Tang Qianyu sat silently at her own home with a bottle of whiskey in her hands. Her cheeks were bruised and swollen as drank from the bottle. Her phone was buzzing which made her head throb as she threw it away.
Tang Zhiheng slapped her face in anger when he found out about the divorce. Tang Qianyu didn't even bother to listen to her father's rumblings as she knew deep down what he's about to say. It's all his disappointments about her life choices. She's always been a disappointment to him anyways. Everything she does, no matter how good or hard she tries, is not enough for him.
He would always find faults in her, making fun of her shortcomings and meddling with her affairs. He wasn't always like this, he used to be a good father to her—or so she remembers. It's been a long time ago, maybe he used to be kind to her when her mother was alive or maybe not. She doesn't remember but she oddly feels like he was a kind and loving father to her.
Maybe that's why she strives for his affection. Tang Qianyu took another shot as he rested his back against the sofa. It was soft and warm, the very thing Tang Qianyu needed at this moment. Tang Qianyu jolted when memories of Xin Yuexia's warm embrace flared through her mind.
Why does she have to think of her? Why? Why even at this moment, she still wants her? Isn't her duty gone? What duty? Her duty as a wife but, she's no longer her wife—yet. The divorce is still not finalised, they still need to be separated for 6 months before officially beginning their divorce proceedings. But why would she care about that? She doesn't even know where Xin Yuexia was. Hell, she even left her alone.
Everyone always leaves her alone. Qin Meiying, her first love and the first woman she trusted and gave all her heart to left her out of the blue and now, Xin Yuexia was doing the same. But, Tang Qianyu is not dumb. She won't make the same mistakes she did in her 20s, she won't go to a bar and get someone pregnant again. She can't risk that so she better drink alone.
Her phone buzzed yet again as Tang Qianyu awoke from her thoughts as she frowned and gritted her teeth, she took her phone and smashed it. Seeing the lock screen wallpaper of her and Xin Yuexia through the broken screen, she cried.
She's not herself. Why is she wrecking her phone? What would she do next? Ransack the place and threw everything out? Maybe. She laughed and cried. She hates herself. Is she not enough? Is she so undeserving of love? Why? Why won't anyone stay with her? Why would they always leave her?
Tang Qianyu chugged half a bottle of whiskey that she left at the table as her vision became woozy, everything swaying around through the blurry haze of her eyes. She heard the doorbell ring and she stood up with difficulty. She couldn't even walk straight and accidentally knocked over the glass table and destroyed it making a loud bang as the shards of glass scattered around.
She shrugged and walked towards the door, she didn't even notice that her feet were bleeding nor did she feel the pain. She didn't look at the face in the intercom as she opened it and was surprised to see the person standing on her porch. She rubbed her eyes and looked at her once again as tears ran down her eyes.
Xin Yuexia is back. She's finally back. Tang Qianyu couldn't believe it, she sobbed and fell on the ground. Xin Yuexia wrapped her hands around her with worry displayed in her eyes.
"Why did you leave?" Tang Qianyu asked in between her tears and hiccups. "Am I not enough? Am I really undeserving of love? Why does everyone keep leaving me?" She asked as Xin Yuexia bit her lower lip and looked away.
"...I thought this would make you happy." Xin Yuexia replied as Tang Qianyu laughed at her response.
"Happy? Did you think this would make me happy?" Tang Qianyu shouted in disbelief, making Xin Yuexia shudder. Tang Qianyu never shouted at her before, not even once. "What right do you have to choose what makes me happy or not?" She asked as Xin Yuexia looked away in shame.
"I don't want you to keep you trapped. I know you don't want this marriage at all." Xin Yuexia replied with tears running down her eyes. Tang Qianyu's heart ached from seeing her cry as she wiped her tears with her thumb, soothing Xin Yuexia. "I know you're just taking responsibility and I was too selfish to keep it going and kept you trapped. You didn't want to disappoint your father and that's why you stayed." She explained as she whimpered.
