It was now the next day after I completed the second stage of the quest, and I was standing in the kitchen putting the meat from the Beowolves through the meat grinder. Since I couldn't find a use for the meat, I decided that I was going to use it to make Beoburgers for a 'light snack'.
"This skill still feels weird as hell. It's like I'm seeing two layers of reality at the same time." I said as I filled up another bowl with the ground Grimm meat.
The skill I was referring to was Movement Prediction, as I'm now incapable of not being able to predict where something will move. Which is useful for if I ever have to deal with a fast enemy again, or if someone shoots at me, but not so useful when I'm just trying to cook. It felt like I was constantly watching a 3D movie without the glasses.
"Hopefully I get used to this soon." I put another bowl under the grinder before I decided to make conversation with the system.
"Hey, System, did my anger yesterday seem any different from the other times I used Bloody Berserker?" I questioned as I pulled out more meat from my inventory and put it on the cutting board next to the grinder.
[Answer: Affirmative. Your adrenaline and cortisol levels were reduced by 15% during the Second Stage]
"Hm? Any idea why that is?" I mindlessly started to chop the meat, knowing full well that I wouldn't cut myself thanks to the Master Chef skill.
[Answer: It was most likely due to the music that you requested the System to play during the stage, as you previously made no strives to control your easily enraged state]
"Damn, does that mean I'll have to treat fights like musicals if I don't want to accidentally kill someone with Bloody Berserker?" Over this last month I learned pretty damn well just how dog shit I am at controlling my anger, so that might be the only way to control my semblance, so I don't randomly kill people with it.
[Answer: All signs do point to that conclusion, yes]
"So, I have to be a damn Disney princess on the battlefield then? Fuck it, if I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna fuck with people the whole time. System, pull up a list of every song you got." While I placed the now chopped up Beowolf meat into the meat grinder the system did as I asked, and I instantly regretted it.
"System... why can't I see anymore?" Everywhere I looked all I could see were red panels with the names of songs and bands on them.
[Answer: The System has access to every song in the multiverse, so the list of songs provided by the System can not be limited to a single panel]
"You know what, I'm just gonna name you already, because I can't deal with this robotic Siri type shit anymore." It was getting pretty annoying just talking to something that has as much personality as a late-night talk show host. So, with me unable to see the meat grinder anymore, I might as well just name it now.
The system has red panel's, which I often think of blood when I see them, the book on aura that it gave me is probably forbidden knowledge, judging by how I got cursed, and, finally, the rewards I get will definitely be used to kill people at some point. So, with that in mind, I could only think of one name that should fit it.
"Azazel. From now on you'll be Azazel." The moment I said that all the system panels that filled my vision disappeared, and in their place was now a loading bar. With my vision, somewhat, free of any distractions, I got back to working on the Beowolf meat.
[Seriously? You named me after the fucking scapegoat?]
It was only after I finished turning the rest of the meat into ground 'beef', seasoning it, and turning it into patties, that the system finished loading.
"Consider that payback for always acting like a smart ass, even when you couldn't process how to be one." I said as I pulled out the cast iron to cook the patties on the stove.
[You asked for answers, I gave you answers. Of course some of them are gonna come off as me being a smart ass when they're basic bitch questions!]
"Oh fuck you! Excuse me for not having much experience with having a system or being forcefully put in a literal child's body!" I yelled at Azazel as I placed the patties on the skillet.
[Your lonely ass read plenty of fanfics about anime women getting eaten out by the reader! You literally have more than enough knowledge on the subject, bitch!]
"Joder un pez, pendejo! At least I wasn't the one who was programmed with the personality of fucking dry wall!"
[At least I don't look like a blonde vampire loli!]
"Well at least I didn't name you something like Ted, you bodiless piece of shit!"
[Oh fucking hell! I would've been so pissed if you named me that, you short blonde cunt!]
"It feels so good to actually talk to you."
[Yeah, this is nice]
It really was nice, even if we were literally just insulting each other, it still felt pretty refreshing for us to actually have a conversation. Though, that might just be because I haven't talked to anyone for over a month, and because Azazel was finally able to have an opinion on shit.
[So, what's the plan for now? Are you gonna take another month to get used to your new shit again, or are gonna take on the next stage soon?]
"Well, first I still need that list of songs from you, preferably the ones from my old world." I said as I took the now cooked patties off the skillet and put a few more on. "But, other than that, I think I'd like to take a few days making some guns, so I can have more options for ranged attacks."
[Yeah, you might want to wait a bit before you start making any firearm]
Azazel said as he pulled up a list of songs that I could actually recognize, though I looked at his dialogue panel with confusion.
"And why do I need to wait?" I asked as I flipped the patties on the skillet and left the list of songs for later.
[Cause the shit in that room, that I originally got for you, can only be used to make the weapons shown in RWBY, none of it can be altered to make a regular gun. So, I'll have to put in a request to get the shit needed for you to actually use your gunsmith skill]
"A request? A request to who? Your creator?" I thought that something like this would require him to get permission from his creator, but I felt like my brain restarted at what he said next.
