EVA
I sigh. I never in my life imagined myself sitting here at the police station at this hour. And for whom? Someone about whom I couldn't care less. And for what? Because she is still underage but was caught red-handed while drinking beer. In my entire life, I never once thought that as an adult, I would end up winding up watching kids.
No, at fifteen years old, she is not a child anymore. Even though I have only been living with her for two months, she has already brought me a great deal of trouble from who knows where. She doesn't even try to defend herself in the aftermath. And it goes without saying that I am the one who always cleans up after her. I hate it.
I now understand Joe's feelings each time he had to clean up the mess I made. Now, this is why I think I should treat him for taking care of me all these years.
"Ah~" I groan in spite of myself and rub my face exasperatedly. I spot that certain someone I was just thinking about a moment ago emerges from inside, followed closely by a cop.
The cop lectures me on how I should manage my sister. There is nothing I can do about it, so I can only shake my head in response. She never listens to me. Never. She always does what she wants. So, it is only natural for me to be scolded for her actions. 'She is such a bitch.' This is the only sentence, with which I can describe her.
It is well past midnight by the time we leave the police station. I have no car on me and I am pretty sure that the last metro has long since left the station, other than this the other option is to take a cab home but I don't have money for that. At this point, walking home is our only option. Unfortunately, our current location—the police station—is quite a distance from my place. From here, it takes at least two hours to walk. I am not ready for this lengthy walk in the dead of night. Not at this moment. But I have no other choice except it unless I want to spend my night on the streets.
"Oh my god, help me," I moaned in frustration.
I start to walk emotionlessly by the side of the street. Sistina follows closely behind me.
I am so annoyed that I cannot even bring myself to look at her. She is such a nuisance. And I gladly accepted her into my arms. Indeed, doing something like that is entirely my fault. So, the reason I am mad is not her but me. I am such a softie that I can never refuse a request, especially when it comes to my mother's dying wish that I care for my younger siblings. So, I brought it on myself.
And not just once or twice, but multiple times. And every time I get into trouble I think, 'Oh well, crap, it was a bad idea and now I am screwed.' Joe has warned me not to be overly trusting, but who listens to whom? I never listen, so he is always cleaning up after me. But now, I can't even get him to do that. It is a complete disaster.
I always knew that taking her in was a really bad decision. But I couldn't help myself. And now we are off, causing all sorts of problems. I sigh. Neither Sistina nor I can stand each other. So, It was always a bad decision. Actually there are not any particular reasons for us to not be able to stand each other. We cannot stand each other, perhaps because we see too much of ourselves in each other.
To be honest, we are mirror images of one another. I see myself in her, and perhaps she does the same. I was just like her when I was younger. And I can't even blame her because I, myself, changed two months ago. So all I can do now is tolerate the consequences of my actions.
Me and Sistina may be sisters but we never really spent that much time together. Back then, I was always so busy with myself that I didn't even notice that she was in the family picture. So, it's only natural that she hates me. I can't blame her for it. But even so, I wonder how the fuck she and me are so alike. Not our looks but our behavior. It's almost like déjà vu.
Sistina has beautiful olive skin, short black hair, and jade-green eyes. Just like my mother. She just looks like her, that's why I am jealous of her. My mother was a truly excellent person. She was a 'beauty with a brain.' And aside from that she was kind-hearted too.
In other words, she was perfect. But Sistina is not perfect. She is not kind, she is cruel. They might be mother and daughter but their behavior is the exact opposite of each other. I didn't know until I took her in. She is a whore. She is always hooking up with guys despite their age. I mean she is not that beautiful, you know but how come she is the one who is always getting all the guys? Okay, maybe she is beautiful but not as much as me, at least. I have long red hair, blue eyes, and pale ivory skin. I am beautiful and I know I am. But my mother was way more beautiful than me and now everything is gone. All are left behind, in the past.
By the time we reach our apartment, my legs are ready to give out on me. I open the front door to our apartment and step inside. Sebastian leaps to his feet and rushes towards me, "Eva! I was really worried."
"You should worry about her, not about me." I point at Sistina who is standing beside me, crossing her arms over her chest.
"You don't need to worry about me. Not at all." Sistina at last opens her mouth just to say these shitty words. At this moment I feel like I could cut her pretty mouth which guys like so much, if I had a knife. But I control myself. I can't do that unless I want to get arrested.
"What are you bullshitting about, Sis?" Sebastian clenches his fists and grits his teeth, trying to control his anger. "Sis, why are you doing these things? You weren't like this before. You are just adding trouble to Eva's plate."
"I am doing these things because I want to. And who is giving trouble to whom? I never said to take me in. Did I?" Sistina cocks her eyebrows.
"Sistina!—"
"Silence, both of you." I cut Sibustian as I sit on the couch, my legs crossed, hands folded over my chest, "Sibustian, go to your room. You have school tomorrow. It's already really late."
"But, Eva—"
"Please, I will talk to her." Sebastian nods and goes to his room as he shoots a one last disappointed look at Sistina.
She ignores it.
Sebastian is my younger brother. I love him. He is a really good boy. We got along since we were little. He is considerate, understanding, and kind. He really is awesome. He likes me too. So, when I took him, I was really happy about it. I just sometimes wonder how the two are so opposite from each other. If one is in the north one is south. Exactly opposite from each other.
I wait for Sebastian to completely disappear into his room then say, "Explain." My voice is cool but anyone can tell the threatening anger in my voice from the grimace expression on my face.
"Explain what?" Sistina gives me the look that I hate the most. She acts like nothing happened and there's nothing to explain.
"Sistina you can't be serious, you were caught red-handed while drinking alcohol. What do you think it is? Is it normal for you? You better explain yourself this time or am I not gonna let you off the hook this time that easily." I say at a great speed to suppress my anger. I can feel my hands shaking with anger and my voice rising but I keep it in control as much as I can.
"There's nothing to explain about the matter. I was just drinking with my friends, that's it." She says dismissively. So there is no point in pressing the matter further. I know she is doing it on purpose. She is smart enough to avoid any kind of trouble but she is letting herself get caught in trouble so that I can suffer with her.
"Sistina, if you continue like this, it will not end well for you. You will get into big trouble. Mind it." I say. She stares at me for some moments and then starts to walk down the small hallway.
I cringe a little at the loud closing noise of my and Sistina's shared bedroom door.
I am exhausted. I can't do it anymore. She never listens to me, so how can I handle someone who is this unwilling? And I am serious if Sistina continues to go on like this, it will turn out really bad in the future. And when it happens nothing I do to get her out of that mess will be enough. We will be in big trouble if that happens.
Hey God, just what should I do to get her to listen to me? I am really frustrated. Sometimes, she seems like an empty shell to me. Because nothing I say goes through her. She treats me like I am dead or I don't even exist. But I am not giving up on her, not yet. She is my responsibility, so I must get her on the right path. But the question is how do I do that? It seems impossible. Even so, I have to do it. I have promised someone. I have promised my mother. And I have to keep my promise, no matter what.
And thus I fall asleep on the couch, thinking about how to get everything right. My current life is an utter mess, I have to get it right, no matter what. I have so much to do. But I don't know how to do them. Maybe I will find something, someday. Until then I will just wait and hang in there.