"I'm not trapped or forced in this marriage. I stayed because I wanted to." Tang Qianyu replied as shs wept along with Xin Yuexia.
"But, I'm not the one you love." Xin Yuexia replied as Tang Qianyu's eyes opened wide as she looked away in shame. "You can finally be with Qin Meiying once our divorce is finalized." She continued as Tang Qianyu remained quiet, her heart breaking into a million pieces. "You can be happy again, you can finally be with the person you love." Xin Yuexia spoke gently which broke Tang Qianyu even more as she looked at her with a pained expression.
Xin Yuexia's heart shattered and torn from seeing the look in Tang Qianyu's eyes as she tried to speak up but was cut off by Tang Qianyu.
"But, I love you." Tang Qianyu spoke gently, her voice hoarse as she smiled weakly. This is the first time Tang Qianyu ever uttered those words—the words Tang Qianyu can't admit to herself. Maybe because she's drunk that's why she was finally able to say it. She doesn't know. "I love you, Yuexia." She repeated as Xin Yuexia bawled out crying.
She waited for so long for Tang Qianyu to say those words. She waited for 10 years. A whole decade for Tang Qianyu to look her in the eyes and tell her those words but, what use were those words if Tang Qianyu would never even say it to her with a sober mind? She cried, not just from happiness from her lifelong dreams coming true but also the saddening reality of this all.
Tang Qianyu hugged Xin Yuexia tightly as she rubbed her back gently. "I'm sorry," She whispered. "I'm sorry it took me too long to say this." Tang Qianyu shed tears. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you the love and affection you deserve." She apologised over and over again.
"... No." Xin Yuexia replied. "You're lying." She mumbled as she pushed Tang Qianyu away and wrapped her hands around her body. "You're just saying that because you're drunk."
Tang Qianyu's heart ached as she felt helpless. Why does it take so long for her to realize she loves her? Maybe if she had realised it sooner, this wouldn't have happened at all and now, it's too late. She can't do anything, she can't deny that the alcohol influenced her to build up her courage to say it but even she's unsure? No, she's sure now. She's sure of her feelings.
"No, I mean it." Tang Qianyu replied as she looked deeply into Xin Yuexia's green eyes. Her gaze met the lonely and terrified gaze of Xin Yuexia as she reached out her hands to hold Xin Yuexia's hands. "I love you." She whispered as she smiled softly.
Xin Yuexia looked at the dark eyes of Tang Qianyu and met a shining and beautiful spark within it. Tang Qianyu looked at her with a firm look—eyes that could never speak a single lie as Tang Qianyu laid out her soul for Xin Yuexia to see. Tang Qianyu loves her. She's sure of that now and unlike the usual denial that Xin Yuexia could notice from Tang Qianyu's every mannerisms and actions, Tang Qianyu looked at her adoringly with an assured smile.
She cried yet again as she wrapped her hands around Tang Qianyu and ran to her as they fell on the ground with Tang Qianyu protecting her from the fall as she laughed, kissing Xin Yuexia's forehead as she spoke with gentleness unlike anything she ever heard before.
"Are you alright?" Tang Qianyu asked as Xin Yuexia nodded and hugged her tightly. "That's good," Tang Qianyu whispered as she gently caressed Xin Yuexia's head. "I'm glad you're okay." She murmured.
"Stop worrying about me, you should worry about yourself first!" Xin Yuexia nagged as she sat up and looked down at Tang Qianyu with a scowl. "Do you know how heavy I am? Why did you take the fall with your back? What would you do if you broke it?" She nagged and nagged as Tang Qianyu slowly sat up as well and looked at her wife with a foolish smile. "What are you smiling for? Do you think that's not possible?" She frowned as Tang Qianyu laughed and hugged her gently.
"It's not that serious and you know I'm strong, I can lift you as many times as you want for hours on end." Tang Qianyu whispered as Xin Yuexia gritted her teeth and punched her in the stomach, making Tang Qianyu jolt and winced in pain.
