I open my eyes. I'm awake because I heard some people were talking in this room. But after I open my eyes, nobody here. Probably they've already left this room. And then I'm trying to sleep again. Before I fell asleep, I heard the sound of the door opening. I don't mean to open my eyes, I just want to sleep now. Slowly I heard the sound of crying. So I open my eyelids.
"Mom, don't cry, please." I spoke to the woman who was sitting next to my bed.
"How can I not cry? Doctor told me you must have a donor for your heart soon, but now. . . No body else can donate their heart for you. Temporary your condition is so weak now." My mother spoke while sobbing, occasionally wiping her tears with a handkerchief.
"Everything is gonna be okay, Mom. Trust me, I will be healed." I'm trying to calm this woman who gave birth to me. But actually, I'm not sure about it.
"It's my fault, if I could have had more attention for you, this wouldn't have happened with you. I'm not a good mother. I shouldn't have been busy working and ignoring you." Now my mom touches my hand.
I could see a look of regret on my mother's face. It was actually not 100 percent her fault. I also share some of the blame for this incident. I can't take good care of my body. While both my parents were busy working, I lived a messy life. I always smoke, drink alcohol and often stay up late with my friends every day. And a few months ago I had a car accident because I was driving my vehicle under the influence of alcohol. Because of the accident the doctor discovered that there was a problem with my heart. And a few days ago the doctor suggested that I have a heart transplant immediately. But, who will donate their heart to me?
"How was your day, Mr. Louise?" A man came in my room after my Mom returned home.
"Yeah, as you see, I'm still alive now." I answered this man's question sarcastically. While glancing at my chest which was attached to several medical devices that I didn't know the name of.
This man smiled when he heard the sentence I just said. This man is a nurse at this hospital. Every day he would visit my room to check on my condition. He will inject drugs into my IV tube.
"Don't say that. I believe someday there will be someone who can be a donor for your heart." This male nurse gave me encouragement as usual.
"Why don't any of them have the same heart size as me?" I asked because I was very curious. I once heard the doctor say that a heart donor had arrived at this hospital. But after examining the heart, the medical staff said that the heart was not compatible with mine.
"Heart size? What do you mean?" The nurse asked me with a confused expression on his face.
"The doctor once told me that there was a heart donor for me. But after they checked that heart didn't match for me. But I don't know for sure, if the heart was so big or so small for me, because they don't explain it to me." I tell him and he suddenly laughs.
"I didn't expect you to think like that." He spoke while holding back his laughter.
"Why are you laughing, what's so funny?" I said in an annoyed tone.
This male nurse tried to stop laughing before talking to me. "Please listen to me Mr. Louise. The first, in fact all sizes of hearts are the same. Except a kid because they will grow again. When wanting to perform an organ transplant, the doctor will check compatibility by performing a blood test. What's making the heart not match is actually a blood type. So the fact is your blood type and the donor heart are not the same. Even if an organ transplant operation is successful, doctors still have to check whether the patient's body can accept the organ. Do you understand now, Mr. Louise?" He explained to me while tidying up the medical equipment he used earlier.
"I don't know about medical, so it's not my fault." I can only say that to cover my embarrassment.
"You've made me realize something." He said while looking at my IV tube.
"About what?" I asked confusedly.
"I want to give life to others after I lost mine." He spoke with a faint smile then he walked away.
I don't understand what that means. Later when he comes to my room again, I will ask him. But the male nurse never wanted to explain to me what he meant by that. 'Nothing' was all he said to me. He is such an annoying guy!
"Hey, tonight is my time to accompany you. Are you happy now?" A girl came in my room after the nurse left this room.
"Finally you came here. Yeah, because if you're here my Mom has a bed rest time." I said while seeing her putting any paper bag on the table in this room.
I know that inside the paper bag are her equipment while this girl accompanies me here.
"Okay, whatever you say. By the way, you seem to be very familiar with that male nurse. What's his name? I would like to thank the male nurse for being a patient with a fussy patient like you." She said and got out some things from the paper bag.
"You call me fussy? Then you don't come here!" I waved my hand at this girl using the hand that wasn't using the IV tube.
"His name is...? I think I've forgotten to ask his name." I'm trying to remember about him. Fool me, I never know what his name is.
I tried to lean against the headboard. I can only lie in this bed every day. Sometimes my family or the male nurse would take me out of this room using a wheelchair. The doctor said that I shouldn't be too tired. I stayed in the hospital too so the medical team could monitor my heart rate. But since this morning my chest has been feeling a little sore. And now, I can't stand this pain. Even when I take a breath it feels like my chest is being stabbed by needles. I tried managing my breath to reduce pain in my chest. But it's not working.
"What's wrong with you? Don't scare me! Someone please help me! Doctor!" Faintly I heard her screaming. Because after that I can't see anything. My vision was blurry and suddenly black out.
***
Ten Years Later.
"The result of your medical check up, everything was going well. The results of your blood test were also good. No problem with your body." The mid-age man gave me an explanation while reading some paper on his hand.
I just listened carefully to the man's explanation to me. After that he put the paper on the table. The man who wore this white coat started writing something on paper. And then he tears the paper he wrote earlier.
"It's just vitamins for you. If you always keep your healthy lifestyle, then you don't need to eat any medicines anymore." He said while giving me a piece of paper that he had torn earlier.
Today is my time for consultation with a doctor. Yeah, the man who was talking to me was a doctor. I always consult with him every month. Actually I don't have illness, but I have had heart surgery.
"Okay, Dr. Drey. I will listen to your advice." I took a piece of paper which one he gave me.
I started to get up of my chair. I already know if this consultation is finished. I walked towards the door of this room, after arriving at the door, I held the doorknob.
"Mr. Louise!" I can hear Dr. Drey call my name.
And because he called me, I turned to look at Dr. Drey. I saw him standing now.
"I think you only need six months once for consultation with me. So you don't need to come here once a month anymore." Dr. Drey talking without looking at me, he quotes some paper on his table.
"But, Dr. Drey hmm I don't think it's a good idea." I racked my brain, trying to find a reason to reject his words. I know Dr. Drey said like that because he was bored meeting me every month. And it's because he's so busy with another patient. Dr. Drey is a well-known heart specialist in this city. So it is not surprising that many people who have a history of heart disease want to seek treatment from him.
"Yes, I think so. See you in six months later Mr. Louise." The man in the white coat politely shooed me away, then pressed a button on something on his desk. Not long after, the door opened and someone who I believed was Dr. Drey's patient entered this room. I immediately walked out because the door was open.
*Continued*