taken his pants off.
!!!
My heart dropped when I looked at him and my eyes went wide. My already racing heart began to pound even louder.
"W-w-why?" I looked away with my face red.
"Hm?" Draegon looked down at himself, unsure of why I began to panic. With the lace undone, the dress was falling off of me and I held onto it desperately, "Ah," He got it but without saying a word he climbed onto the bed, making me tremble again, "You'll be fine," He said as he approached me.
"N-no," I had never seen a man's private part but I did have the basic knowledge, and this was not normal, "Why do you have-" My voice was barely above a whisper, "-have two?" Even my feet felt cold.
"Because I'm a dragon." His hand came and rested on my shoulder, making me flinch violently.
"..." He paused, then put his other hand on my other shoulder, making me let go of my dress and it slid down my body exposing me, "I won't put the other one in,"
I was still hesitating. No one had told me anything about this, not that they had told me anything to begin with. I only learned the basics from a book I read.
How different are demon bodies? Can a human and a demon consummate at all? I had no idea
I wasn't even sure how it was done-
Draegon put his hand on my chin and made me look at him. Our eyes met and I knew he must have seen my pupils shaking but without wasting anymore time, he planted his lips on me.
!!
The warmth of another person's skin was foreign to me. It was confusing but it got terrifying too when his rough hands came to my body and pulled me closer.
***
The silence after the act was suffocating, broken only by the sound of my shallow breathing. My body felt alien—bruised, aching in ways I hadn't anticipated. I pulled the blanket around me as tightly as I could.
It hurts…
Draegon sat at the edge of the bed, his back to me. I dared not look at him, not when every part of me felt raw.
Was this act supposed to hurt this much? Is it always going to be like this? Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as the ache in my body refused to leave.
A knock on the door got both of our attention and Draegon stood up for a moment. He only had his pants on but didn't bother wearing his shirt as he answered, "Come in,"
A maid, with tiny goat-like horns, entered the room and quietly walked to the bed.
I shifted slightly, wincing as a sharp pain shot through me. I bit my lip hard but tried not to make a sound as she came over and saw the blood on the bed sheet. Then she glanced at me and how awful I looked. Then looked at Draegon and gave him a formal bow, "I will inform the people waiting that the marriage has been consummated."
Draegon gave her a nod, "Leave," He said as he sat back down and the maid left, closing the door behind her, leaving the two of us in awkward silence again.
He turned his head slightly to look at me, but he said nothing. I didn't say anything either. The fear that had gripped me earlier was still there, tangled with a deep ache that wasn't just physical.
I felt even smaller than I usually do
I hugged my knees to my chest beneath the blanket, the movement slow and careful. I couldn't meet his gaze even if I wanted to. My mind raced with questions I couldn't ask, with emotions I couldn't sort through.
But as tears burned at the corners of my eyes, I wondered if my life was going to be full of pain here as well, just like how it was in my country, in Havenmoore. Am I going to be treated coldly here as well? Will I receive corporal punishment too?
The silence stretched between us for a while, then Draegon decided to speak, "I was too rough," he said, his back still turned to me. His words hung in the air, and for a moment, I thought I had imagined them. Then he exhaled, the sound almost… weary. "I'm sorry."
The apology caught me off guard, "What?" I whispered
"I had no idea, a human female is this delicate," He looked at me, specifically at the marks his rough grip had left on me.
I got shy and covered myself up even more.
I blinked, unsure how to respond and the silence came between us again. He spoke again, but this time his voice was a bit bitter, "You're a princess. It must be disgusting for you to sleep with a demon like me. One with no standing either."
I froze, my hands clutching the blanket. What is he saying? I didn't say anything about his standing.
He turned slightly, his purple eyes catching the faint light, but I couldn't meet his gaze. I didn't know what to say. My silence lingered too long, and I saw the way his jaw tightened.
"You don't have to say it," he said, the bitterness sharper now. "I get it."
I opened my mouth to speak, to say something, but no words came and as I tried to move a little, a sharp almost electrifying pain shot in my body making me freeze right there in agony. But the good thing was, it faded just as fast as it came.
I breathed hard, and then took a deep breath to calm down, "I," I started but I wasn't sure what to say to him. He looked back at me and I felt awkward.
His expression softened, the weight of his shoulders slumping ever so slightly. "None of this was by choice," he continued, "This truce, this marriage. Even if it's forced, I'll try. I'll do my best to be kind to you, and to take care of you." His eyes met mine for a brief moment, "I'll keep you safe,"
His words left me stunned. He sounded… earnest. Like he meant it.
But to trust a demon. A dragon at that... For centuries, his kind had slaughtered humans, leaving death and destruction in their wake.
I looked down as I choked my tears back
His kind had killed my mother…
My fears still gripped me tightly, my body trembling even as I sat in silence. I know nothing about demons, how they live, how they love, how they fight. All I know is how brutal they are. But even though I'm scared out of my wits, I have no choice.
Because there is no way back home…
I swallowed hard, forcing myself to nod. "Okay," I whispered, my voice barely audible.
I didn't know if I could ever trust him but his words did something to me. Maybe what he said to me acted like a fragile thread to hold onto in this unfamiliar, terrifying place.
I was alone here, a sole human amongst demons but he did something that made me want to believe him.
He was the only person who offered me kind words like that, and had offered me a promise.
A small flame of hope ignited inside of me, that maybe it won't be as bad here as it was in my home…Maybe, things will be different here. And maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't have to go through this pain every day.
Yet,
Fate wasn't as kind to me.
Right the next morning, the whole palace was woken up by the sound of a war siren and to make things worse, Draegon was chosen to lead the army to war.