The sun peeked over the sky as Daewon stood in front of the tree he was training with for the past week. His palms were strongly pressed into the ground, his breath balanced as he kicked up into a handstand position. His arms trembled from the effort, but he clenched his teeth, determined to hold his balance.
"Seven... eight... nine..."
His body gave up, and he fell to the ground, groaning. Frustration built up in his chest as he sat up, rubbing the dirt off his hands.
"One more second. It's still not enough." he mumbled, glaring at the tree as if it was responsible for his failure.
He was determined that failure wouldn't affect him, Daewon got back on his feet. He then restarted his routine again: push-ups, squats, planks, and jogging laps around the park. His clothes were soaked in sweat, his muscles burned with pain, but he still pushed on kept going. Each exercise felt like a small battle for him, his body wasn't listening to his mind.
By the time he finished his training, Daewon fell onto the grass, staring up at the pale blue morning sky. His breathing was uncontrolled and came in slow, and despite the ache in his limbs, he still smiled proudly.
"Better than yesterday." he thought.
The walk home was slow and peaceful. The streets were still dead silent, the chill of the morning air blowing at his body. Daewon's legs were as heavy as iron. As he approached his house, the warmth of home already calling to him.
Inside, the familiar sound of dishes clattering welcomed him. Jinwoo was already seated at the dining table, scrolling on his phone while lazily munching on toast.
"Well speak of the devil, you're back." Jinwoo said, looking up for a short moment. He raised an eyebrow at Daewon's appearance. "You look like you've been through a war again."
Daewon ignored him and made his way to the kitchen. His mother turned from the stove, and checked Daewon's appearance with her sharp eyes. She then saw his sweaty, dirt covered clothes, and went crazy.
"Daewon! Again?!" she said, while crossing her arms. "You're going to ruin all your clothes at this point!"
"It's just exercising mom." he mumbled, grabbing a glass of water.
"I don't care if it's exercising or not!" she pressed him "You're acting way too suspicious these days! I want to know what you're doing! Even if it's exercising, you're overdoing it!
Daewon looked away, taking a long sip to avoid answering her questions. Jinwoo, never being the one to miss an opportunity, grinned from the table.
"Maybe he's training for some underground fight club. Maybe he took down a group of people in one go, that explains why he's always covered in dirt and sweat!" Jinwoo joked, shoving the last piece of toast into his mouth. "If I were you, mom. I'd ground him by now."
"Hahah, very funny." Daewon said, walking past them toward the hallway.
His mom sighed but didn't push further. "Whatever you're doing, it better be worth it sweetheart..."
At school, Daewon dragged himself through his classes, his body was sore and his eyelids were feeling heavy. By lunchtime, he was grateful for the chance to sit down and recharge. He found Seojun sitting under a tree like usually, in the courtyard. The sunlight was casting long shadows over the grass.
"Mind if I sit here, Seojun?" Daewon asked, holding his tray.
Seojun nodded slowly. "Go for it."
Daewon sat beside him, digging into his food. He then caught Seojun staring at him from the side of his eye.
"You've been looking a little rough today." Seojun said finally.
"Just tired" Daewon admitted, shrugging.
Seojun looked slightly worried. "Are you sleeping enough? You look like you're running low on energy." Maybe you should rest more.
"Something like that." Daewon said, trying to avoid the topic.
Seojun didn't press further, but he was still concerned of Daewon's current state. For the rest of of the lunch break, the two of them ate in silence, the silence was strangely comforting.
Later in the hallway, Daewon caught sight of Joon near his locker. He got caught off guard, but this time Daewon wasn't frightened by Joon. He focused on his breathing, keeping himself calm.
Joon's attention focused on Daewon for a short moment before he scoffed and turned away, he then pushed someone away as they were in his way. "Move."
Daewon exhaled slowly, relief was washing over him. It wasn't a confrontation, but it wasn't peace either.
After school, Daewon changed into his workout clothes and headed back to the park. The chill evening air cleared his mind, the gentle sounds of birds chirping in the distance relaxed him.
He went through his routine again and again, focusing on each movement with clear precision. This time, he managed to hold his handstand for fifteen seconds before crashing into the ground. The fall knocked the wind out of him, but he couldn't stop smiling because of his achievement.
"Progress... finally!" he whispered, brushing dirt of his knees.
As the sun slowly began to set, Daewon lay on the grass, his chest rising and falling in a balanced rhythm. He thought about everything Mr. Hwan had taught him: Balance, control, and patience.
By the time he returned home, his house was quiet. His mom was in the living room folding laundry, while Jinwoo was on the couch, absorbed in his video game.
"You're dirty again." Haejin said without looking up. "Daewon, this is becoming a habit."
"Just another run." he said quickly, grabbing a towel from the bathroom.
"Uh-huh" his mom said, clearly unconvinced. "Make sure you clean up before dinner."
Jinwoo looked at Daewon for a second, smirking. "Another run? You've been doing a lot of these lately. What's the deal, big bro?"
"Nothing, don't worry." Daewon said.
Jinwoo laughed. "Whatever you're up to, you better not pass out one day. If you forgot, you're not exactly Superman.
Ignoring him, Daewon retreated to take a shower.
In the bathroom, Daewon turned on the water, the sound of running water echoed in the bathroom. As he stepped in the shower, the warm water sprayed him. He felt the tension and pain in his muscles start to ease. The dirt and sweat washed away, swirling down the drain, but his thoughts still remained unsettled.
"Still not good enough." he said, letting the water run over his face.
He then replayed the morning's training in his mind, the falls, the shaky movements. Progress was there, but it wasn't enough to satisfy him.
Reaching for the soap, Daewon noticed his reflection in the fogged mirror. He wiped it clear with his hand and stared at himself. His shoulders were wider, his arms got a little bit more shaped. The small changes were there, subtle but clear.
"You're getting stronger." he told himself, his voice solid.
As he stepped out of the shower and dried off, a renewed determination filled him with hope. He wasn't where he wanted to be yet, but he was moving forward.
Later that night, Daewon sat on his bed, the book was open in front of him. His body was still sore, his mind was exhausted, but he forced himself to focus on the text.
Control your breathing to control your body.
He closed his eyes, practicing the rhythm Mr. Hwan had taught him. Each breath felt like a step forward, a small victory. When he opened his eyes again, he scribbled a sentence in his notebook:
Each fall is another step forward.
Putting the book away, Daewon lay back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. The ache in his muscles was a reminder of today's effort, but it didn't bother him at all.
"Tomorrow will be better." he whispered, setting his alarm for another early morning.