Dear diary
....
I woke up early, feeling the warmth of the sun peeking through the curtains. I stretched my arms, yawned, and swung my legs over the side of the bed. My lovely fiancé, Clyde, was still fast asleep beside me, his chest rising and falling with each gentle breath.
I smiled, feeling grateful for this life we'd built together. We'd been engaged for five years now, and we'd decided to focus on building our family and careers before tying the knot. I will always be greatful for the love I have.
I slipped out of bed and padded softly to the nursery. Our daughter, Salomi, was sleeping peacefully in her bed, her tiny chest rising and falling with each breath. She looked exactly like me - same black wavy hair, same green eyes, same mischievous grin. I felt my heart swell with love for my little girl, I definitely spoiled her too much.
I sat down beside her and gently stroked her hair. She stirred in her sleep, and I smiled, feeling a sense of contentment wash over me.
After a few moments, I got up and checked on Arohi,to make sure she doesn't cry to Clyde about me not loving her. I frowned as I remembered my arguments with Clyde, always about her.
She was sleeping in her own room, a sweet smile on her face. I felt a pang of...not exactly love, but humanly carefor this little girl who'd been thrust into our lives. I didn't hate her but I couldn't love her, anytime I stared at her, I see my sister and guilt overwhelms me.
I'd tried to love Arohi like my own, but it was hard. I was only human, after all. I couldn't force myself to feel something that didn't come naturally. But I'd promised Clyde that I'd try, and I had. I'd done my best to be a good mother to both Salomi and Arohi, even if I didn't feel the same way about both of them.
As I watched Arohi sleep, I felt a sense of guilt wash over me. I knew I wasn't being fair to her, that I was holding back my love and affection. But I just couldn't help it. My heart belonged to Salomi, and I couldn't seem to muster up the same feelings for Arohi.
I sighed and got up, deciding to focus on the positive aspects of my life. I had a beautiful daughter, a loving fiancé, and a comfortable home. What more could I ask for?
I headed downstairs to start breakfast, feeling a sense of purpose wash over me. As I cooked, I heard the sound of little feet pattering down the stairs. Salomi and Arohi were awake, and they were hungry.
I smiled, feeling a sense of joy wash over me. This was what it meant to be a mother - to provide for your children, to care for them, and to love them with all your heart.
As we sat down to eat breakfast together, I felt grateful for this little family of ours. We might not be perfect, but we loved each other, and that's all that mattered.
...
I smiled as I dished out food for the girls. Salomi was chatting excitedly about her crazy dream, so cute and funny, while Arohi was watching me with adoring eyes. Despite my struggles to connect with her, Arohi had always looked up to me, and it was hard to resist her charms, so I mostly unconsciously snubbed her.
Just then, Clyde came downstairs, kissing the girls on the cheek and ruffling their hair. "Good morning, my favorite girls!" he exclaimed, making them giggle.
He sat down beside me, and I handed him a plate of food. We chatted about our plans for the day as we ate. I had a busy schedule ahead of me, with a fan signing event and a meeting with my agent.
As we finished up breakfast, I glanced at the clock. "I should get going," I said, standing up and kissing the girls goodbye.
Clyde walked me to the door, his arm around my shoulders. "Have a great day, beautiful," he said, kissing me softly on the lips.
I smiled and headed out the door, feeling grateful for this life we'd built together.
As I drove to the fan signing event, I couldn't help but think about my family. Salomi was my mini-me, and I loved her to death. But Arohi...Arohi was a different story. I wanted to love her just as much as Salomi, but it was hard. I felt guilty for feeling this way, but I couldn't help it.
I pushed the thoughts aside and focused on the task at hand. I had a long day ahead of me, and I needed to be "on" for my fans.