'Who ever said overdosing on pain meds was one of the easiest and most effective ways to off oneself, lied'. Though a young man, as he got up from his bed with a painful expression on his face.
His name is Notlac and last night he tried to commit suicide. The reason is because his life was shit. He's a complete failure in life, he's now 20, and he has no qualifications/skills. No job/ got laid off a week ago. Unattractive. No social skills whatsoever.
He Still lived parents and a smaller brother, whom he like to call pretendians. They pretended like they cared about him, but he could see through their masks, he could see the disgust, disappointment, and hate, they held for him.
And funny enough he didn't blame them, how he when he is everything they thought about him was true.
He hated himself so why would anyone feel and different?
He started isolate/lock his self in his room.
He discovered novels. by reading novels he found a perfect escape from his shitty reality.
He became an addict, there wasn't a day that pass when he didn't read a novel. It was his way of coping. He postpone offing his self-many, just because he wanted to read the ending to his favorite novel.
After a while he discovered that some of his feelings became dull eg, hate towards people, love, happiness, anger, and envy, but Leaving sadness, Despair and hopelessness. He was becoming empty. Maybe some form of ego death.
His parents' pressure often pressures him to do something with life, like get a job or school. And threaten to kick him out.
But he didn't care because as far as he's concerned, he was already dead, and dead people don't need a job or education or ambition.
Eventually, his favorite novel had ended, now didn't have anything to live for, he decided to end his suffering, but how? He wanted it to be as painless as it can be.
So he googles ( best way to commit suicide)
He saw some suicide hotline or something, but he didn't even glance at it twice. And why would he, after all, before he got to this point, he had confided in someone who was close to hi, but the only thing he got was a fake concern. He could sense that person judging him and even a bit of mocking. Just another pretendian.
Below is the website, clicking on the first one.
He saw a list of suicide methods, among them overdose on pain pill.
So he plan to wait till its night to off his self, he already had the pill.
night time, with his mind consume by hopelessness, he opened the pill bottle, poured four pulls in his hands, placed them in his mouth, drink water, then swallowed, repeat, repeated, in he to about 26 pills.
He went to lay down hoping he would fall sleep, but how could he, he was too anxious.
After 30mintues he was covered sweats, and a headache, he didn't pass out or Throw up.
After hours of headache and sweats, he had somehow fallen in a semi sleep state. And have just woken up.