Turning Back the Clock
I was fated to die.
I always knew that this was my destiny.
I felt powerless to fight it, so I didn't fight it.
Bound, naked, and alone on a stone dais in a cave devoid of all light and warmth. What have I accomplished? As the 6th daughter of the 6th son of the emperor's 6th wife, I have nothing to show for my life. Royalty without hope of succession. All I can offer the world is my blood spilled upon the ground.
I shiver, looking for my executioner. A figure holding a torch advance toward me, bringing with them a sliver of light and warmth. From the darkness, the figure – figure gain substance, one cloaked figure becomes five.
Silver flashes in the torchlight as one of the people draws a long dagger.
Maybe if I hold out, someone will save me. Maybe my family hasn't forsaken me.
I struggle against my bounds, cold rough stone digs into my skin. The gravity of it all sinks in. No last words, no explanation, only blood, steel and stone. I don't want this. "No! I don't want to die!"
Someone grabs hold of my hair and wrenches my head up. I try to focus on their face. If all I can do now is curse them, I need to do at least that. The man's face is familiar, but I can't place his name. His eyes are icy blue. Steel bites into the soft flesh of my neck.
"Try harder next time," the man hisses as blood spills from the cut flesh. I gurgle as the world slips away. Beyond the cavern is nothing but silence.
No sight of a last minute rescue. No one will mourn my death. I'm just the perfect victim. I fill no space in anyone's life.
I didn't realize my death would be so pathetic. What did he mean by "Try harder next time?" Is it a curse or just a taunt to send me into Mara's embrace with a sense I could've done something?
It all leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Why did I have to die that way? Why did I have to be sacrificed?
Could I have done something else?
"If you could do it over again, would you change anything?" A female voice asks curiously from the fog.
"I wouldn't let myself die like that. I'm not cattle to be butchered. I'm a princess. My life has meaning!"
The world gains substance around me with a pulse. Fields of red flowers stretch as far as I can see beneath a sky painted in brilliant azure, purples, and red hues of a sunrise. A breeze brushes against my skin and my hair flutters around me. I search for the voice and a woman stands behind me.
Her eyes bright as the sun and hair as black as midnight. Her gown is a brilliant blue of the heavens. She smiles at me and fills me with warmth. "I'd like to see what you'd become." She beams at me and reaches her hands towards me. "Come and tell me your name."
I'd be a fool to mistake the woman as anything but a goddess. I'm dead. Who else can she be?
I'm drawn to her as I hurry, my torn gown offers no resistance to my running. I trip on a rock amongst the field and fall into her open arms. "Ouch." I wince and stammer, "Camila de Arand."
"Oh, sweet child." She embraces me and kisses me on my forehead. "I will send you back to the turning point to save yourself. Know this, you are loved. You always have a choice. Camila de Arand, go wake and become the main character of your story."
***
"Your highness?"
CRASH.
"Your highness!" A young woman's voice calls out in concern. I open my eyes with an ache pulsing behind them. I stare up at the voice, tangled in bedsheets on the floor. "Are you alright?"
I focus, her face is clearer, round cheeks, gentle brown eyes and a freckled suntanned face framed by dark brown hair. I know this is Isabella. I groan, accepting Isabella's offered hand as she helps me to sit upon my bed once more.
Softness wraps around me and soothes me. "It was just a nightmare." I murmur softly. The images of the field of flowers and the scene in the cave vivid and painful in my mind.
If you could do it over again, would you change anything?
I refocus on the room around me, the opulent wallpaper and heavy white furniture of the sixth palace. The air is heavy with the smell of lilies and tuberoses from the bouquets in white marble vases throughout the suite. Heavy blue silk curtains adorn the large windows. The large bed is filled with down and covered with silken sheets and plush down blankets.
I'm home. It feels like so long ago.
"Your highness, I need to prepare you for the ceremony." Isabella fusses at me, appraising my expression.
"What ceremony?" I furrow my brows; I can't recall a ceremony where Isabella helped me prepare.
Isabella pales. "Oh heavens! How could you forget, your highness. Today is your coming of age ceremony! All of high society will be here to bask in how radiant you are!" She shakes her head. "Your highness, come, we have much to do." She urges, waiting for me to rise from the bed.
I want nothing more than to draw the curtains and lay back down. I've been sent back to my coming of age day. Or perhaps, this was the goddess's way to help me relive my memory in the afterlife to feel like I could change something. A chance for redemption in the afterlife.
I purse my lips together trying to recall the events of the day. Is my memory that bad or was it so bad that I cast all recollection of it away? She called this a turning point.
All of my relatives will be in attendance. So will all the nobility. Ah yes, I remember now. Now that I've come of age, it'll be when my parents will start entertaining marriage proposals. And it is also the time when…
"…. The oracle will be here to read your future!" Isabella excitedly comments and I blink at her. I have no idea what she's said to me since she urged me out of bed. I'm sitting at my vanity and Isabella is happily chattering as she brushes my scarlet tresses. I stare at my reflection; I am 19 again. My eyes are a deep emerald green – much to the disappoint of my parents. If they held the mark of divinity, my life would be different. It's why all the noble families are so large. All seek the blessing of the gods to be marked as the next emperor of this nation.
No one has been chosen in 3 generations, much to the disappoint of those who would aspire to rule should the emperor leave this world before a successor be found.
"The oracle," I repeat with a soft frown. Yes, this was when I learned of my abysmal fate. Things have changed. I've been sent back because something can be changed.
"I'm hoping she'll foresee a love match to that handsome Lord Springborn," Isabella chirps, continuing to fuss at my hair.
"Torbin?" I recall the name, trying to place his face. I can't. There are just too many people filling the ranks of nobility. Some of the noble houses have petitioned the church to change the system to one of appointment but no one has swayed the gods to change their minds.
I sigh. "I suppose he'd be a good match."
"Suppose! You're highness, he's an accomplished knight. It's said he's favored to be chosen by the next Wolf to lead all the kingdom's knights."
I sigh. "If only a dragon should appear in the North for someone to rise as the next Dragonslayer." Isabella freezes at my comment.
"Your highness, you shouldn't speak such ills." She reaches into her pocket and places a handful of salt into my palm. "Toss this over your shoulder to ward off the evil spirits. This is a blessed day for you. Please don't let such thoughts darken your radiance."
I look at the tiny granules in my hand and carefully toss them over my right shoulder. "Is there anyone else interesting showing up to the ceremony?"
Isabella considers the question, letting the sound of the brush passing through my thick hair fill the air as she tries to recall a name that might interest me. It's a large event so not just any name will interest me. Her mention of Torbin Springborn only caused me to roll my eyes. For Isabella, if I'm pleased, it means she'll be rewarded somehow. I like to spoil my favorite maid with gifts and time off. I don't have many servants, but she is my closest companion.
"Ah! Yes. The King of the Eastern Lands will be in attendance! The delegation of Mayonaka will be here tonight, your highness." She pauses and adds with a hopeful smile. "With his handsome son looking for a bridal match."
Mayonaka… I believe in their language it means midnight. That's it. That's something I've never considered. If I can gain the crown of midnight, I can change my fate. I can leave this lands and live a happy life.
"Isabella, bring me the finest gown and accessories I have that will attract the eyes of the crown prince of Mayonaka."