---
The rain poured down in relentless sheets, soaking me to the bone. It was exactly what I needed. I didn't want the comfort of a car or the quiet hum of the engine. I needed the cold, the dampness, the sting of each droplet against my skin. I needed something—anything—to dull the chaos in my head.
Each step I took felt heavier than the last, weighed down by everything I couldn't make sense of. My mind was a storm of regrets, questions, and a growing anger I needed a quite place. The streets were empty, the world muted by the sound of rain hitting pavement. It was just me, my thoughts, and the rain—until I heard it.
"Daræy, you bastard!"
The voice tore through the downpour like a sharp blade, snapping me out of my daze. I barely had time to turn before a fist connected with my face, sending a sharp jolt of pain through my jaw.
Ah! That hurt. Of course it hurt. My cheek throbbed, the sting of the punch mixing with the cold of the rain. I stumbled back, instinctively raising my hand to touch my face.
Justin stood there, his eyes blazing with fury, his fists clenched like he was ready for round two. "How could you?" he yelled, his voice raw and trembling. "How could you be so foolish?"
I stared at him, breathing hard, the anger bubbling up inside me. But I didn't lash out. I couldn't. Justin had always been a hothead, but this… this was something else.
Before I could even think of a response, Joshua stepped in between us, his voice firm but calm. "Guys, come on. You don't have to fight over a girl. Seriously, a girl?"
Justin wasn't having it. He shoved Joshua aside and turned his fiery gaze back to me. "I told you not to break her heart!" he yelled. "I warned you! And yet, here we are."
I opened my mouth to speak, but before the words could come, his fist found my stomach. The impact knocked the wind out of me, leaving me doubled over in pain.
I straightened up slowly, rain dripping from my hair, mixing with the blood I could taste in my mouth. My jaw tightened as I locked eyes with him, but I didn't move.
Justin glared at me, his chest heaving. "You're a coward," he spat. "You couldn't just leave her alone, could you? You had to ruin her, like you ruin everything else."
His words stung more than his fists ever could. I wanted to fight back, to scream at him, to tell him he didn't understand, but I couldn't. There was a line, and I wouldn't cross it—not with Justin.
"Justin, stop," Joshua said, stepping in again, his voice firmer this time. "You're not helping anyone. And you," he said, turning to me, "don't just stand there like a punching bag. Say something."
But I couldn't. What was I supposed to say? That I didn't mean to hurt anyone? That I didn't even understand why I did what I did? That I hated myself for it as much as Justin seemed to hate me right now?
Instead, I just stood there, letting the rain wash over me, hoping it could somehow cleanse the mess I'd made of everything.
Justin shook his head, his face a mix of disgust and disappointment. "You're not even worth it," he muttered before turning and walking away, his footsteps splashing in the puddles.
Joshua looked at me, his expression softer, almost pitying. "Daræy, man… you need to figure out what you're doing. This… this isn't it."
I didn't respond. I just watched as he followed Justin, leaving me alone in the rain once again.
I stood there for a long time, the ache in my face and stomach a dull reminder of what had just happened. But the real pain wasn't physical. It was the guilt, the regret, the weight of knowing I had let everyone down—including myself.
I sighed, the breath shaky and uneven. Maybe Justin was right. Maybe I didn't deserve anything better.
As the rain continued to fall, I started walking again, each step heavier than the last. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew I couldn't stay still. Not now.
---
The rain poured relentlessly, each droplet slapping against my skin like a reminder of my mistakes. I walked without purpose, my feet carrying me forward while my mind stayed stuck in the past. I should've been thinking about Anita—about how I'd screwed things up so badly, about how Justin was ready to kill me for the way I'd ended things with her.
But I wasn't. Instead, my thoughts betrayed me, drifting back to her.
Tessa.
Why her? Why now? I shook my head, trying to banish her from my mind, but it was pointless. Her face, her voice, that moment—it all kept coming back. Two weeks had passed since it happened, and still, I couldn't shake her from my thoughts. Every time I touched my lips, I felt hers. Every time I closed my eyes, she was there. It was as though she'd etched herself into my very being.
And yet, I knew I shouldn't be thinking of her. Not now. Not when Anita was the one I should be grappling with—the girl I'd broken up with so recklessly, so stupidly. I could've ended things better; even I knew that. But that day, her actions caught me off guard, pushing me into a corner I wasn't ready for.