"That is no laughing matter, idiot!" Xin Yuexia shouted, which left Tang Qianyu in confusion. It's not like they fell on a cliff or a tall building. Why is Xin Yuexia reacting like that?
"Hey, that hurt." Tang Qianyu pouted. "You berated me for getting hurt and yet here you are hurting me as well." She complained as Xin Yuexia's frown deepened. Noticing her anger rising, Tang Qianyu switched on to her coaxing mode. "I'm sorry, I won't do it again. Don't be angry, okay?" Tang Qianyu whispered soothingly as she hugged Xin Yuexia.
"You better be cuz I won't take care of you if you become a cripple." Xin Yuexia threatened as Tang Qianyu laughed and rubbed her face against Xin Yuexia's hair.
"Yes, yes, honey. I will take care of myself better so that I wouldn't let my lovely wife be married to a cripple." Tang Qianyu replied as Xin Yuexia looked at her in shock. This is the first time she has ever been called Xin Yuexia in any pet names. Xin Yuexia blushed and pushed her off.
"Whatever," Xin Yuexia replied as she pushed Tang Qianyu away from her. "You're stinky, you better take a shower or I'll beat you up." She ordered sternly as Tang Qianyu smiled happily.
"Of course, my darling. I will take a shower so that you won't be stuck with a stinky and crippled wife." Tang Qianyu teased as Xin Yuexia kicked her calf, making her shout in pain as Xin Yuexia smirked. "Alright, alright, I'll stop teasing you." Tang Qianyu admitted defeat as she held Xin Yuexia's hands with her left hand and her right hand holding Xin Yuexia's waist. "By the way, why did you come back?" She asked as Xin Yuexia looked back at her.
"Do you not want me to?" Xin Yuexia asked as Tang Qianyu shook her head aggressively which made Xin Yuexia chuckled.
"Of course not!" Tang Qianyu shouted. "Of course I want you to come back, I really wanted to that I started praying every night to every single deity, Gods, and Goddesses above!" She spoke with a sincere look on her face which made Xin Yuexia laugh. Tang Qianyu pouted and looked quite hurt. "... I'm nor joking." She added as Xin Yuexia pinched the cheeks of her sulky wife.
"I know," Xin Yuexia replied. "You're just so adorable and imagining it makes me laugh." She added as Tang Qianyu smiled, held Xin Yuexia's hands and rubbed her cheeks. "And to answer your question…" Xin Yuexia took a deep breath as she smiled at the clueless woman in front of her. "I'm pregnant." She laughed when she saw how Tang Qianyu's eyes widened and glistened with joy.
•••••
Tang Qianyu woke up with a splitting headache but she still cracked a smile. She erupted in joy and almost slipped when she jumped up and down while Xin Yuexia laughed at her. The two wanted to talk more about it but Xin Yuexia said she was tired and wanted to speak to her tomorrow, especially when she's not drunk and the place was clean.
"Oh." Tang Qianyu shyly looked at the wreckage she caused around their home as she smiled, embarrassed. Xin Yuexia smiled at her as she pulled Tang Qianyu down at her level and gave her a kiss on the cheeks which made Tang Qianyu blushed. "I love you." Tang Qianyu whispered as Xin Yuexia chuckled sweetly.
"I know." The two looked at each other in silence before Xin Yuexia broke it off with a stern look on her face. "Now go clean this mess up and take a shower, I'm going to sleep." She yawned and went upstairs to their room leaving Tang Qianyu behind.
Only then did Tang Qianyu finally realize the bruises on her feet as she cleaned it up and bandaged it up. Thankfully, it wasn't deep and painful that would require her to go to the hospital so she just continued cleaning the place up and went to bed to cuddle with Xin Yuexia to sleep.
Tang Qianyu stood up groggily, Xin Yuexia was already gone when she woke up, she felt anxious and stood up, frantic but stopped to calm herself down. Xin Yuexia won't leave her again, she said so herself. Though she felt scared and had a hard time trusting Xin Yuexia, she took a deep breath and decided that she must get help. She needs therapy.