[Nah, she may be a Goddess of Knowledge, and other things, but this is far from her expertise. I'll have to put one in with Hephaestus to actually get the gear you need]
"Hephaestus?..." A god, another god, another Greek god to be exact, that's who he needed to put in a request with.
[Yeah, she is the Blacksmith Goddess after all, even her old equipment is leagues better than anything a human could get]
"She? Danmachi got that shit right?" Surprisingly that didn't shock me as much, mostly cause if Loki and the other gods can change their genders on a whim, then why can't Hephaestus?
[Surprisingly that show got a lot of shit right, especially Hestia's personality, it was almost like they knew her personally. Can't say the same for the rest though]
"I- I really should not be surprised at this point." I said as I finished cooking up some more Beoburgers. "Go ahead and put in the request then. But, while you do, can you get me some paper and pencils, I want to see if I can draw some gun blueprints."
[Yeah, sure! I'll put them on the coffee table]
"Coffee table?" I said as I looked towards the living room where there was only the couch and the bookshelves with the stuff I need to study.
[Oh. You'd think with me being a glorified AI before I wouldn't forget something like that. I'll just put it in the living room now then]
As he said that, a wooden coffee table appeared in front of the couch with a few neat stacks of paper, and a few pencils, placed in the middle of it.
[Now, with that out of the way, do you need anything else, or can I finally go and make the request?]
"Nah, go ahead dude. You already restocked the fridge, so I'll be fine." I waved him off as started to store away the Beoburger patties that I finished.
With that he stopped talking altogether, I think it meant he left to make the request, but I couldn't really tell since I didn't feel any different. I would have continued cooking the rest of the meat, but I kept glancing at the giant stacks of paper on my new table.
"You know... maybe I can hold off on cooking for a bit. Just a sketch or two shouldn't hurt... right?" I said as I turned off the stove and walked over to the couch.
"Yeah, what could possibly go wrong?" I said as I sat down, and grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil.
_____________
While Eve was about to learn the hard way why you should never say that phrase, in the workshop of Hephaestus the sound of a hammer hitting iron could be heard as clear as day.
At the moment the eye-patch wearing blacksmith was working on another sword. Not because someone needed a new one, but because she didn't want to get rusty after not being given a 'worthy' project in what felt like a millennia.
While she continued to hammer away at the metal, Azazel's panel appeared behind her.
[Um, excuse me, ma'am?]
Her hammer stopped mid-swing, and she was about to yell at the person who decided to interrupt her work. "Can't you tell I'm busy-" But, her gaze softened as she saw the small red panel behind her. "Oh, it's you, the Chaos System, right?"
[Yes, ma'am. Though, I was recently named Azazel by my Host]
"Host? She actually found a soul compatible with you? That's good, your monotone way of speaking before was pretty annoying." Hephaestus said as she placed the metal that she was shaping back into the flames of her forge.
[Believe me, it wasn't pleasant for me either]
"Hah, I bet! Not being able to speak your mind, or rather, not having mind to speak, must've been pretty shitty for you!" She let out a chuckle as she said this, but her expression quickly turned serious the next second.
"Now, I doubt you came here to exchange pleasantries. So. What do you want from me? Or rather, what does your host want?" The red haired goddess said as she crossed her arms over her chest.
[It's less what she wants, and more what I know she needs. I only ask that you consider the plea of this lowly creation]
Azazel said in a meek tone, which seemed out of character from how he talked with Eve prior. But, he knew better than to speak casually with a being that could easily fuck over his host while she's still weak. His creator made sure he understood that well, even when he didn't trully have a mind of his own.
"Oh? Pray tell then, what is it that the kid needs that your creator can't provide with a wave of her hand?" She said as she leaned back on her anvil, a scrutinizing look in her eyes.
[Your old tools and forge, the ones you used before you made Zeus's thunderbolts]
Hephaestus had to read his panel again to make sure she heard, and read, what he said properly. After what felt like several painful minutes of silence, for Azazel, the goddess finally responded with a hearty laugh.
"Hahahaha! You seriously expect me- Me! To just give away my shit that easily, to a kid I don't even know! That has got to be the best joke I've heard in a long time!" She continued to laugh for a couple minutes, until she started to actually tear up from how much she was laughing.
[I-I'm not joking, Ms. Hephaestus]
She immediately stopped laughing and looked at Azazel with a cold expression as he said that. The goddess was about to tear him a new one, but before she could, a blonde man with orange eyes wearing a satchel casually entered her workshop as if he had been there millions of times prior.
"Hepha! I got a message from Ptah, he wants your opinion on his new- Oh shit! Its the Chaos System! How's it going man!" The man smiled widely as he saw Azazel's panel in front of the goddess of blacksmiths.
[Oh! Hello Hermes, it's nice to see you again]
"Holy fuck! You're not sounding like a robot anymore! I guess Eve finally picked out a name for you! How's she doing after the fight with those Beowolves, by the way? She seemed pretty pissed after killing the boss." The man, now identified as Hermes, said as he walked up to Azazel's panel.