As the rain soaked me to the bone, I couldn't help but flash back to the moment it all unraveled.
---
It was a Monday evening. Two weeks since the kiss. Two weeks since everything changed.
I'd spent those days in a haze, trying—and failing—to push Tessa out of my mind. I hadn't told anyone about her, not Justin, not Joshua, not Noah. Anytime they brought her up, even as a passing joke, I shut it down. I acted like she didn't matter, like she was just another fleeting moment in my chaotic life.
But the truth?
The truth was that she terrified me.
Not because I didn't like her. Not because I didn't miss her. It was the opposite. I did like her. I did miss her. And that scared me more than I wanted to admit.
Look at Anita—three months of dating her, and what did I feel? Nothing. I'd been with her for all the wrong reasons. Stupid, shallow reasons. She was there to make me feel like someone I wasn't. She fed the image I wanted to project—the guy who had it all together. But none of it was real. Not her. Not us.
I was sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the screen in front of me. The glow of the TV did nothing to distract me. The images blurred together, meaningless, as my thoughts spiraled deeper into the mess I'd created.
And then Anita walked in.
"Babe," she called, her tone bright and cheerful, like nothing was wrong. She walked toward me with something in her hand. "Thank you for the gift!" she beamed, showing off a pair of shoes—or maybe it was another wig. I didn't care enough to notice.
Before I could respond, she leaned down and kissed me.
Her lips on mine... they jolted me like a slap. Not because it was unpleasant, but because it wasn't her. It wasn't Tessa. My body stiffened, rage bubbling to the surface.
"What the hell are you doing?" I snapped, my voice sharper than I intended.
Anita pulled back, startled. Her smile faltered as confusion spread across her face. "What?"
"What were you thinking?" I barked, standing up abruptly.
Her confusion turned to hurt. "What's wrong with you? I'm your girlfriend. I can kiss you if I want to."
"Not anymore," I said, the words cold and final. "Get out."
Her eyes widened in disbelief. "Are you serious? You're breaking up with me because I kissed you?"
"You heard me. Get out of my house," I repeated, my voice shaking—not with hesitation, but with the fury I was barely holding back.
"Daræy, you're insane," she said, trying to regain control of the situation. "What's wrong with you?"
I didn't answer. My fists clenched at my sides as I stared at the floor, jaw tight. She didn't deserve the full weight of my anger, but I couldn't explain it. Not to her. Not to anyone.
After a long pause, Anita grabbed her things and headed for the door. She hesitated before leaving, looking back at me one last time, as if hoping I'd stop her. Say something. Anything. But I didn't.
When the door closed behind her, silence engulfed me. I sank against the wall, breathing unevenly. The guilt was suffocating, but beneath it, I felt relief.
Anita wasn't the one I wanted. She never had been.
My thoughts drifted back to Tessa, as they always did. I could still see her, feel her. And for the first time, I let myself admit it: I didn't want to forget her. I didn't want to let her go. But wanting her? That was a whole new kind of danger.
The sky outside darkened, and the rain began to fall—fitting, really. I thought about running after Anita, apologizing, fixing the mess I'd made. But I didn't move. I stayed frozen in place, consumed by my own selfishness.
I deserved this, I thought. Whatever storm was coming, I had brought it on myself.
---
Now, here I was, three days later, standing in the pouring rain, reeling from Justin's punches.
The sting in my jaw reminded me of everything that had gone wrong. Justin's words echoed in my mind: "How could you do this to her?"
I couldn't even answer him. What was I supposed to say? That he was right? That I'd screwed up? That I'd let my emotions drive me to ruin?
As the rain drenched me, I walked aimlessly, the weight of my mistakes pressing down harder with every step.
Eventually, I found myself back at my house, though I couldn't remember how I'd gotten there. I stood at the doorway, staring at the handle, my hand trembling as I reached for it.
I knew I'd have to face Justin again. Face Anita. Face everyone. But not tonight. Tonight, I was too tired, too broken to deal with any of it.
The saying goes, "We live to fight another day." Funny. Never once did I think the fight would be with my best friend.
But maybe I deserved it.
As I stepped inside, the rain still pounding outside, I let out a shaky breath. The storm wasn't over yet—not outside, and certainly not within me.