With a calm smile, she went to the bathroom and took a bath, finishing her morning routine as she walked down the stairs with a brown tank top and grey sweatpants.
She noticed a figure standing in the kitchen and a nice smell coming from the kitchen as she smiled and walked up to her wife, wrapping her hands around her waist as she kissed her cheeks. "Good morning, sweetheart." Tang Qianyu greeted, as Xin Yuexia pushed her head off with a smile.
"Oh stop it, will you?" Xin Yuexia chuckled as Tang Qianyu pouted and hugged her tightly but not too tightly as to not hurt her.
"What can I do? I just love my wife so much I can't stop myself from calling her any names." Tang Qianyu whispered as Xin Yuexia smacked her head—leaving her in shock.
"Shut up and eat this. It's your favourite century egg and pork congee." Xin Yuexia ordered as Tang Qianyu smiled and nodded as she took the bowl of congee offered to her by her wife.
"My dearest wife truly is the best I could ever ask for." Tang Qianyu replied mischievously as Xin Yuexia sighed. She's not used to the overly affectionate and flirtatious Tang Qianyu but she doesn't hate it. She's just embarrassed at the drastic change Tang Qianyu is acting towards her.
The two sat together as Xin Yuexia took the jiāng táng chá (Ginger and brown sugar tea) she brewed and sipped it quietly while Tang Qianyu ate the congee with a big doofus smile. Xin Yuexia smiled behind the tea cup as the two sat together in silence.
After the two finished, Tang Qianyu washed the dishes while Xin Yuexia sat at the sofa in the living room waiting for Tang Qianyu to finish so that they could finally talk. 5 minutes later, Tang Qianyu came out with a wide smile plastered on her face as she sat down next to Xin Yuexia.
"About the pregnancy, I came last night to talk about how we are going to co-parent our baby." Xin Yuexia spoke, starting the conversation as Tang Qianyu nodded. "I wanted to ask for your opinion on how you want us to schedule the visits and also if you want to accompany me to the checkups while we're processing our divorce." She added, which made Tang Qianyu frown with a sad look on her face.
"Do you still want to divorce me?" Tang Qianyu asked softly, her voice quivering as Xin Yuexia shook her head, making her feel relieved.
"I just thought that with Qin Meiying back, you might abandon our baby or the baby would become an issue between the two of you so I wanted to ask if you wanted to be involved in our baby's life or not." Xin Yuexia explained.
"I won't abandon our baby for her or anyone! I would never do that!" Tang Qianyu replied in a stern and serious tone. "Never ever." She added as Xin Yuexia nodded.
"I know… I'm just scared." Xin Yuexia smiled weakly. "I was scared of what I should do, I even thought of never telling you I'm pregnant but, I don't want to do that. You deserve to know the truth and make decisions for our family— no, I meant, us and our baby even if we wouldn't be a full family." She added as Tang Qianyu held her hand. "I'm sorry if I hurt you before by just leaving and never letting you explain your side. I'm so sorry." Tang Qianyu's face softened as she hugged Xin Yuexia.
"I was hurt a lot by what you did and the fact that you just brushed me off like nothing hurts more than you divorcing me." Tang Qianyu spoke as Xin Yuexia looked up at her apologetically. "I forgive you—only partly —but, of course, you still need to make it up to me if you want me to fully forgive what you did." Xin Yuexia nodded as Tang Qianyu caressed her cheeks.
"How would I repay you then?" Xin Yuexia asked as Tang Qianyu chuckled.
"By never leaving me and staying by my side until the day we grow old and die." Tang Qianyu replied as Xin Yuexia laughed softly.
"That's what I'm already planning on doing, fool." Xin Yuexia replied as she kissed Tang Qianyu's cheeks. "Speaking of which, are you and Qin Meiying still in contact?" She asked with her eyes probing Tang Qianyu for any lies.