[She's actually doing pretty good right now, she was even turning the corpses of them into what she calls 'Beoburgers' before I came here]
"Pfft-! Of course she fucking would! That kid is definetely my favorite kind of crazy!" Hermes laughed as he continued to casually speak with Azazel, much to the confusion of Hephaestus.
"Excuse me, Hermes, why the hell are you treating this thing like its a friend of yours? And why does it seem like you know its host too?" She asked, not understanding the dynamic between a member of her family and the thing before them.
"First off, he's not a thing, he's- Oh shit, sorry, I forgot to ask what name Eve gave you." He said, realizing his mistake prior.
[Oh, that's okay, Hermes. She actually named me, Azazel]
"Aza- Damn, good thing I gave her my blessing when I had the chance, cause it looks like she was right." The messanger god said, before whispering under his breath. "Looks like I'll have to tell the others to hurry up with theirs.'
"Wha- You gave a blessing to this things host?! Hermes, what the hell!? You know better than anyone what that means!" Hephaestus shouted at the blonde god with fear lacing her voice, even if she wouldn't admit it.
"Like I was saying before, he's not a thing, he has a name, and that's Azazel. Also, so what?" Hermes said casually, as if he didn't care about what he had done.
"So what? So what?! You just admitted to siding with the kid that is destined to destroy Olympus!! Why are you treating this like it's just another Friday?!" She yelled at him, her voice booming through the workshop like an erupting volcano.
"Because I don't care anymore. I don't care about the Fates, who are obviously just afraid of someone they have no knowledge about. I don't care if Olympus falls, because we have built it upon the deaths and suffering of millions. And, I don't care because this kid, this one kid, has unknowlingly been doing more good for humanity THAN THE REST OF OUR PANTHEON COMBINED!!" He yelled right back at her, rage evident in his gaze when he thought back to what they had all done.
"What the hell are you talking about!? We've done plenty of....." Hephaestus tried to deny his words, but she quickly realized that outside of Nyx, her childeren, Hestia, Hades, and maybe Persephone, the majority of them have mostly fucked over humanity, or each other, in one way or another.
"See! You can't even say it, because you know it's true! We've killed, cursed, started wars, raped, and much more! Meanwhile this kid has been nothing but a saint in comparison! Sure, she killed more people than some of us, but all of those people either did her ten times worse, went out of their way to hurt children, or genuinely deserved it! Even now, her very existence is actively changing the course of history, and saving the lives of hundreds of thousands!!" Hermes yelled as he took out a scroll from his satchel and opened it.
"Look at this! I checked the variant of Remnant that the Grimm she kills are from, and a fuck ton of people that were meant to die by those Grimm, are still alive! All because the Grimm that she killed, that Azazel here modified, actually killed off all of those Grimm for the next ten years!" He said as he handed her the scroll with the information on that world.
"Not only that, but I checked the variant of the My Hero world she now calls home too, and there have been an influx of villains around the world turning themselves in! All because Nezu put the translated version of her message on the internet, the same one she got Azazel to make, after the man convinced Sir Nighteye to translate it for him! And these guys aren't doing this because they believe the message, but because if the same person who made the beam of light that shook Japan came after them, then they would rather take their chances in prison!" He ranted as he tossed another scroll to the shocked goddess in front of him.
"She's barely done anything, and yet she has done some of our jobs better than us already! So, sorry if me siding with the kid, who's obviously gonna win no matter what we do, upsets you, but I don't give a fuck." Hermes said before he started to walk out of her workshop, not caring anymore about the message he came here to deliver earlier.
"Oh, and before I forget. Azazel, thank you for giving me the chance to give Eve my blessing, she deserves it." With that he left the room, not giving Hephaestus any more chances to argue with him.
[Umm... So, is that a no on the request?]
Azazel didn't really know what else to say after hearing all of that. Because, before he was named, he was just doing what Eve asked him to do, and giving her what she needed at the time. But now, now he's actually learned just how much chaos she's been sowing, and he has no idea how to process that.
"Just... just take it already..." Hephaestus said as she also went to exit her workshop, probably to go question her life after hearing that a kid is doing better than literal gods.
[I probably shouldn't tell Eve what happened here, I doubt she'll like knowing that she inadvertently made a goddess have an existential crisis]
Azazel said after he was left alone in the workshop, before disappearing and heading back to his host. He also made sure to take the equipment that he requested, as it would be dumb to leave it there after everything.
____________
[Hey, Eve, I'm back- The fuck!? How did you make this much of a mess!? I wasn't even gone for that long!]
What Azazel saw when he got back was me sitting in the corner with papers filled with blueprints thrown around, and every surface in the living room also covered in firearm blueprints, even the ceiling.
"Honestly... I have no fucking clue... One moment I was sketching a revolver, and the next... this." I said as I gestured to my surroundings, my eyes looking slightly vacant as I had trouble processing how I managed to do this so quickly.
[I- J-just go to your room, I'll clean up, and see if I can get some of these transferred to paper, or something. I am never leaving you unsupervised ever again]