"Hey, mind if I bum a cigarette?"
Hesitating for a moment, I turn around — only to be met with the sight of Inoue-san, standing in front of me in all her quiet elegance. The moonlight gathers up her glittering black dress, making it shimmer like the gentle waters beneath us. Her lips curling into a sweet, magic smile. For a brief moment, I almost forget to breathe.
I reach into my jacket pocket, fingers brushing against the pack of cigarettes. Pulling one out, I offer it to her. She takes it graciously, clamping it between her slender fingers with practiced ease.
"Thank you, Yarikawa-san. Do you have a lighter for me too?"
I flick open my lighter, the small warm flame casting flickering shadows on her face as she slowly leans in. The cigarette touches her lips, a faint trace of her red lipstick smudging against the filter as she takes her first drag.
A slow inhale. A soft release. A quiet sigh.
"A beautiful night, isn't it?" she murmurs, exhaling a thin wisp of smoke. Her gaze drifts upwards to the sky. "The moon, it is out in all its glory tonight... don't you think, Yarikawa-san?"
She lets out a soft chuckle, stepping beside me. Her perfume lingers in the air, clinging to the cool breeze. It stings my nose, but not unpleasantly.
Aimi Inoue — Gorgeous. Successful. Ambitious. She has only been working at our boresome company for a couple months. Despite that fact, she has already become very beloved by our boss — even though I doubt that this is only due to her strong commitment. Inoue-san was raised in a wealthy household, already achieved great results in young age with her talent for playing violin. As one of the most successful and engaged students at her university, she graduated in business administration and shortly afterwards went on a world trip.
I have great respect towards her.
"So... what do you think about Nakamura? He seems to look up to you."
I glance down, my eyes drawn to a dark sport in the water below us. The way the moonlight bends and circles around it, making it look like a void, deep and endless.
"He's just a normal guy I guess. Nice, but definitely too naive."
"Haha, yes. He's like a tiny, innocent bunny, always chasing after something shiny. But you know, that's what I kinda like about him. We need more of these positive people in our society. People who go through life with this ease, without overthinking every single step. Maybe then, there'd be less anger, less resentment in this world. What do you think?"
For a moment, I let the tought sink in.
A life without worries. Without sadness. Without hatred.
Only place for joy, love... and freedom.
Freedom...?
"That kind of world doesn't exist. It can't function without conflict. There will be always a greedy one."
She exhales another puff of smoke, her expression a bit wistful. "Yeah... you're probably right. I guess I'm just a dreamer sometimes. But look at the world we live in — divided, bitter, competetive, always reaching for more. It's kinda exhausting."
Silence falls between us. Only the sound of the light waves lapping against the pier remains.
She takes a last drag before putting the cigarette away, watching as the ember fades into the ashtray.
"Nakamura's energy is kind of refreshing though. When he's around, you can't help but feel a little lighter. But now listen to us, standing out here, talking about all this heavy stuff. We strained adults..." She giggles.
"Can't you see how much he likes you?" I ask, glancing at her from the corner of my eye.
"Haha, of course I know that. Anyone with half a brain can see that. But honestly? He's definitely not my type. He's still too young and lives with his mother." She sighs, leaning against the railing. "I need someone who's dependable. Someone who is serious and can protect me. Someone who understands what he truly wants."
She trails off, as if realizing she has said too much.
"Sorry, I must be talking your ear of. You're probably not even interested in these things."
I shake my head. Her gaze wanders to me, filled with enchantment.
"You really are a good listener, Yarikawa-san," she says, smiling. "It's comfortable, talking to you. Next time I have something on my mind, I'll just come straight to you, alright?"
Even if she says this half-jokingly, something about it makes me want to listen. The usual silence can be suffocating sometimes.
"You're welcome to."
"Really? I'd like that. You're different from the others. You don't convulsively try to stand out, you're not obsessed with climbing the ranks. You're just... there. Watching, observing quietly. It's kind of mysterious in a good way, you know?"
"Silence is a weapon. A powerful one."
She tilts her head a bit, strands of black hair falling across her face. Her hand lifts, gently brushing them back,
"I'd like to know more about you. You're always so calm, so unaffected. Don't you also have any worries? You make it seem like you just... accept life as it is right now."
She's observant. I'll give her that. But her words don't prove a lack of understanding of people. If anything, they prove my ability to conceal myself, the existence of the dark mask I am wearing.
"My worries? If I told you —"
I finally turn to look at her, my expression unreadable.
"You wouldn't see Yarikawa Kiitaharu the same way ever again."
For the first time, she hesitates. The flicker of uncertainty in her eyes is brief, but I catch it.
"H-Hey... you're almost scaring me here." She lets out a nervous laugh. "You really are a complicated guy. But if you ever need somebody to talk, my lips are sealed, okay?"
"Sorry, I think I've drifted off a bit. Didn't mean to intimidate you or anything, apologies."
"It's okay, I shouldn't have asked you so directly. But seriously, I always have an open ear for you, yeah?"
For a brief moment, we fall silent, a thoughtful atmosphere is established.
Her eyes meets mine, soft yet unwavering. The reflection of the moon shimmers in her eyes — the same moon that dances across the water I was staring at before.
"Yarikawa-san, I..."
Her gaze speaking words, her head moving closer, and I understand what she is implying.
And then —
Her soft lips press against mine.
...
A single moment. Slow, fleeting, uncertain.
I don't know what this means. I don't know why I allow it. But for the first time in a long time, I feel something. Even if it's small. Even if it's just a tiny break from the weight I carry.
Is this the first step out of hell?
But then — reality sets in.
They want to grab me — the shadows deep in my heart,
Pull me down into the pain I can't forget.
The past claws at the back of my mind, dragging me back into the abyss, where I belong.
What am I doing?
If I go down this path... if I let myself indulge in this moment... I'm betraying her.
I still feel guilty, so shattered inside;
I know it will kill me — the hatred won't subside.
The fire of my hell evaporates the shimmering water.
I pull away. Immediately.
A sharp breath. My heart pounds.
"Y-Yarikawa-san...? Did I do something wrong?"
"No no, you didn't do anything, Inoue-san, I'm just… not feeling well. Maybe I had one cigarette too much."
"Ah… then I'm relieved. You should go home and rest before you overdo it. I'll call a cab — we live in the same area, so I'll go with you."
"Thank you, Inoue-san."
"No worries." She smiles again.
In the end, I stand here at the lonesome horizon,
Haunted by the past, its dark echoes rise on.
…
And just like that, the moment is gone.