"No." Tang Qianyu replied truthfully as Xin Yuexia frowned and observed her. "But we did meet when I went to the bar with my friends. She and I talked, she didn't fully tell me what happened but she said we'll talk again soon. I haven't seen her since then." She explained as Xin Yuexia remained staring at her.
"Then why do you have that weird smell on your body? Did you really just talk?" Xin Yuexia interrogated, as Tang Qianyu shook her head.
"No, I didn't do anything with her but she hugged my back and cried, she was trying to explain herself but didn't fully explain it so we just parted ways after that." Tang Qianyu replied as Xin Yuexia held her hand tightly.
"Then, would you swear in front of me that you haven't met with her since after that?" Xin Yuexia asked as Tang Qianyu nodded which made her frown. "Are you lying?" She asked doubtfully, taking Tang Qianyu aback as she stared at her confused.
"No," Tang Qianyu responded as Xin Yuexia remained doubtful. "I never even went out, aside from going to work and social events, I mostly stayed at home…. Do you not trust me?" She asked, looking quite hurt.
"I'm sorry, it's not like I didn't trust you at all, it's just…" Xin Yuexia paused as she held Tang Qianyu's hand tightly. "You two went to the same party a month ago and there's rumours circulating about the two of you coming back together." Xin Yuexia explained which left Tang Qianyu in disbelief.
She never checked the news and was mostly focused on her work, her assistant didn't say anything about those news circulating and she thought the rumours were merely Qin Meiying coming back and was planning on going back together with her, she didn't expect that even the common masses know now.
Tang Qianyu massaged her temples as she felt her head aching. Maybe the PR department did a great job to suppress those rumours and that's why she took too long to notice this that even her father didn't know about it. She sighed and looked at Xin Yuexia.
"I haven't met her since and I didn't know she went to that party, I was too focused on dealing with the investors to notice other people." Tang Qianyu explained. "I'm sorry." She spoke softly as Xin Yuexia smiled at her. "I didn't know those types of rumours were circulating, I thought it's just our social circle who knew." She explained as Xin Yuexia pinched her cheeks.
"I'm sorry for doubting you too." Xin Yuexia apologised as she giggled at the weird looking expression on Tang Qianyu's face. "But you really should start paying attention to your surroundings, my family almost went here to beat you up when they heard about it since I stayed at their place and was very vague about my explanation." Tang Qianyu chuckled and pushed her hands away as she kissed Xin Yuexia's cheeks.
"Yeah, I contacted your father yesterday and he got angry with me. He berated and shouted at me for an hour before hanging up." Tang Qianyu replied as she pouted. "He didn't even let me explain. I was quite hurt." She clutched her chest tightly in a theatrical manner as Xin Yuexia laughed and wrapped her hands around her neck and patted her head.
"Aww, my poor An-An is hurt. Do you want your dear wife to help you feel better?" Xin Yuexia teased as Tang Qianyu blushed and looked away. "What are you embarrassed for, An-an? Do you not want to?" She teased even more as Tang Qianyu mumbled something that Xin Yuexia couldn't hear. Xin Yuexia raised her eyebrows and looked at her as she smiled. "What is it?" She asked as Tang Qianyu looked at her, her face flushed with crimson red.
".... I can't do it with you when you're pregnant." Tang Qianyu whispered softly as Xin Yuexia stared at her blankly.
"Oh." Xin Yuexia laughed as she sat on Tang Qianyu's lap. "I never said anything about sex, though." She whispered into Tang Qianyu's ears. "You're such a pervert, An-an." She added with a slight sultry tone.
Tang Qianyu grumbled and complained under her breath as she closed her eyes, letting her wife teased her over and over again as she remained quiet until Xin Yuexia grew tired and got angry at her lack of response leaving Tang Qianyu in confusion. Is this what Lin Weichen and Chen Haoming were dealing with with their respective spouses? She didn't know it was this bad but she felt happy because Xin Yuexia is finally back.
•••••
"So you're telling me that those rumours are false, is that right?" Xin Yixiang asked in a cold tone as Tang Qianyu nodded while kneeling on the ground. He scoffed and looked at his wife, Wu Lihua, a beta. Though rare, it's not unusual to see BO couples.
"Dear, I think we should let her continue her explanation." Wu Lihua replied, coaxing her husband as he frowned and held her hands.
"No like, can you even hear what she said? 'I didn't divorce your daughter to be with my first love. I would never do that' that's practically bullshit!" Xin Yixiang explained as he pointed at Tang Qianyu. "Why would she leave Xiaoyu then when Xiaoyu is pregnant with her baby if it wasn't for that!" He huffed as Xin Yuexia chuckled awkwardly.
"It was me who proposed the divorce, dad." Xin Yuexia coughed as she answered, feeling embarrassed. Xin Yixiang clicked his tongue and patted his daughter's shoulder with a gentle smile.
"You don't need to make excuses for her, Xiaoyu." He spoke reassuringly as he glared at Tang Qianyu. "And you, you might've tricked my daughter to come back to you but I still won't accept this! No!" He shouted as Xin Yuexia and Wu Lihua sighed.
Xin Tianyi, Xin Yuexia's eldest brother, chimed in along with their youngest sister Xin Jiaruo. The three of them grilled Tang Qianyu who kneeled on the ground for half an hour before Wu Lihua stopped her husband and kids from scolding her daughter-in-law.
Tang Qianyu sat beside Xin Yuexia and held her hand for comfort as she looked at her with pitiful eyes. Xin Yuexia sighed and patted her head reminding her this is far from over and it would take a huge amount of time before they could be swayed to change their minds.
Tang Qianyu sighed and braced herself as she still needed to meet with Xin Yuexia's friends to explain what happened and boy would that be more stressful and scary than her in laws.
'When would this finally be over?!' Tang Qianyu wept.
•••••
Tang Qianyu returned home from a long day of work and as soon as she opened the door, a cute and chubby kid smiled widely as she reached her hand up to Tang Qianyu. Tang Qianyu's heart softened as she knelt down and picked up Tang Jinyue, who's called Baojin (Precious Jin). Baojin giggled as Tang Qianyu kissed her on both cheeks.
"Did our Baojin miss me?" Tang Qianyu asked as Baojin nodded her head which made Tang Qianyu pleased.
"Yes mommy, I missed you!" Baojin replied as Tang Qianyu hugged her tightly and walked inside, carrying Baojin who kept babbling about her day. "And then I met uncle Chen's babies and they are so cool!" Baojin flapped her hands around to act out what they were doing during their playdate.
"Really?" Tang Qianyu asked as they sat down the chair with Baojin sitting at Tang Qianyu's lap as she continued to talk about her day. Tang Qianyu listened and responded kindly despite her head feeling heavy and her eyes closing from time to time.
"Mommy! Wake up!" Baojin shouted as she slapped Tang Qianyu's cheeks lightly with her little hands that felt more like a peck than a slap.
"Mommy is very tired so don't be too harsh on mommy, okay?" The sweet voice of her wife, Xin Yuexia, echoed as Tang Qianyu opened her eyes and smiled back at Xin Yuexia with a sweet smile.
Tang Qianyu wrapped her right hand on Xin Yuexia's waist while her left hand held Baojin with her left hand. "I missed you." Tang Qianyu spoke softly as Xin Yuexia bent down and kissed her.
Baojin separated the two as she kissed both of her mothers, "Me too, mommies!" She spoke cheerfully as Tang Qianyu and Xin Yuexia smiled and kissed her back.
The two have been together for a decade and while it is such a long time the two spent together, they still have a lifetime to be happy, angry, sad, make up, and be together for eternity along with their child and possibly even more children. They never know where life would take them but they feel not fear for the unknown future but gratitude and contentment for they have each other in every step they'll take.